Learning how to discipline a teenager with depression is an important way to support your teen and help them through their illness. When a teenager experiences prolonged sadness, a loss of energy and motivation, withdrawal and isolation, and other symptoms of depression, you as their parent might want to do everything you can to make them better. You might even want to stop holding them accountable for responsibilities and behaviors; however, your child needs this accountability to grow and begin to overcome depression. The question isn’t whether or not to discipline but instead is how should you discipline a depressed teenager.  Read on to explore discipline for a teen with depression.

How to Discipline a Depressed Teenager: Healthy Discipline Tips

Depression or not, your teen is still a teen and needs discipline. Discipline means teaching and thus should be positive ("Do You Really Know How to Discipline Your Child?"). While this is true for all children and teenagers, it’s especially so for those living with depression. You can teach them your expectations for behavior and consequences for breaking those expectations, gently guiding them with depression-friendly discipline. Use these tips to begin:

• Establish healthy rules. Having expectations for your teenager is crucial even if they’re depressed. Avoid overwhelming your teen by choosing a few straightforward rules. Consider including depression-centered rules such as requiring that your teen practice good hygiene and placing time limits on using electronics (if the only thing they want to do is lie around playing video games).
• Require some physical activity. Exercise and movement are essential for overcoming depression, but the illness makes doing so feel impossible. Help your teen by requiring daily movement such as a walk, bike ride, or anything your teenager enjoys (or used to enjoy).
• Provide structure. Depression makes it hard for teens to plan and engage in activities, so create a simple schedule that provides some structure. Known as behavioral activation, you and your teen can write in healthy activities, homework, chores, and time for them to kick back and play video games or use other electronic devices.
• Give your teen chores. Give them a few chores so they can help around the house. Let them feel like part of the family and allow them to feel good for doing things—even if they grumble and protest.

Ways to Discipline a Teenager with Depression

How to discipline a teenager with depression involves having gentle expectations with clear and logical consequences. Trying to punish a depressed teen can be a disaster because the harsh and illogical consequences usually intensify withdrawal, isolation, and negative thoughts and emotions.

Avoid punishing, but do discipline—hold your teen accountable for their behaviors. It’s important to concentrate on a behavior rather than on your teen’s emotions. Because of their depression, your teen is extra sensitive. Let them know that it’s okay for them to feel what they feel and that they’re not a bad kid for having depression. When they step out of line like any other teenager, do use consequences that you already have in place.

For example, if your teenager chooses not to follow your rule requiring everyone in the family to work together to clean up after dinner, that teenager needs a consequence. Make it short-term to avoid them losing motivation to make a change. Perhaps they lose electronic privileges for the rest of the evening but not for 24 hours. Avoid consequences that can worsen their symptoms, such as sending them to their room; in this case, you want to decrease isolation, not reinforce it.

Sometimes, depression causes teens to have emotional meltdowns. They become upset, and their negative emotions become overwhelming and spill over into the teen equivalent of a toddler’s tantrum. If they have a meltdown because they don’t want to do something you have asked them to do, it’s important not to give in. Allow them to experience the emotions, and then calmly restate what they need to do, such as take a shower or go to school. Give them a consequence if they still refuse.

When you learn how to discipline a depressed teenager, you’ll be able to help shape them into a teen with character and a sense of responsibility. Even better, the structure, rules, and consequences you provide play a part in reducing their illness. You are supportively requiring that they take small steps every day that move them further and further past their depression.

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Emotional and behavioral disorders are so disruptive that parents and others frequently want to know what causes them. When a child or adolescent consistently has intense emotional or physical outbursts, their relationships and learning suffer. Adults and other children and teens are also negatively affected by the eruptions of feelings and problem behaviors. Unfortunately for parents and other adults in the child’s life, the causes of emotional and behavioral disorders (sometimes abbreviated ED, BD, and/or E/BD) are still largely unknown or not well understood. Theories are being developed and studied though, and some have emerged that appear to be sound causes of these difficult disorders.

As psychological researchers have studied patterns of behavior and emotional dysfunction, they’ve discovered that the causes of emotional and behavioral disorders fall into different groups. Six categories are at the source of disorders of behavior and emotion:

• Biological
• Developmental
• Home environment-related
• Learned

While there is no single cause of emotional and behavioral disorders, there are factors at work that contribute to the unwanted actions and expression of feelings.

Biological Causes of Emotional and Behavioral Disorders

Biological causes originate within the child or teen. The brain is often the root source of the development of E/BD. Sometimes there’s a chemical imbalance. Other times, brain development is affected. Sometimes, too, brain injury leads to problems in the emotional center of the brain. Experiencing trauma, with or without a diagnosis of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), negatively affects brain processing and can lead to emotional and behavior problems.

