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More than Borderline

When I was first diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), I felt incredibly isolated. I didn’t have any specialist help which meant that I turned to books and the internet to learn about the condition. The depth of the stigma that I discovered during my research was shocking, both from academic and more informal sources. I encountered psychology books that described people with the condition as manipulative, YouTube videos that depicted people with BPD as chainsaw-wielding monsters, and websites vilifying people with BPD who so much as dared to be in a relationship. 
This week I have been physically unwell while living with borderline personality disorder (BPD). I have a virus and it has really affected me emotionally. I have been low in energy and so have been unable to do my usual coping strategies. I have found that when I am physically ill, I feel really guilty for taking time off work and resting even though it is perfectly justified to do so.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is one of the most stigmatized mental health conditions, along with conditions such as schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder and other personality disorders. I have been discriminated against by healthcare professionals, struggled for years to talk openly due to stereotyping and see few compassionate representations of the condition in the media. There are three main myths about BPD and I will outline them here. 
I thought I would offer a snapshot of a day into my life with borderline personality disorder (BPD). This account is of a day when my BPD was neither calm nor at crisis level, but was moderate in strength. There is no such thing as a typical day in my life with borderline personality disorder due to the intense and quickly changing emotions associated with this condition.
Suicidal thoughts are a huge part of my life with borderline personality disorder. Even though I have them less frequently than I used to, they can still cause me a lot of distress. Here are my four tips for managing suicidal thoughts.
Going on vacation with borderline personality disorder can bring added challenges. A few years ago, when I was on vacation with my friend in France, I found myself crying on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night becoming increasingly distressed and desperate to be at home. I love going on vacation and being lucky enough to explore new places, but there are times when going away causes me additional challenges for managing my borderline personality disorder (BPD).  
If you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), you might relate to me when I describe my intense emotions as being on full volume. Rather than feeling a little sad or mildly happy, I tend to feel intense despair or ecstatic joy. Often when I feel an emotion, it's all-consuming as if the emotion has taken over me completely. 
What are borderline personality disorder (BPD) and my fear of abandonment like for me? Borderline personality disorder keeps abandonment on my mind. I have a long-term and near-constant fear that the people I love are going to stop loving me. This fear of abandonment caused by BPD makes me worry that my relationships could be lost at any given moment and stops me from relaxing because I feel relentlessly on edge.
My name is Rosie Cappuccino and I’m a writer, an artist, and the new "More than Borderline" blogger here at HealthyPlace. When I was first diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) five years ago, I felt isolated, frightened and confused about what this diagnosis meant for me. When I read up about the condition in books and online, I discovered that BPD is one of the most deeply stigmatized mental health conditions. It felt awful to be misunderstood and stereotyped as manipulative, attention-seeking and untreatable.
Am I grateful for my borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Yes. Years after my initial diagnosis, I can honestly say I am grateful to have received the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and for the life I've lived with both the difficult moments and the beautiful ones. It might seem counterintuitive, but there have been unexpected gifts of receiving a diagnosis of BPD. Today, as I close out one year since I started writing this blog, I wanted to share a few of the unexpected gifts of living with BPD and why I'm grateful for my borderline personality disorder.