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There’s so much information online about the negative side-effects of living with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and very little about BPD superpowers. Yep, that's right -- if you or someone you know has BPD, they, or you, probably have superpowers. In this article, I get into one aspect I love about my BPD-having-self.
Do you ever find yourself worrying about the future? As someone who struggles with anxiety, I sometimes find myself worrying about what the future holds. However, recently, I have been finding myself getting more anxious about the future than ever before. This fear and worry seeps into everything I do at all times of the day. From waking up to going to work and back to bed, my mind is constantly filled with anxious thoughts about what the future will look like for me. This interferes with my daily life and makes me feel mentally exhausted. 
Whether you ascribe to spoon theory, visualize it as a battery draining, or some other metaphor, energy can be low or nonexistent when you have mental health struggles. For me, I generally have less energy to begin with, and, often, day-to-day activities—even simple interactions or tasks—can steal all my spoons or drain that battery to red. When my depression and anxiety are running rampant, it can feel like everything goes into the negative.
My name is Mel Bender. I’m thrilled to be joining HealthyPlace as an author for the Relationships and Mental Illness blog. I’m a freelance writer, blogger, and artist living in Toronto, Canada.
Over the past several months, I've been writing about ways to boost self-esteem at a comfortable pace. I find that working at your own speed and setting achievable goals will help set anyone up for self-esteem success. Today, I'd like to talk about something different I tried recently. I want to talk about how challenging myself affected my self-esteem.
Recently a friend ruined my mental health. Well, a friend combined with preexisting bipolar disorder, ruined my mental health. I don't believe in blaming people for mental health problems, per se; but, sometimes people do things that are so damaging, a change in mental health really is pretty much their fault. So, what do you do when a friend ruins your mental health?
This might seem like a bold, hyperbolic claim, but it just so happens to be true: I have no regrets about my eating disorder. Of course, there are some behaviors I am not proud of, relationships I have worked fiercely to restore, and memories I still flinch at. But in terms of actual regret, I simply think it's a wasted emotion. While I have absolutely no desire to relive those 15 years of battling anorexia, this formative chapter in my life transformed me into who I am right now—a person for whom I feel genuine love and respect. So if you'll indulge me for a few minutes, I will unpack why I have no regrets about my eating disorder.
On July 16th, 2022, the new three-digit Suicide and Mental Health Crisis Hotline went into full effect. The transition from a 10-digit number to the more convenient and memorable 988 is a positive step toward adequate and widely-accessible mental health resources for all. Moreover, the hotline is no longer solely for suicidal individuals but open to anyone facing a mental health crisis. The overall messaging behind this change is perhaps the most impactful. We hear you; we see you; we'll show you not only through our words but through our actions.
Many individuals, including myself, can take notice of subtleties later when they are no longer the object of verbal abuse. It shocks me as I look back and replay many of these instances in my head. There were several reasons why, however, I never recognized it as abusive, which led me to remain in the same situation for years.
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is the first major mood disorder I suffered from as a kid. However, I did develop early symptoms of bipolar disorder as a teen as well, and that later led to schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is a very extreme form of what is commonly known as premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Untreated, I don’t have minor bouts of irritability or sadness during my period--I have full-on depression accompanied by suicidal thoughts. The way I treat my PMDD is with birth control pills.