Sometimes, problems with a mother’s pregnancy and delivery can cause damage to an unborn or newborn baby. These difficulties can contribute to future emotional and behavioral disorders. Additionally, if a child’s mother used drugs or alcohol during pregnancy, the child is at increased risk of many physical- and mental health problems, including emotional and behavioral disorders.

Illness is a suspected cause of E/BD. Illnesses or physical disability have been shown to cause or contribute to disturbances in behavior and emotion. While not an illness, malnourishment has been implicated in these disorders, too.

Genetics, it seems, also plays a part in the development of E/BD, although the exact link remains unclear. Perhaps relating to genetics is personality. A child’s ingrained temperament can predispose them to emotional and behavioral problems and disorders if other circumstances are present.

Developmental Causes of Emotional and Behavioral Disorders

Development refers to the lifelong process of changing and maturing. Every stage of life has tasks that must be completed successfully for mental health and life satisfaction. When a child’s development is disrupted and problematic, there can be negative consequences for mental health and cognitive growth.

Emotional and developmental disorders can spring from these developmental causes:

• Attachment problems, either lack of positive attachment to the primary caregiver or overattachment leading to clinginess and difficulties separating from the caregiver
• A failure to develop trust during infancy and early toddlerhood, resulting in fear and mistrust
• Inability to experience some autonomy and instead internalize a sense of shame for exploring
• Thwarted attempts to show initiative and instead made to feel guilty for wanting to try new things
• Failure to experience a sense of competence, which leads to feelings of inferiority, during the elementary years

When kids don’t experience success at any one of these developmental tasks, their risk of developing E/BD increases, and the more developmental problems a child has, the greater the risk for E/BD.

Causes of Emotional and Behavioral Disorders: Home Life

Parents are vital in the healthy development of their children. Some aspects of parenting or the home environment can contribute to emotional and behavioral disorders. These include:

• Significant, chronic stress in the home
• Lack of structure
• Authoritarian parenting style with rigid, excessive rules and punishments
• Permissive parenting with few if any expectations, limits, or establishment of acceptable behaviors
• Inconsistent expectations and discipline
• Disinterested, distant parents
• Abuse
• Violence and general dysfunction in the home
• More negative than positive interactions in the home

Creating and maintaining a healthy, positive, loving environment is healthy for everyone in the home. Most communities have parenting programs to help parents and kids thrive.

See also How Your Parenting Style Can Affect Your Child’s Mental Health

Learned Behavior: A Cause of Emotional and Behavior Disorders

Sometimes, there are no underlying biological or developmental causes of emotional and behavioral disorders. Instead, children learn that outbursts get them what they want and need—attention from the adults in their lives. Ways they learn this include:

• High levels of negativity and pessimism modeled in the home
• Associating punishment for behavior problems with receiving more attention
• Realizing that acting out is the only way to receive a response from parents or teachers

Multiple factors are potential causes of emotional and behavioral disorders. Knowing how biology, development, and parenting and the home environment contribute to E/BD will help you take measures to give your kids positive experiences from birth (or prenatally) through the child and teen years.

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It can seem that there is no way to discipline ungrateful, spoiled children. Kids that act ungrateful or spoiled seem out of control and unteachable. Having a self-centered, demanding, unsatisfied child is exhausting and frustrating. There is hope. It’s possible to teach kids new attitudes and behaviors. Keep reading to learn how to discipline a spoiled, ungrateful child.

How to Discipline an Ungrateful, Spoiled Child: Know How They Got This Way

Spoiled kids believe that the world and everyone in it revolves around them. They feel that they have the right to have what they want when they want it, and the needs of others aren’t as important as their own. This sense of entitlement doesn’t develop overnight. It’s a process that happens over time and is born out of usually well-meaning parenting styles.

Use this checklist to see if any of these culprits underlying self-indulgent behavior fit your household:

• Giving your child too much, buying them things they want because you like to see them happy (plus you don’t want to make a scene at the store)
• Over-nurturing your child by protecting them from all things they find unpleasant—parents might do their child’s homework, allow them to skip doing anything they don’t like, prepare special meals, and more
• Providing too little structure, routines, limits, and expectations
• Giving in to kids without making them do things to earn their privileges

The purpose of knowing how spoiled children develop is not to assess blame; again, most parents who use the above practices are well-meaning. Identifying contributing factors allows you to begin eliminating them.

