Blogs
Stigma: a fallacy based on preconceived notions. I am going to go out on a limb here: Everyone at some point in his or her life has experienced stigma. Maybe because we have a lisp, a limp, maybe due to a physical impairment or maybe due to socioeconomic status. Stigma is nearly always directed at something we are unable to fully control.
Paul made an appointment with me and arrived with a concern: “My wife keeps telling me I have ADHD because I am always misplacing things, forgetting what she says, and running late - even to work. But I have never been hyperactive, so can she still be right?”
A week later, I met Jennifer upset with what her doctor had told her. “He said I have ADHD, but I know I don’t! I am very low energy, and my biggest problem is procrastination. I have ADD, not ADHD.”
Is it ADHD? Is it ADD? What’s the difference?
Do you ever feel as if you're not good enough?
Do you ever wake up at night and think, If others really knew me...
Do you ever walk around looking at others, knowing they are better/smarter/more beautiful than you?
Yes.
Have you seen those posters or t-shirts that read: “I Can’t Stay Calm Because I Have Anxiety”? They’re a play off the trendy t-shirts, posters and other items with the royal crown and the directive to “keep calm and…”.
As those of us who experience any form of anxiety are aware, merely reading a sign that tells us to "keep calm" is too simple—easier said than done. On the other hand, don’t believe “I Can’t Keep Calm Because I Have Anxiety.” It’s just not true!
For children of all ages, Halloween is a time when vampires, zombies, murderers, psychopaths, the undead, succubae, and other creatures of the night roam far and wide across the landscape, terrorizing young and old and demanding food in exchange for safety from unpleasant tricks, rather like a Mafia protection scheme.
But the American public is difficult to shock since it subsists on a steady diet of horrifying fare including political ineptitude, reality TV, and social media, in itself a swamp of deception, intrigue, and awesome-sauce. Hollywood contributes to this atmosphere of doom, fear, paranoia, dread, terror, angst, despair, misery, alienation, and fin de siècle ennui by churning out an almost endless supply of apocalyptic dystopian love songs featuring all manner of dark vision. The result is a jaded populace.
How can you learn to like yourself? Get easy tools to start liking yourself, even loving your body and mind, to build a positive sense of self.
I'm here to tell you that trauma affects your brain. Even so, have you ever had someone say to you any of these things:
"PTSD isn't real; it's all in your head"
"Just get over it already!"
"Only veterans get PTSD"?
I speak all over the country about PTSD symptoms. Mostly, these audiences are comprised of civilians: survivors, caregivers and healing professionals. Sometimes, too, there are people who have no PTSD connection but have been invited to hear the presentation. Inevitably, whether it's before the presentation has started or after it has finished someone addresses me to say some variation of one of those three things (on a really awful day, all three!).
Why don't people "get" what it means to struggle with PTSD? Why can't they understand that trauma affects the brain as well as the mind?
All self-harmers know that they are professionals when it comes to lying about self-injury scars (Explaining Self-Injury Scars to Others). The first time I made up a story was when a student asked me about the cut on my forearm before Chorale practice. I rolled my eyes and told her a story about how I’d tried to balance my cat on my arm and it hadn’t worked out too well. After that lie had been said, I remembered how she’d been around my cats before and she may have realized they had been de-clawed.
An unexpected break-up, past criticisms, the calorie intake in a meal, the amount of money sitting in a bank... These are all examples of everyday topics that often result in consuming, repetitive and persistent thoughts. Why do we develop obsessive thought patterns and how can we free ourselves from them?
I'll be honest, I'm a little worried about my neighbors. I live in an apartment complex for adults with severe mental illness; it's one step above a group home. This leads to some quite strange interactions, which raise the question of "When does the right to privacy hurt?"
My point being, I'm right there with you. I hate the rollercoaster. I just want to live life without being in a state of constant fight or flight mode, only for his character to change and de-escalate and I fall for the person I fell for all over again.
Exhausting is a horrible word. The understatement of all understatements, if you will.
I wish there were better support groups for this kind of mental health condition.