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“I won’t go to rehab. I said no, no, no!”
Amy Winehouse
This refrain has been spoken by many an addict for years. What is it about inpatient drug and alcohol rehabilitation that is so bad anyway? I mean, you’ve got three meals, a roof over your head, and the companionship of other addicts, all of whom are dealing with similar (but not the same) issues that you have. Who could want more?
This week is Mental Illness Awareness Week in Canada. (Mental Illness Awareness Week in the U.S. starts next week. Why the two countries couldn’t get together on this I’ll never know.) And in honour of this week, I thought I would feature the Mental Illness Awareness Week’s campaign – the Faces of Mental Illness.
The Faces of Mental Illness Focuses on real people with real mental illnesses who have faced the worst and still found recovery. If you’re looking for some hope, these are the people who will give it to you.
Picture this: A moment ago I was staring at the blank text field going "Ummm...Uhhh...Dammit!" And then I was coughing a rather nasty cough that lives deep inside my chest and scratches my throat. I slowly move my hand toward cough drops which have proved to be generally useless. I have a headache and realize the Tylenol is downstairs. I wonder if I can make it downstairs.
A box of tissues sit beside me where my notebooks usually are. I look up "how long does a cold last?" Apparently, seven to ten days. I am on day three. The website recommends chicken soup. I hate soup. I then type in, fingers moving rather slowly: "depression related to the common cold" although this does not feel common --I think I might be dying. But I am sort of dramatic with these things...
I'm done telling about how crappy I feel (insert sneeze here) but I have always felt I suffer from depression when I am sick. Am I alone in this?
Of course, we all want teachers to know how to explain basic math, geography and English skills to our children. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if they could also offer up some wisdom on what common psychiatric disorders consist of, and how kids can better educate themselves on how to deal with them? Both in themselves and in their classmates?
I recently participated in a wonderful panel called "Self-Stigma Solutions" alongside three people who live not only with mental illness but also with the mental health stigma that comes along for the ride - both external stigma and internal self-stigma. Each person shared the messages they heard, once diagnosed:
"your life is over"
"you'll never amount to anything now"
"you'll never have friends"
"you may as well just give up"
Psychiatric treatment is plagued by budget cuts and bed shortages. For example, Indianapolis has only seven beds for emergency psychiatric care for the indigent.
In this video, I talk about why federal and state budget cuts and bed shortages are harmful and even deadly to people with Borderline Personality Disorder and other mental illnesses.
Christie Stewart
If you pick up a book, or look up a website to read the facts about self-injury; you will often find that it is almost always linked to Borderline Personality Disorder. That's because people with BPD often act impulsively in a self-destructive way - generally through alcohol abuse, drug abuse, promiscuity, over spending and gambling or self-injury.
If you've survived a type of trauma and are now in some form of recovery from its effects, chances are you're movingatwarpspeed. You could probably win the Indie 500 with little to no practice just by sitting still.
Decisions, actions, behaviors, thoughts and emotions can all seem amped up when you live with anxiety, fear, panic and hypervigilance.
Addiction has been featured in the movies since the 1936 film "Reefer Madness." Many of these films serve as entertainment however there are those that can educate viewers as well. The key is that they can open a dialogue that can serve to break the stigma that surrounds addiction.
We have heard this before: Mental Illness is an invisible disability. But I beg to differ. When my world crashes and burns, when the winter steals away my stability and I am hiding within the walls of my home and cannot figure out how to eat or sleep, I'm pretty sure my mental illness is not invisible. In fact, I feel like I am wearing a large sign: "I have bipolar disorder and am currently depressed. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE." Mental illness disabilities aren't always invisible.
When living with severe depression, it is so difficult to see any positivity about ourselves or the world we live in. I have been in very similar shoes as you. However, nothing will change until we initiate a change, even if it means taking our cognitative distortions and untwisting them. Healing/recovery takes a lot of time and practice - it is a lifelong journey. Unfortunately, there's no magic wand out there to make everything better about ourselves and the world (if only...).
One thing that keeps me going is taking life ONE DAY AT A TIME. I wear a bracelet with those exact words to remind me when I start down a dark road. One day at a time... because that is all I can expect of myself, and it's all that others can expect of me. I know it sounds cliche, but you genuinely are not alone or alone in how you feel.
Also, check out the resources and assistance at https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/suicide/suicide-suicidal-thoughts-and-behaviors-toc
We continued talking and I learned a lot more. His husband had cheated on him and he was heartbroken. They live in the same condo in separate bedrooms and were basically married on paper only. Since I was already developing feelings for him, I allowed our relationship to continue. We’ve since spent a lot of time together on dates, he met my family at Christmas, etc.
In January, we chatted and I said, “Ok, what’s the plan?” and he freaked out. While he says he loves me, and does not love his husband, he’s stuck and doesn’t know how to move forward. His therapist says he needs to go to the doctor for new meds and hasn’t. And now it’s been three months of basic texting good morning and good night, and we don’t see each other and don’t talk on the phone.
Do I just move on at this point? Every time I try to talk about us and our relationship, he just shuts down or doesn’t respond.
Help! Thanks.