How to Discipline a Child Who Is Spoiled or Ungrateful

Disciplining your child when they are accustomed to having everything go their way requires patience and consistency. When you begin to discipline, your child will very likely act out more than they already do if they don’t get their way. That’s okay. It’s part of the discipline, or teaching, process. Your child has a lot to un-learn and re-learn.

Use these discipline strategies to help your kids change their behavior to a more effective approach to their life:

• Set simple and clear limits, rules, and consequences. Make sure your child knows what they are.
• Be consistent. Always follow through with your established consequences so your child learns that you’re serious.  
• Encourage and reinforce their positive behavior; catch them behaving in a non-entitled way.
• Increase their awareness of their ungrateful behavior or words by gently pointing out what you observed. Kids need to learn what it means to act spoiled or ungrateful so they can replace negative behaviors with different ones.
• Avoid shaming or name-calling. Telling your child they’re a spoiled brat will only make them identify with the label and try to live up to what you think of them.
• Separate your child from their behavior. They are acting spoiled. They aren’t spoiled at their core.

Throughout the process, stay calm. Losing your temper is like having a tantrum and makes you seem spoiled to your child. Discipline is about helping your child learn better behavior, so model calm, rational conduct. When you’re calm, your child is much more likely to cooperate as you begin the next step in disciplining an ungrateful child.

To Discipline Ungrateful, Spoiled Children, Show Them New Behaviors

As you set and enforce limits and your child’s poor behavior begins to lessen, you can begin to replace spoiled behavior with something more desirable. This is done with both perspective and action.

Even more important than reducing what you don’t want is teaching grateful, unselfish behavior. Help them shift their perspective from what they think they deserve to what they can give or do for others.

Do things with your child that teach kindness and positive action. Together, help a housebound neighbor. Make a meal together for someone who could use some help. You and your child might volunteer your time and talents somewhere in your community. Also, talk about kindness with your child. Ask them about the kind things they do at school.

Fostering gratitude reverses ungrateful behavior and outlook. At dinner each night, have everyone share one thing they’re grateful for that day. Have a family gratitude “wall,” a marker board set up for family members to write about or draw things for which they’re grateful.

Teach empathy. Kids don’t instinctively know how their words and attitude affect others. Talk about how others might have felt in response to your child’s unkind words or selfish behavior. You can even use characters in TV shows or books as empathy-teaching tools.

While there are no quick fixes, there are ways to discipline ungrateful, spoiled children. Be calm, consistent, and view the process not as punishing away bad behavior but as teaching positive behavior that builds character.

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While there is much still to learn about the complex problems of bullying and suicide in youth, what is clear is that acts of bullying and suicide are linked.

What Are Bullying and Cyberbullying?

According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)), "Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose."

Bullying can happen in-person or bullying can happen via technology which is known as cyberbullying. Cyberbullying can be just as devastating as in-person bullying. Bullying and cyberbullying are known to negatively impact mental health and general wellbeing long-term. This is true for those who bully, those who are the targets of bullies and even bystanders.

The Link Between Bullying and Suicide

We know that bullying behavior (both by the bully and target) is linked to suicidal behavior, be it attempts, ideations or completions. This means that youth involved in bullying are more likely to report suicidal behavior than those who aren't. It is important to note, though, that we do not know that bullying causes suicidal behavior and most people involved in bullying do not engage in suicide-related behavior.

Bullying Suicide Statistics

According to a study out of Yale University, victims of bullying are 7-9% more likely to consider suicide than those who are not bullied and studies out of Britain have shown that half of all suicides among youth are related to bullying.

According to NoBullying.org, 81% of teens admit that bullying is easier to get away with online and about 20% of kids who are cyberbullied think about suicide.

Bullying Suicide Story

Many cases of bullying and suicide or cyberbullying and suicide have led to national or even international attention. The Ryan Halligen bullying suicide story was one such case:

. . . early concerns about Ryan's speech, language and motor skills development led to him receiving special education services from pre-school through the fourth grade. Ryan's academic and physical struggles made him the regular target of a particular bully at school between the fifth and seventh grade. In February 2003, a fight between Ryan and the bully not only ended the harassment at school, but led to a supposed friendship.

However, after Ryan shared an embarrassing personal story, the newly found friend returned to being a bully and used the information to start a rumor that Ryan was gay. The taunting continued into the summer of 2003, although Ryan thought that he had struck a friendship with a pretty, popular girl through AOL Instant Messenger (AIM). Instead, he later learned that the girl and her friends thought it would be funny to make Ryan think the girl liked him and use it to have him share more personally embarrassing material—which was copied and pasted into AIM exchanges with her friends.