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Comments

Kb
Ugh you feel so foolish and used when you realize it was all just like everything else with them, fake… she was the master could flip hysterical tears off and on like that… the things I know now are so upsetting and hard to understand it broke trying to understand. I’m still on recovery and honestly it’s cost me almost everything at this point. These women are insidious and malicious, no matter what your heart tells you they meant to you they did it all with the intent of hurting you this deeply one day and leaving you dramatically to make you their next horror story. You knew it from the start, it was only a matte a time, she lied every single day
June
To put together an uneducated article is extremely hazardous for children and parents of children who actually do have pans or pandas.
My daughter did not have the typical strep throat. She threw up when she was 5 a couple of weeks later she started having sudden OCD, then came depression, anxiety, rage....
We have tried everything Mental Health medications that did not work. After I did research on why my child got so sick so fast I found pans/pandas. I diagnosed my child, I did not believe in this disorder, it was the craziest thing I've ever heard of. But this is my child and I know something wasn't right.
After sometime of researching and not just Googling s*** I realized this had to be something to explore I requested her pediatrician put her on 30 days of penicillin. She started eating again she started smiling again and in 45 days her OCD patterns started disappearing. 2 years later she got a flare and this all came back, this time penicillin didn't work. I told her doctor after doing more research, to try Augmentin for 30 days and that worked.
A couple of years later she had another flare. This time nothing's really worked and we've tried so many things I can't even begin to list them off. She was even diagnosed by an MGH expert with depression. She was wrong. My daughter now sees an excellent Panda's doctor and she says my daughter should have her tonsils and adenoids out and she's betting anything that because of the pattern of medications not working and in the beginning they did work she's betting that my daughter has staph infection in her tonsils and adenoids along with strep which would not be detected by a simple swab.
You are entitled to your opinion, and I will not judge you for that however if somehow your child May possibly even the littlest thought of maybe might have pans that can be cured much easier why would you not even entertain the idea and do more research. Having another child who has the most common OCD and depression I know there is a difference and I'm not saying every kid who has mental illness or OCD or depression has pans of pandas but I can tell you what one child goes through the other child does not even though they're equally as horrible.
I know you cannot find what these children go through online trust me what my daughter goes through would blow your socks off. If you ever want to talk and find out more I would be more than happy to talk to you. Find me online
June Greenlaw Waltham, ma
Yolanda
Hi Margaret,
I hope u see this again i read a book Complex ptsd by Paul walker and it has so much info from a man who actually has this as well. He teaches how this all comes to be and how to ease the symptoms we ge. They are flashbacks and how to calm ourselves when we feel them . He also gives you alot of resources to help ourselves when we can't fund a therapist thst understands this. I don't have insurance so I been doing alot of research. There's not alot out there which is messed up but he does say we need support from somebody. I have nobody. I went no contact with my toxic family. I had just those type of people around me being physically abused and I hate how I can't control the thoughts in my head but slowly this book is helping there's steps to take and we have to nature our inner child and stop our inner critic. I found a friend who I met when I was 16 I'm 42 now, he taught me a little about Buddhism and he lives in India now. He is coming to visit me for a few days but I think I'm getting a little better now since I came in contact with him .I hope you see this and you are doing better. I will think of u in my prayers to all of us out there as well.
Pascale B
I was ghosted by me neighbor who has bipolar disorder it hurt a lot

She was a user and entitled anytime she needed something she would ask for my help I would oblige, then one day when I couldn’t take her call she got mad and decided to “ghost” me even though I tried calling her back to see if everything was ok. Sorry I can’t be at her every beck and call waiting on her needs hand and foot I was in class when she called twice in a row. When she would get what she wanted she would toss me to the side I forgave her many times and told myself it’s ok, well it’s NOT ok not acceptable. When I texted her the next day to ask her if everything was ok since I missed her call she said “she’s busy” excuse me she’s a stay at home mom I work all week and have an entire home to manage as well as personal appointments to keep every day after work… who called who to bother them? She called me it wasn’t the other way around so when you say your “busy” don’t blow up my phone the day before because I am 10 times more busy than you are juggling my career, house work and personal responsibilities while you are a stay at home mom who looks at her window and spies on our neighbors all day long. Anyway now she does not speak to me she ignores me and if she sees me she pretends as if I am dead and put a sticker on her car that says “not today satan” lady are you talking to me? She has issues she’s a user throws people to the side when she gets what she needs out of them and if you can’t take her call one time she will discard you as if you never existed in her phone book or life. She will go to hell for her ghosting and say hi to satan every day in her afterlife for the hurt she has caused becuse I was nothing but nice and helpful to her and all I got in return was a slap to the face, very hurtful and rude. I never ever once asked her to help me I am very self sufficient she always needed my help and now I am ghosted. That’s why I decided to no longer help people who are users.
Paula
I'm 68 and picked bug bites into scabs and then picked the scabs repeatedly as a child. My parents constantly yelled at me for picking and my father warned me he'd bring me to "The Scratching Lady" if I didn't stop. The SL and her son lived in a home where everything was blood-soaked due to their constant picking. I was probably around 5 years old and had many allergies . One day, the family was in the car and I picked a scab. My sister ratted on me and the next thing I know, my Dad is pulling into the driveway of the SL and pulling a hysterical me out of the backseat. After what seemed like an eternity, he relented. I really don't remember the rest. The scratching behavior ended well over 50 years ago but has recently started back up in the last year or so. Go figure.