Am I grateful for my borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Yes. Years after my initial diagnosis, I can honestly say I am grateful to have received the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and for the life I've lived with both the difficult moments and the beautiful ones. It might seem counterintuitive, but there have been unexpected gifts of receiving a diagnosis of BPD. Today, as I close out one year since I started writing this blog, I wanted to share a few of the unexpected gifts of living with BPD and why I'm grateful for my borderline personality disorder.
More Than Borderline
Dating with borderline personality disorder (BPD) may be difficult because BPD is marked by intense and stormy interpersonal relationships. It’s a part of the diagnostic criteria of BPD. In my own personal life, romantic relationships were often marked by drama and more drama. I brought drama and I attracted drama. So is it realistic for those of us with BPD to ever date again? Are we really capable of building healthy romantic relationships? With a little bit of work and commitment, I wholeheartedly believe this answer is yes. Whether or not we have BPD, we are human beings. And human beings are wired for relational connections, including romantic partnerships. Today, I’ll share some tips to keep in mind when dating with borderline personality disorder.
In the video below, I’ll talk about my experience of feelings of shame and borderline personality disorder, as well as some tips for coping with the shame within borderline personality disorder.
Learning how to cope with suicidal thoughts combined with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is extremely important. Suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, and self-harm behaviors are all a major part of the borderline diagnosis. I’ve written about suicidal thoughts and borderline personality disorder before, but today I’d like to focus on how to cope with suicidal thoughts in BPD and what to do when these thoughts arise. Today, I’ll share with you how I learned to self-soothe and cope with big feelings and suicidal thoughts in BPD. With Suicide Prevention Month almost behind us, I believe it is so important to open the conversation and dialogue about borderline personality disorder, coping with suicidal thoughts and suicide prevention. The stigma surrounding borderline personality disorder is real and so is the stigma surrounding suicidal thoughts.
Perfectionism isn’t something that is often associated with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Those of us with this diagnosis of BPD can often be perceived as out of control and chaotic, so what does that have to do with perfectionism? From my experience, there is a relationship between BPD and perfectionism that can impact all areas of our lives. Perfectionism crept into my body image, my personal relationships, and my academic and professional endeavors. It stems from the black-and-white thinking or "splitting" within borderline personality disorder. In the video below, I’ll share a little bit more about how BPD perfectionism has impacted my body image, relationships, and professional life.
I’ve been thinking about what makes a good borderline personality disorder (BPD) therapist lately. I feel very fortunate for the relationship I’ve built with my therapist while recovering from borderline personality disorder. Therapy hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve been fortunate to be paired up with some really wonderful therapists over the years. Something I've learned is this: not all therapists are equally equipped to work with BPD. Today, I have one of the healthiest, and most fun and dynamic relationships with my therapist I've ever had. I’ve been thinking: what traits does an effective borderline personality disorder therapist possess? What qualities set one BPD therapist apart from another?
I've experienced suicidal thoughts with borderline personality disorder (BPD), so I thought I'd share my experience and some facts about suicide and BPD. The topic of suicide has received a large amount of attention in the media as of late with celebrity suicides. With the death of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, it’s brought up old experiences and feelings about my own history as a woman living with borderline personality disorder. While I don’t feel this way today, I am no stranger to the feeling of not wanting to be alive. Self-harm, suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts are a part of living with borderline personality disorder. They are a distinguishing symptom when making this diagnosis. In the vein of opening up a conversation about suicide awareness, I’m going to share some important suicide facts and personal experience about suicidal thoughts and borderline personality disorder. Most importantly, I will share my hope.
Are you in a romantic relationship with someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD)? I want to acknowledge that handling conflict within relationships where one person may have borderline personality disorder can be a sensitive topic for many, especially when talking about romantic relationships. It’s a challenging topic for those living with the diagnosis and those in close proximity to us. For me, making relationships work with borderline personality disorder is not about blaming and pointing the finger. It’s about both parties learning to relate to one another in a way that is healthy, reciprocal, and loving. Today I’ll share a few suggestions in thinking about the conflict you may be having with your loved one with borderline and some tips in the video below for handling conflict within the context of BPD (Borderline Rage: What I Wish People Knew About BPD and Anger). I share just from my personal experience and what has worked for me.
What should you do if you think your loved one has borderline personality disorder (BPD)? As I write More than Borderline, I write it from different perspectives and with different life experiences. I write it as a young woman living with diagnosed borderline personality disorder. I also write it as a woman who has loved many with BPD and who has had friends, acquaintances, and loved ones throughout my life that have displayed BPD symptoms. It’s touched my life in numerous ways. Without help, I know it’s a challenge to live with it; I know it’s a challenge to love someone with it. It’s especially challenging when we live in a society that doesn’t talk about mental illness enough and loved ones can feel just as frustrated and hopeless. As I’ve been more public about my diagnosis, many loved ones of those with BPD have reached out to me with questions about what they can do. In the spirit of Mental Health Awareness Month, I’ll be breaking down some helpful considerations into a two-part post on loving someone with borderline personality disorder. So, what should you do if you think your loved one has BPD?