On October 7, 2003, Ryan hanged himself in the family bathroom. After his son's death, John discovered a folder filled with IM exchanges throughout that summer that made him realize "that technology was being utilized as weapons far more effective and reaching [than] the simple ones we had as kids."

What To Do About Bullying, Cyberbullying and Suicide

According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, research shows there are things that can protect teens against bullying and suicide:

• Youth who feel connected to their school are less likely to engage in suicide-related behaviors.
• Youth who are able to cope with problems in healthy ways and solve problems peacefully are less likely to engage in suicide and bullying-related behaviors.
• Youth with disabilities, learning differences, sexual/gender identity differences or cultural differences are often most vulnerable to being bullied. Teaching youth to accept differences can go a long way to stop the bullying of these groups.

Parents, schools, and teachers can use the research to guide policy and better help youth with connectedness, inclusiveness and peaceful problem-solving skills.

• Suicide Hotline Phone Numbers
• Reasons People Call a Suicide Crisis Hotline
• Suicide Hotline: What Happens When You Call?
• How Does a Suicide Prevention Hotline Prevent Suicide?
• Suicide Prevention Chat: How Does it Work?
• Suicide Chat Hotline Options
• Suicide Help Chat: A Viable Option to Calling a Crisis Line?
• How to Become a Suicide Hotline Volunteer
• How to Help the Suicidal Person
• How to Talk to a Suicidal Person
• Is Talking About Suicide with a Suicidal Person Dangerous?
• Suicide Facts, Suicide Statistics, Teen Suicide Statistics
• Effects of Suicide on Family Members, Loved Ones
• Effects of Suicide on Family Members, Loved Ones
• Suicide: Family Members’ Grief and Loss

Parenting 101. It’s a compilation of basic but not always obvious information to help you navigate the unknown territory of parenting. Brand-new parents, as well as veteran parents alike, could benefit from some Parenting 101 tips and insights, for each new stage has new roads to travel. Consider this a map to help you explore all that you must know about raising kids.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” (Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.) This paradox captures the essence of parenting. It can be wonderful, and it can be miserable. That’s why knowing these things about raising kids can help you embrace the best times and make it through the worst times ("Common Parenting Issues and How To Deal with Them").

Parenting 101 Tip: Foster Love and Relationships

At the forefront of everything you do as a parent is your relationship with your child(ren). All that you will do—even addressing the unpleasant, stressful problems—is ultimately about nurturing that relationship. In fact, it’s been said that 90 percent of the interactions you have with your child should be about connecting so that your child can accept the other 10 percent that involves correcting (Shaw, 2015).

These tips can help you foster loving relationships with your kids:

• Give care and respect. Treat kids the way you want them to treat others.
• Spend dedicated one-on-one time with each child daily. Even 10-15 minutes is enough, just make sure that phones and other distractions are removed.
• Listen fully to your kids. Pay attention to what they’re saying. Make eye contact. When they feel heard and respected, they are more prone to listen to and respect you.
• Express your love with words and hugs.

Know This about Raising Kids: Set Goals

An important goal of parenting is to prepare your child for independence. The years of parenting a child and teen is a process that allows you to foster that independence. When you know where you’re going and why the process goes more smoothly than it would without guiding goals.

Another common goal is to teach kids how to regulate and discipline themselves. These Parenting 101 tips can help you develop your own goals that fit you, your life, and your family:

• With your partner, list what is important to you for your kids. Education? Music? Sports? Religion or spirituality? Volunteerism? The list is seemingly endless. Narrow your list to a few dominant goals, reasons why you want to do what you do, and let them be a guide as you raise your kids.
• Use your goals when establishing routines.
• Design your actions, discipline, and interactions with your kids around these goals.
• Be a role model, acting and talking in ways that speak to the values you want to pass along to your kids.

Helping Kids Thrive: Discipline and Beyond

It’s not uncommon for people to assume that discipline means such things as establishing order or bringing kids under control. Many even think of it as punishment. However, discipline is really about teaching. Some Parenting 101 tips about discipline:

• Teach your kids what you want them to know about their behavior by modeling that behavior yourself.
• Talk with them calmly and gently.
• Avoid yelling, spanking, or threatening, as these inspire fear, and kids tune out this type of approach.
• Be firm; when you mention a consequence, stick with it.
• Be fair; the consequence should fit the crime.
• Catch kids being good and tell them.
• Know what consequences you want your child to face and communicate them.
• Be consistent; set rules and limits, and follow through every time to teach your child that home life is stable and predictable.
• A helpful message to send to kids to nurture your relationship while teaching proper behavior is, “I love you unconditionally, but I don’t love what you did.”

