Blogs
Martha Lueck
Everyone has different ways of showing and receiving love. According to author Gary D. Chapman of "The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts," there are five main love languages: acts of service, positive affirmations, physical touch, gift giving, and quality time. By understanding each love language, I was able to identify the methods that affect me the most. In this article, I will talk about all of the love languages and how they have helped me get through life's trials.
Kate Beveridge
Reckless decisions are common with people who live with borderline personality disorder (BPD). However, these decisions can harm your mental and physical health, as well as your relationships. Learning how to control impulsive behavior with BPD can be a helpful skill if you want to progress in your recovery.
Juliana Sabatello
Apologizing when we wrong someone is an important social skill, but excessive apologizing when it isn't necessary can actually put strain on our relationships. My anxiety compelled me to say sorry any time I felt insecure, guilty, ashamed, or worried in a social situation, and people would become annoyed and frustrated with me because of it. I would then apologize for annoying them with my apologizing, which continued from there in an exhausting cycle for everyone involved. I haven't completely broken this habit, but I have curbed it somewhat through self-reflection, mindfulness, and alternative actions. Maybe the strategies that worked for me can help those of you who relate to this problem.
Nicola Spendlove
I have been down a serious Google rabbit hole this past week on the subject of mental illness masking other conditions. The reason for this is personal – my brother is currently undergoing diagnostic testing for autism. The more I think about this, the more it makes sense that mental illness could inhibit timely diagnosis of other issues.
Meagon Nolasco
The lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, etc. (LGBTQIA+) community faces barriers when searching for inclusive mental health care. These barriers can include uneducated providers, discrimination within a community practice setting, and financial hardships that limit provider options. Acknowledging that these barriers exist for the LGBTQIA+ mental health community is the first step in eradicating them.
Natasha Tracy
In my last post, I talked about how I experience depression as anger or rage. In this post, I'm going to talk about how to handle anger or rage that is really depression in disguise.
Cheryl Wozny
You do not have to be in an abusive relationship to experience verbal abuse. There can be many situations where an individual is subjected to verbal abuse from strangers. Unfortunately, this happens more often than you think. These random incidents are not okay, but it can be hard to deal with them when they come up. It can be in the form of personal insults, name-calling, or other belittling comments.
Kelly Epperson
Can minimalism help when you have postpartum depression? I think so, and here's my story.
Annabelle Clawson
It's tricky to determine when to get help for depression. You, like me, might think: "Am I even depressed, or am I just lazy?" or "Why am I making such a big deal out of this?" I tried to convince myself that I didn't need professional help, that I could figure it out on my own. But getting help for depression was one of the bravest and best choices I've ever made.
Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC, DAIS
Anxiety often causes impatience. It's a unique type of impatience, though--not that feeling of annoyance that comes from being mildly inconvenienced, but a deeper sense of immediacy or urgency that makes us believe that we have to act on a sudden thought or emotion now because it is our only chance and disasters might happen if we don't take action immediately. It's also different than the impulsivity that makes people do things without thinking them through. The impulse to act driven by anxiety happens because of too much thinking. It's possible to resist the urge to act and operate from a sense of peace rather than anxiety.
You ask a good question. In my opinion, I would err on the side of more communication, rather than less. This lets your boyfriend know that someone cares. That's a big thing when you're not doing well. And if you feel good about making that connection, then yes, I would say go ahead.
Now, if he asks you to stop, then that's different, but without his input, I say, yes, make contact.
- Natasha Tracy
You certainly have a right to your opinion and point of view; but as one of those people who suffer from one of those debilitating illnesses, my point of view differs. I could list 1000 reasons why, but here are two:
One, we never know when a new treatment might work. Are the odds against someone who has been trying treatments for a long time? Probably. But that doesn't mean that a different treatment type such as ketamine infusions or electroconvulsive therapy or a new medication on the market won't be successful. I have a hard time "letting someone go" when I _know_ there is hope to be had.
Two, I have been in the place where I wanted to die and I have been in the place where I have tried and failed treatment after treatment. I, in fact, tried to die. But here, standing on the other side of that, I can honestly say, I was wrong. I wasn't the only one -- the doctors were wrong too -- but the point is, there is always a new avenue, you just have to find it, and I did. And now it's 11 years later. And it's not that it's been a glorious 11 years or anything, but it has been 11 years worth having, and that matters.
Yes, if you would like to consider the point of view of a very sick person who de facto isn't capable of making good choices (serious mental illness does that to your brain), that's certainly one option, but as I said, my view differs.
- Natasha Tracy
I'm sorry to hear that things have been so difficult. With the information you've given me it's hard to say what's needed.
For example, what's happening with her medication? Is she taking it as prescribed? Does she need different medication? Can she have special medication to take just at the time when a mania starts to bring her back down? What does her psychiatrist say about her cycle?
Also, does she want this cycle? What are her wants? If she doesn't want it to change, then I can't imagine it will.
Is she in therapy? What is her therapist's take? Why are things okay "for several months" and then the cycle starts again?
Would a separate be best for your daughters? Is it healthy for them to be in that environment? Would it be better for them to see their mom primarily when she's well?
Basically, there are two possibilities. One is that your wife is doing something to sabotage her wellness either because she likes the mania or because she hates the treatment, likely. If this is the case, I don't think there's anything you can do except create explicit boundaries and follow through with them.
The other possibility is that her treatment legitimately isn't working. If this is the case then her doctor needs to make substantial changes and plans need to be put in place for when/if the mania happens again.
I can understand wanting to stay in a marriage and I can understand wanting to keep a family together but that may not be the best thing for all involved. If you haven't already done so, I recommend family therapy for help in working some of these issues out and putting a plan in place for the next mania.
I wish good mental health for you all.
- Natasha Tracy