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I have an extreme case of schizoaffective anxiety, and I’m preparing for major surgery. I’m getting knee replacements in both knees--one at a time. This anxiety spike about surgery is multi-faceted.
Mindfulness can be a helpful tool for coping with anxiety. Mindfulness is something I have become more familiar with and increasingly utilized over the years as I have practiced it as a strategy for managing my anxiety.
I left the UK to undergo alcohol treatment in South Africa, so it was inevitable that this would alter my perspective somewhat. However, after spending more time in this new environment, several striking realizations about the UK's negative relationship were crystal clear. After talking to numerous people from the same country and background, there was a common thread of early exposure to alcohol having long-lasting consequences. In short, I learned that teenage drinking can lead to addiction.
My depression is a disability. In my six years as a mental health blogger, I have often encountered people who believe that depression is temporary and those who cannot overcome it quickly are weak-willed. Despite various depression awareness campaigns, I have noticed that most people still minimize the effects and consequences of depression. These folks are so close-minded that they hang on to myths and misconceptions even in the face of cold, hard facts. It can be impossible to silence such naysayers for those of us who are living with this condition. But even if we cannot silence them, we must not internalize their misconceptions about depression and realize that depression can be a disability.
One surprising part of my mental health recovery journey was experiencing heightened emotions. I had successfully dodged painful feelings for years, developing a fear of feeling. But now that I'm recovering, I've felt my emotions more deeply, in almost an overwhelming way. Fear of feeling can be difficult to navigate, but it ultimately enhances my life experiences.
Sometimes you need to surrender to yourself. I learned this recently in the most unusual way. To jump right into it: I can't orgasm. Well, that's not entirely true. I can orgasm by myself with relative ease, but I can count the number of times I've orgasmed with another person on one hand, and most of those occasions have been helped along by technology. For a long time, I figured it was just my anatomy; some bodies were built to orgasm, but mine was not. I had other things going for me—it was what it was. 
When I sit down to think about it, I often trace my anxiety back to James Parker. James Parker caused childhood trauma that left me anxious for years.
It is one thing to struggle with a gambling addiction; it is a new challenge when dealing with a loved one’s gambling addiction. As someone who has experienced gambling addiction, knowing the depths it took me to makes me worry because I understand the devastating impact it can have on every aspect of life. I also realize how hard having a loved one with a gambling addiction is.
The grieving process can be traumatic for verbal abuse victims, although the experience is unique for each person. When major life events happen, victims of verbal abuse may work through their grief differently than others. It can take more or less time to heal and move through grief than expected. It's important to recognize that there is no right way to grieve. Verbal abuse victims should seek the help and support they need while working through grief, especially if the grieving process is traumatic.
It is essential to my wellbeing to have supportive friends in the workplace. We all need a support network that we can rely on when feeling down. I have always had one supportive colleague I can trust and rely on for support when experiencing symptoms of bipolar or depression. I navigate my mental health in the workplace by finding one person I can confide in. I set up one hour per week where we can talk openly about workplace stressors and my mental health. A supportive friend at work can be an advocate and provide emotional support.

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MK
Thank you. I can relate to parts of this story as a 54 year old who has felt suicidal since 10. However, in my case I can’t blame parents who expected perfection. They were normal people. My mistakes are real, significant, and frequent. For example, I just got off a work call. Our CEO is friendly and thanks literally everyone else. With me, my phrasing is awkward, incomplete, and wrong. He didn’t even know who I was and frustratingly asked me to follow up. Sure enough, the information was already available and someone else provided it. Later, one of my coworkers saw me and said “wow, that was ugly”. My boss gave me my first year review. His statements include j“you’re struggling, you don’t seem to put the dots together, I don’t have faith that you can do this job”. These are verbatims. If this only happened every couple of months it wouldn’t be bad. However, it’s daily. Some may say that I haven’t found the right fit and to try something else. But that’s the thing, I’ve tried all sorts of jobs and I keep making big mistakes. I went to military pilot training and barely made it through. Once in the flying squadron I struggled so much I was asked to leave. “Try something else”. I did; engineer, sales, marketing, hands-on work. Always the same. Also, I have no real friends. I thought I did a couple of times but I was never invited to their important events, such as 40th bday parties, kids weddings, etc. After all these years I prefer to be by myself.

Once a year or so, things will get better and suddenly my mood lifts. However, I’ll soon make another mistake and go right back to my long term severe depression. Thus, it is clear to me that I don’t have a chemical imbalance or some sort of mental disorder. Instead, my depression is completely explainable. I’m a lonely screw up despite decades of effort. These circumstances would make anyone suicidal. I made major attempts three times. At age 20 I had a major anxiety attack the day before my junior year. I went in the woods near my house with a pistol. I held it to my head but eventually chickened out. I convinced myself that things were would get better. Deep, deep
down inside I knew they wouldn’t and that was the case. Most recently I’ve found a large rock outcropping at the exit I take for the gym. I wish
I wasn’t so afraid. I feel regret every day that I didn’t go through with it at 20. So much pain.

Every other suicidal person I’ve met has flawed thinking and can get back on track. In my case, however, my thinking is clear: I am a friendless screwup. The evidence is there plain as day.
Rue
Hi Alyssa! I hope I'm not too late. With the weather, it might not be. Just say it's a bit chilly, and that the water is cold. Hope this help.
Abigail
Thank you. This is helpful.
Natasha Tracy
Hi She_Has_No_Name,

Thank you for your comment. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I wish I could say something to make it feel better, but I suspect that's impossible.

What I can say is that you're right to hope. There is always the possibility of positive change. Getting help -- new help, additional help, etc. -- can be very hard and even disheartening at times, but it can also work, too.

I'm sending you some warm fuzzies. I know how hard it is, but the fact that you're still here speaks to your strength.

-- Natasha Tracy