Blogs
Nicola Spendlove
It can be difficult to strike the balance between respecting a family member's right to confidentiality about their diagnosis, and recognizing your own need to vent. Here's how I handle this tricky issue.
Natasha Tracy
Because of bipolar and depression, I have a lack of motivation. Lack of motivation is not technically a symptom of depression according to the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition" ("DSM-5"), but in my experience, it's highly correlated. I must admit, I harshly judge this as being a personal flaw. Here's a look at how depression and a lack of motivation are linked and how a lack of motivation isn't really a personal flaw at all.
Cheryl Wozny
It can be hard to talk about a situation that involves verbal abuse. Many victims can be hesitant to share their verbal abuse stories, especially when they are afraid of backlash or gaslighting from others. This reluctance is a barrier that can keep individuals from leaving abuse, healing, and moving forward.
Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC, DAIS
An anxiety-flare up is an unexpected return of anxiety after you thought you had worked through it. Despite how it may feel, it's not a sign that you're doomed to a life of high anxiety. When you gain a broader perspective on what an anxiety flare-up is, you can take steps to handle it and move forward again.
TJ DeSalvo
I don’t know how many people feel limited by anxiety, but if I were to make a bet, I would say that quite a few people are impacted by the limitations of anxiety, so I figured a post is recommended. When I am anxious, I find that there are certain things that I am unable to do because they are too mentally taxing. I’m not talking about things that I’m uncomfortable doing anyway – these are things that I love doing, things that I would ordinarily spend a lot of time doing if I wasn’t anxious.
Annabelle Clawson
Hard conversations are, well, hard. Maybe you are waiting for another person to initiate; perhaps you don't want to ruin your relationship. You might convince yourself that there's nothing to talk about, that issues will magically melt away soon enough. Most of the time, unfortunately, this isn't true--most of the time, you need to have a difficult conversation.
Martyna Halas
This post is not necessarily about wrist scars, as self-harm can come in many forms. This is just a reflection on my personal experiences with self-injury in the wrist and forearm area, as that's where I used to hurt myself. I feel most people react to scars similarly, especially if their reaction comes from ignorance or fear rather than love. Therefore, this might be helpful if you know someone who self-harms, and you wonder how to behave around them.
Kate Beveridge
It can be easy to fall into a victim mentality with borderline personality disorder (BPD). You can often feel like your brain is working against you and making life unnecessarily hard. However, treating yourself as a victim can be detrimental and prevent you from recovering and moving on from traumatic events.
Laura A. Barton
I feel as though people like to think about incidents of mental health stigma as little pockets in time, but really it lives beyond the moment it happens. It's not compartmentalized or filed away. We know stigma can have negative impacts on a person, but understanding the depth of those impacts starts with understanding how long that moment of stigma can exist for a person.
Jennifer Lear
The "Iceberg Theory" is a frequently cited model of behavior which states that a person's behavior can only be properly understood in the context of the factors that caused it. What a person does is "the tip of the iceberg"-- what we don't see are the emotional, social, cultural, and other factors that lie "beneath the surface" to cause that behavior.
In 1987 I fell in love with a lady with DID. I met with at least 3 separate personalities I encountered over the following 18 months. Two were loving, kind and very much in love with me.. particularly the primary personality that seemed to be dominant most of the time.. The third was rarely seen.... destructive and dismissive at first, believing I held her back from what she wanted and needed.
One night she came home at 2 AM, cold and stiff. I held her and she started crying, demanding that I punish her , hit her. I held her tight, kissed her and told her that I could never hurt her, I loved her. I said that no matter what had happened that night, no matter what she had done,. it didn't matter, I loved her. And I meant it completely without reservation. I held her tighter and she held onto me tighter,. I felt waves of love from this personality. as she sobbed herself to sleep.
The next morning, the happy loving partner personality seemed completely unaware of the events of the previous night... and I may have made the biggest mistake of my life by not discussing it with her... but she seemed so happy I didn't want to hurt her.
The dismissive personality I believe came to love me after that night, and i watched as she fought to change her destructive ways over the next few months.
Several months later I asked the primary , loving personality to marry me. I saw the joy in her eyes that then shifted to concern and quiet. She hugged me tightly and desperately, we kissed.... but would not answer Yes or No. That was the last night I ever saw her... she disappeared and a friend told me that she said she would never return to me... she felt she was protecting me and she never wants to harm me..
People with DID.... Please know that if you meet someone out there for you, who can love you so strongly and completely ... that says they wanting to marry you, eyes wide open...
Don't run from them... trust that if they say they are strong enough to weather anything that happens, and they love you completely. without reservation....... you and they both deserve the chance at long term happiness.
Only time and trying will tell... do not give into fear of what may happen... find out what does happen.
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