advertisement

Blogs

Do you feel like something is missing in your life? You are not alone. From time to time, so do I. A recent session with my therapist revealed that this isn't new: humans have always been dissatisfied with their lives. She said we are only experiencing it more frequently today because of factors like social media comparison, increased capitalism, and the belief that one can have it all. These factors have come to define civilized life, and we cannot control most of them. However, we can control our reactions to them to minimize life dissatisfaction. Let's take a look at what my therapist told me about feeling something is missing.
For those grappling with borderline personality disorder (BPD), the aftermath of a BPD breakup can feel excruciating. The aftermath of a BPD breakup isn't just about saying goodbye to a partner; it's a deep, existential unraveling. The experience of a BPD breakup is akin to mourning a death, where I am forced to confront the fragments of myself and painstakingly rebuild from the ground up. After a BPD breakup, I've not only lost a loved one, but I've also lost myself.
As children grow up, they eventually leave the family nest to pursue their dreams and aspirations, and that empty nest can encourage depression. Whether they go to college, explore the world, or start a new job, it may be a challenging and emotional step for parents. Therefore, by preparing for the empty nest chapter of life, parents can be proactive in not letting depression set in for an extended period. For me, the empty nest phase is creeping up quickly, and I am unprepared. 
Finding comfort in chaos has been a pattern for me and my unresolved trauma. Especially before I sought treatment for my childhood sexual assault, and often without realizing it, I would feel somewhat "addicted" to emotional pain. In other words, I felt most myself when there was some sort of conflict in my life, whether it was a physical health condition or a relationship issue. While I didn't actively want these things to be happening, I did find comfort in the chaos they stirred up.
While randomly browsing the Internet in 2015, I came across a powerful phrase: Be who you needed when you were younger. At the time, I was a recent college graduate who had no idea what to do with her life. As a result, the phrase seemed irrelevant to someone like me. However, knowing what I know now, I am convinced that anyone can live by this motto if they want to. You can be who you needed to be when you were younger.
Trauma splitting (a type of emotional detachment) can be a common side effect after facing verbal abuse. This coping mechanism can happen to individuals of any age. However, children with verbally abusive parents will often develop trauma splitting to separate their normal personality from the traumatized one. 
When I revert back to an anorexic mindset, it becomes all about earning my worth. Even if I resist the urge to act out eating disorder behaviors, I can still be susceptible to the anorexic mindset, which tells me I need to strive past my own limitations and prove that I am strong, capable, resilient, and valuable. I have a difficult time believing that my self-worth is inherent, so I force myself to achieve it—even if that means I hustle to the edge of burnout with no room to pause, breathe, and rest. An anorexic mindset is all about earning my worth, but l will be honest: This performance-based mentality creates a miserable existence at times.
One part of my treatment for schizoaffective disorder is an antianxiety medication I take as needed. I’ve been taking it for decades, but now my psychiatric nurse practitioner (NP) wants to ween me off of it. I have mixed feelings about this change in my schizoaffective treatment.
It's hard to deal with anxiety when you're going through change. Change can feel scary and unpredictable, and even more so when you are already feeling stress and pressure in other areas of life. This is something I have experienced recently. Over the years, this anxiety trigger has been something I have worked hard on learning how to cope with. Years ago, I would find that any time any major life changes occurred, I would feel extremely anxious.
Co-fronting with alternate personalities (alters) in dissociative identity disorder (DID) is something I only recently learned about. Sharing my mind with multiple identities, each with thoughts, feelings, and perspectives, lends itself to interesting conversations. These internal complexities can lead to co-fronting (when two or more alters are in control of the body at the same time) while significantly influencing how conversations unfold internally and externally, depending on the factors present at the time. 

Follow Us

advertisement

Most Popular

Comments

Ali
So I said I had memories of everything that has happened throughout my life i meant I remember all my trauma somewhat. I do not remember most of my life. I have some memories as a child, some when I was in elementary school, and most of my memories when I was in middle school, I barely remember stuff that has happened to me in highschool (which is right now) I understand my symptoms could be a whole variety of things not just DID, again I do not think I have DID I just have terrible memory, though one time my mom straightened my hair and I felt like I started acting like a whole different person lol.
Susan
I worry that there is invisible harm to self or others that is caused by the most innocent of actions I take. I feel sure that others will view this bizarre belief as delusional, but it feels real to me. I wish to stop all suffering; both my own and others. Sorry if I'm bad
Sophie
Was about to relapse into SH again after several years sober because of a few academic slipups that made me feel really awful and like I was a waste of space. For someone with quite a logical, rigid way of thinking, having these negative thought patterns challenged and argued in the same way was quite effective in stopping me. Thanks
A💓
dont do it trust me i still have scars from march this year and i hate them so much. theres so many better ways to cope other than self harm please dont do it everytime i look at my arm my heart just sinks i hate my scars so so much and now its summer so i have to wear short sleeves and i hate it. thats kind of it just talk to someone about how youre feeling ur not alone just dont resort to self harm. this is one of the biggest regrets ever.
No name
My girlfriend struggles with mental illness, BPD. She is currently going through a very low low. She’s a stay at home mom with my son (who she met when he was about 1 years old and he’s almost two and a half now). I believe things began getting bad when he reached the more difficult age (terrible two’s). I work a lot and long hours so she’s with him often. By the time I get home, I’m excited to be with them but she’s checked out for the day which affects me, even if I try to not let it. She sees it affects me (her negative mood) and feels guilty for it. I try to explain to her that we are both just struggling with stress and that I’m not upset at her personally but she’s having a very hard time. When I try to talk to her about her hard time, she says I don’t understand and I’m not helping. I’m not sure what I can do to try to understand her mental state because I’m the type to always look at the positive side of things and she looks at the negative sides of things so we have been clashing a lot lately.