There are several ways an individual may react to verbal abuse. Two of these common responses include fawning and appeasement. Although they share some similar characteristics, each is unique and can produce alternative results.
Verbal Abuse in Relationships
Advice for verbal abuse is often sought. This call for help can be subtle or obvious, depending on their personality. Not surprisingly, I've been on both sides of this scenario. Although it can be easy to give verbal abuse advice, following it may be more challenging.
I consider conditional love to be part of verbal abuse. Not all verbally abusive behaviors are apparent. Instead of demeaning insults or threats, sometimes it involves less obvious actions, like withholding affection. This type of conduct can still be harmful to anyone who is the target of conditional love and verbal abuse from a person they care about.
Managing attention-deficit/hyperactivity (ADHD) behaviors can be challenging for many people, especially those in abuse recovery. Often, triggers can amplify a person's reactions to someone's actions or words. In some cases, like mine, my battle with ADHD helped fuel my verbal abuse recovery process.
Verbal abuse can affect many areas of life, including your view of body image and diet. Because this abusive tactic targets your self-esteem, experiencing negative comments about your weight can directly impact how you manage food consumption. In short, verbal abuse can affect your diet choices.
When many people think of verbal abuse, they picture an angry person screaming insults or spewing vicious words, but passive aggressiveness can be verbally abusive, too. Verbal abuse doesn't have to include yelling or potential threats. Sometimes, passive-aggressive verbal abuse can be just as harmful.
Athletes can experience verbal abuse while participating in a wide variety of activities, from team sports to individual competitions. This verbal abuse can cause stress and possible emotional harm to the athlete. Insults, name-calling, or put-downs will not make a swimmer move faster through the water or ensure a child will score a goal. In fact, the opposite often occurs. Athletes who experience verbal abuse can suffer from low self-esteem and have increased self-doubt, hindering their athletic abilities.
Verbal abuse can happen in team sports. Sports have existed for thousands of years, available to people of all cultures and ages. Unfortunately, so has verbal abuse. When these two worlds integrate, the results can be devastating. Verbal abuse in team sports can come from coaches, players, parents, or spectators, affecting everyone.
Practicing self-care is not selfish. If you struggle with caring for your needs, you aren't alone. Individuals who are targets of verbal abuse often neglect themselves because they are hypervigilant about their abuser's behaviors. This increased alertness can cause extreme sensitivity to your environment, causing you to overreact in some situations. Living in this continuous state of fear and anxiousness drains you mentally and physically, creating a self-care deficit. It's important to learn that it's not selfish to practice self-care.
I have anxiety after verbal abuse. One tool I've picked up from my years of therapy is using words of affirmation. I think how you talk to yourself can help reinforce positive beliefs and improve your self-esteem. I've been using this strategy for years now to help heal from verbal abuse. However, more recently, I've noticed that it can also help calm my anxiety even when I'm not facing verbal abuse.