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Near where I live, there are a couple of little boxes where people can leave books they wish to donate, as well as take any books they may find interesting. Over the past few weeks, I’ve given away quite a number of books to these boxes, and in the process, I’ve felt a great sense of relief and catharsis.
In my experience, a significant number of people go through at least one depressive episode in their life. An episode typically lasts for at least two weeks and can put a damper on productivity, especially at work. I have been through many such episodes so far, and have had to work during a significant number of them.
Living with dissociative identity disorder (DID) often feels like living with a secret; so opening up about your DID diagnosis is difficult. Many people who have the condition, including myself, are stealth-like in hiding it. Because it’s a mental health condition, as opposed to a physical ailment, it’s easier to hide from the naked eye. However, this doesn’t mean that it isn’t a burden. It can help to have friends and family members in the know, as they can provide invaluable support, but how do you open up about your DID diagnosis the first time?
I've had a home office for over a decade--long before it became a forced norm of the COVID-19 pandemic--and during this time, I noticed how working from home affected my eating disorder recovery. It wasn't a smooth road, but with a few strategies, I learned how to support my eating disorder (ED) recovery with healthy habits.
Many patients with chronic illnesses find themselves with some amount of medical trauma. When you're a child, it's hard to make sense of surgeries, blood tests, and hours spent in hospitals with the sick and dying. But there's also the medical trauma that, for many of us, could have been avoided if our doctors had been better listeners.
I've been in recovery from mental illness for several years now because recovery is a slow, and often lifelong, process. There are many aspects of recovery that I have a pretty good handle on at this point, like opening up in therapy and sharing my experiences with others to make all of us feel a little less alone, but one part that still throws me for a loop every time is the "random" breakdowns in mental health recovery.
Losing my ability to focus is a symptom of anxiety that I often experience. Anxiety is a physical response to a stressful situation, and when we experience anxiety, we experience an increase in stress hormones which makes it more difficult to concentrate.
Refraining from summer binge eating can be challenging if you are in binge eating disorder recovery. As temperatures rise, the media heaps on the pressure to have the perfect "beach body," routines go out the window, and co-occurring mental health issues such as anxiety and depression may arise — all of which can trigger summer binge eating.
When we hear the word "self-harm," we often think of self-inflicted physical wounds. However, negative thought patterns can lead to emotional self-harm and cause just as much damage to our mental health and lead to serious problems in the long-run. Physical and emotional self-harm can be similar in many ways, and they often go hand-in-hand with each other.
There are lasting effects of mental health stigma that go beyond shame, silence, and the way we navigate the world. When thinking of stigma and its impacts, those are often the things that come up, but there are other lasting effects of mental health stigma as well, such as how we interact with people.

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Comments

Megan Griffith
Hi Cordell, just so you know, I read this. And my heart aches for you. I am so sorry you're in so much pain. It sounds like you're feeling hopeless and overwhelmed by how bad things are, like there's no way they can ever get better. That's a horrible weight to bear, and I'm sorry. It seems like you probably don't want to hear all the trite BS about how it gets better, so instead maybe try checking out these comics about depression by Allie Brosh. They honestly gave me some semblance of "hope" when I was in a similar position to yours. Keep reaching out, I promise I'll keep reading.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
Mary-Elizabeth Schurrer
Hi Cordell,

Thank you for the comment. I am so sorry that you are in the midst of this pain and suffering. Here are some helpful resources and hotline numbers to find connection and support: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources. I know it can be difficult, but please reach out.

Mary-Elizabeth Schurrer
HealthyPlace Blog Comment Moderator
Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC
Hi Lizanne,

I completely agree with you that fear of rejection and sense of responsibility are huge. These are concepts worth exploring!
Cordell
I'm sorry if this is scattered. I was just typing as thoughts went through my brain.
To be perfectly honest, I find these lists humorous, but useless.
I don't want to go outside.
I don't want to visit who-cares-where.
I don't care if I live to 20. I'm 15.
I've given up on finding love.
And what if the source of my depression isn't bullying, or an abusive family, but just myself.
I hate myself for hating myself.
I want to die and that only makes me more suicidal. I've basically stopped caring. My death won't change anything. My mom might be sad, but that's part of the job description of "mother". My "friends" won't care, they've never cared. My brothers never cared, nor could they ever understand.
Sure everyone says I have a bright future. I'm in the top ten in my class of 228. But I don't care. I don't want to go through life.
I don't have any reason to live, and I don't want people telling me "if you're dead you can't feel relief". That's exactly the point of suicide, that I can't feel. If you're dead, you can't feel pain, either.
I also don't want people telling me anything about God or Jesus. While I respect your religious beliefs, I'm an atheist and don't like it when people try to force feed me religion. It only gives me one more reason to feel like an outsider.
Please don't try to talk me out of this. It's not going to happen.
And if you never cared during my life, please don't pretend to care in death.
And as usual, no one will read this.
I'm going to be forgotten. Even in I lived to 90 years old, 10 years after I die, I'd be forgotten.
Cordell
I'm 15. I have no friends, I feel like my family hates me. I don't know where I'm going in life. And that's just it: I don't want to grow up and have the responsibilities of an adult. I know that's selfish as hell, but I just don't see any reason why I should have to live.
Anytime I've tried to talk to any adults about my depression, I only end up feeling worse about myself.
I can't escape the feeling that I'm just a burden to everyone around me. Sometimes I wish someone would see through the fake smiles.
And in response to this article: I already knew these things. It's what they teach in school. But I don't care, I can't keep living wanting to die.
I know that no one is even going to read this, so it's not as if what I say matters.