Look, I get it. Work is supposed to be stressful. It's called work and not play for a reason, after all. But there's a difference between experiencing stress on occasion and experiencing stress every single day. In fact, it's possible that what you think is stress is actually depression, and that your job is what is responsible for your depression. 
If you know someone who is struggling with low self-esteem, you may have many instinctive reactions about how best to help him or her. Also, when that person is someone you deeply care about, you may think that you have to go to a lot of extra effort to boost his or her self-esteem; which is understandable – it just shows you’re trying to be supportive. However, for someone who has low self-esteem, there are certain things you might say which – although said with positive intentions – can be quite unhelpful. In fact, certain comments can make that person feel worse about themselves. Here are some examples of things to avoid saying to someone with low self-esteem.
Do you know how many alters your system contains? Can you ever really know how many parts you have? It's important first to understand how our parts are created. According to the theory of structural dissociation, alters are created when an existing part cannot cope with the new trauma and stress in the system, so a new alter is created out of necessity. The first time the abuse occurred to you as a child, you did not automatically split into your current system of alters. You initially split into two, and, as the abuse continued, more parts were needed to handle the trauma. 
Radical acceptance is a term often taught in dialectical behavior therapy. It pulls from Buddhist principles and is the act of fully accepting reality just as it is. I have found that many of the DBT principles are simple in theory but difficult to implement. Radical acceptance is no exception, but there are many benefits of radically accepting things you cannot change.
Going on vacation with borderline personality disorder can bring added challenges. A few years ago, when I was on vacation with my friend in France, I found myself crying on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night becoming increasingly distressed and desperate to be at home. I love going on vacation and being lucky enough to explore new places, but there are times when going away causes me additional challenges for managing my borderline personality disorder (BPD).  
Some call it intuition. Others call it a "gut feeling." No matter the label, we all have an inner GPS that guides us. But what happens when your inner GPS is recalibrated to someone else's objectives? This recalibration is the result of a verbally abusive relationship. The abuser will work their magic to undo our self-trust and put that trust into their hands. When this happens, we feel as though there is no place to turn, and the minute we get lost, the recalibration begins.
My relationship with sex after trauma hasn't been a good one. You see, when I was sixteen, I got drunk at a concert. On the train ride home, I drifted off. When I woke up, a stranger's hand was in my underwear. I pushed his hand away and he sped into the next train car. My reaction was a feeling of shame; I blamed myself for sexual assault. I shouldn't have gotten drunk, I shouldn't have worn a skirt, I should have been more responsible. With the support of my parents, I eventually reported the incident, but the shame remained. 
Bad mental health days hurt, in no small part because they make me feel so alone. It's hard for me to ask for help, but I'm trying to get better at it because it turns out, having some support can make a world of difference on bad mental health days.
Some people say I'm negative about bipolar disorder. Some people say that calling my bipolar disorder a chronic illness and anticipating the awful effects of bipolar disorder to come is negative. I disagree. I feel that I'm realistic about my own bipolar disorder. Being negative about bipolar disorder is different. 
The stigma surrounding drug addiction can be just as pervasive as drug addiction itself. It's important to realize that spreading drug addiction stigma doesn't address the overall issue of drug addiction or to people recovering from the illness.

Follow Us


Most Popular


Becca Hargis

Thank you for your comments. I am so sorry to hear that there is an "internal freak out." It does get better. Admitting that I had dissociative identity disorder took a long time. It might be the same with you, but with time, therapy, outside support, or something else, you and your alters can get through this. Keep in touch.
Becca Hargis
Hi, Elise. Thank you so much for your comment.

It can take a while to learn who some of your alters are, but I am glad to hear that you and your parts are already getting along well. And what you said about people with dissociative identity disorder being smart is absolutely true. If we weren't smart or creative, we would never have survived this long. Take care.
Becca Hargis
Hello, Shai.

Thank you for your comment. I often wonder if I also will ever be normal given my dissociative identity disorder, but I try to reframe my thought and tell myself I am normal for my frame of reference. I hope you find what you need that makes you feel normal, too. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Becca Hargis
Hello, Ash. Thank you for your comment. It sounds like you have done an incredible amount of work with your system to have everyone cooperate. Excellent!
Becca Hargis
Hi, GerriJune.

Thank you very much for your comment. While the original author is no longer available, I am happy to offer my support to you and share my experiences as a married individual with dissociative identity disorder. Supporting someone with DID can be very challenging. I am grateful to have my husband's support. Please feel open and free to share with me so that I may offer my support. Thank you and take care.

Mental Health Newsletter