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Many individuals, including myself, can take notice of subtleties later when they are no longer the object of verbal abuse. It shocks me as I look back and replay many of these instances in my head. There were several reasons why, however, I never recognized it as abusive, which led me to remain in the same situation for years.
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is the first major mood disorder I suffered from as a kid. However, I did develop early symptoms of bipolar disorder as a teen as well, and that later led to schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is a very extreme form of what is commonly known as premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Untreated, I don’t have minor bouts of irritability or sadness during my period--I have full-on depression accompanied by suicidal thoughts. The way I treat my PMDD is with birth control pills.
We all experience cycles or patterns of behavior that we want to change. Those of us who have experienced binge eating disorder (BED), or eating disorders in general, know the pain and frustration that is felt when you are trapped in a cycle of disordered, destructive eating. It is especially frustrating when you try to recover and leave behind your old cycles and patterns and you realize you're still stuck in a binge eating cycle.
I didn't get a say in my birth. My mother and father took the executive decision to procreate without my input, and I landed on the scene in the April of 1985 before I could register any objections. Upon my arrival, the doctors deduced a few things: I was a boy. I was healthy. And, given the amount of wailing and thrashing, I appeared mildly inconvenienced by this whole birth scenario. For nearly 32 years after that, the doctors didn't miss much--except to diagnose me with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Before I knew anything about borderline personality disorder (BPD) or antidepressants, I knew that pharmaceutical drugs were bad. Or, at least that's what I was told growing up. I learned from a young age not to trust therapists or doctors. Doctors wanted to poison your body, and therapists wanted to poison your mind. Why would I think that? Well, because then it would be easier for them to control you.
Something I have found about having chronic anxiety is that this often leads to avoiding triggers, which includes avoiding conflict. For example, you might find it difficult to set boundaries in a relationship, or you might find that you've been putting off having a difficult conversation with your supervisor at work. For me, this might look like walking away from arguments or being as diplomatic as possible in an interaction with someone to avoid some sort of conflict.
Many individuals are familiar with the fight, flight, freeze, or appease response to trauma. However, one thing I have learned after years of exposure to verbal abuse is that this automatic response can lead to detrimental procrastination in other areas of my life. 
I'll admit, it's difficult sometimes to separate a discussion of mental health from a discussion of race. It's difficult to separate a discussion of anything from a discussion of race, for that matter. During my mental health journey, while adapting to the nuances of navigating my illness, it was not lost on me that race itself was another nuance to navigate. This is just one example of a very long list of factors that felt completely out of my control. Although difficult to accept, realizing that I couldn't fix everything opened me up to more healing and more peace throughout my mental health journey. I realized I didn't have to feel guilty for compartmentalizing race and my mental health. This can be applied to any factor that may feel out of your control and cause added strain on your pursuit of mental wellness. It's okay to let go and prioritize yourself.
It's important, for a variety of reasons, to keep in touch with the events of the world around you. But what do you do when the news triggers your self-harm urges?
It's been over a year since I said goodbye to my sweet pup, Cannelle, a cocker spaniel. I adopted her when she was 18 months old and was blessed to have her by my side for 13 years. Throughout that time, Cannelle helped me in ways that she, of course, could not comprehend. My pup helped me through bouts of mental illness, among other things.

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Michelle
I'm shocked AND elated to hear of such a service being offered as an Assistant Shopper! .. I'm literally a dizzy & fragmented mess during and after grocery store trips. My head spins with the combination of way too much motion around me, far too many items invading my focus when attempting to locate things on my list. The bright lights, the store music and intercom announcements, trying to learn the deli ordering 'technology' had me standing there in tears one day (when finally some lovely customer very patiently helped me through the process). I have CPTSD and brain injury, significant hearing loss in left ear and my eyes don't work well together. I wear glasses for reading and have to put them on/take them off during the entire shopping experience. The migraines that come on and disorientation that ensues, even on a good day, can shred the week sending me to the ER or straight to bed when I get home. I drive with both hands on the wheel and try to maintain a fixed gaze on the road en-route home but obviously still have unloading and storage of groceries ahead of me. Recently, I asked for help from an employee in locating an item. After we'd spent about 10 minutes looking together I asked another passing employee for her assistance.. She said, "He can help you just as well as I can!" as though I had a personal problem with my first 'helper'. I then had to explain that he couldn't locate it either and that I'm certain the store carries heavy cream. Emotionally, trips to the grocery store can take days to recuperate from. I like my therapist and feel as though the frustrated pitch of my voice in our sessions has calmed over time. Most people aren't skilled in dealing with folks with disabilities nor do they know how to even recognize a struggling individual or want to intrude on the space of another, especially if they appear to Need some space. Overwhelming is a word that only touches on the actual experience of individuals with CPTSD and other disorders. I'm going to check with my regular store today to see if they offer Assistant Shoppers. Thank you, Rob, for speaking of your experience.
Jim H
I'm sure the numbers are higher.I live in upstate N.Y. in one of the cloudiest cities and every year I am affected.This year's weather has been really good so far and I still have it....
Gem
My daughter get allowances, sweets and still steals them. All the positive can be blown with her lies and stealing. We are completely at a loss until she is medicated.
Sara
Well THIS IS MY SON AND ME ALL THE WAY! It is getting to be so bad even at school. He gets to where he will not even follow along in school. It is also becoming a major disrespect thing on our household. I need any and all, advice I can get! Thanks in advance.
Leatha
This was me except I was driving and had to pull over for my husband to drive!