Disciplining—teaching—kids helps them thrive. So, too, do you and what you do. Here are some more important things to know about raising kids:

• Give your kids simple choices, as choices build decision-making skills.
• Let kids play and be goofy. Be goofy with them.
• Laugh together every day.
• Set aside time to do something fun.
• Read to your kids; read with them when they’re older.
• Get outside together.
• Foster a love of learning.
• Create opportunities for your kids to socialize (play dates, classes, etc.)
• Let them develop their imagination with pretend play and free play.
• Give kids space and opportunity for creative floundering. As they engage in creative activities and become frustrated, let them work through it themselves to build problem-solving skills and a sense of accomplishment.

A final Parenting 101 tip: Give yourself leeway to creatively flounder, too. You will experience parenting fails because parenting is both a wonderful and frustrating process. Reach out to parenting resources when you need help. Be true to your goals and values, love your kids, yourself, and your partner, and enjoy both the best of times and the worst of times.

article references

How a parent or adult responds to a child's disclosure of being sexually abused will have a huge impact on that child. Learn more.

At the time of your child's disclosure of sexual abuse, your reaction will play a very large part in how your child and family cope and heal from the sexual abuse.

The most important helpful reaction is to believe and acknowledge your child's experience. Your child will learn from you as a parent and from other significant adults about the meaning of the sexual abuse experience.

For a young child, the most harmful reaction that a parent(s) can give is verbal disbelief and punishment for the disclosure. Verbally expressed disbelief teaches a child that their internal sense of right and wrong cannot to be trusted. When punishment occurs, children learn the consequence for disclosure is a negative reaction.

In general, sexually abused children recant disclosures and information when they feel that what they have said is not accepted or heard by significant adults. In particular, with incest cases, disbelief expressed by the non-offending parent can feel like pressure to a child to recant their disclosure.

Children may also recant disclosures for the following reasons: their perpetrator denies the disclosure; they are repeatedly questioned by child welfare authorities such as law enforcement, child protection workers, doctors and others in our legal system; and finally, when disbelief is expressed by other significant adults, such as teachers or family members, such as siblings.

As a parent(s) you may find it necessary to reduce further stress by limiting your child's contact with others who are not supportive or believing of the sexual abuse.

Once you tell your child that you believe them, it will be important to show them by giving support and reassurance. Being able to give your child support helps validate their perception of the sexual abuse situation. Two ways of verbally providing reassurance are to tell your child that you are sorry about what happened and to make a statement that it was not okay for the perpetrator to touch them in the way they did. Some children will benefit from reassurances that they will be protected from the perpetrator.

A word of CAUTION: if you cannot protect your child from future contacts with the perpetrator, such as often occurs in disputed incest and custody cases, do not give false reassurances. Failure to keep promises of protection will contribute to your child's feelings of helplessness. Another way of providing reassurance is to be available to talk when it appears as though your child may need it the most, for example, prior to stressful transitions such as change in day care or at bedtime.

Talking with your child in a matter of fact, calm voice helps your child feel that you are in control and that you can help them survive their experience. Reactions of shock, such as, "you'll never be the same," reinforces feelings of difference and damage. Highly emotional reactions such as revenge and extreme anger can increase your child's fear and worry. Young children tend to feel responsible for parental reactions and feelings. It is harmful to show your child that you are in a great deal of distress from their disclosure. Your child needs to know that you can survive the sexual abuse experience with him/her.

Children who feel responsible for causing sexual abuse will suffer a more negative impact on the experience. As a parent, you can lessen your child's burden of disclosure and feelings of responsibility for causing the sexual abuse. You can tell your child that it was not his/her fault and that it took a lot of courage to tell.

Parental reactions such as, "how could this happen", questions such as, "why didn't you tell me sooner" or "why didn't you tell me", can unintentionally intensify feelings of blame.

When parents indirectly or directly blame their child for causing the abuse, they are in effect excusing the perpetrator. Perpetrators are solely responsible for the sexual abuse of a child.

Parents can have the tendency to want to lessen their child's hurtful/painful feelings by minimizing the seriousness of the situation or event. Sexually abused children need to have acceptance of their feelings whatever they are. Empathy with your child's feelings shows acceptance and validates that you are listening.

It will be important that you resist the urge to treat your child differently. Should you begin to do so he/she may further believe that they are somehow damaged and different because of the sexual abuse. Parental reactions of guilt, such as, "I should have known", can lead to overprotection. Overprotection can send the message that your child will not recover from his/her experience. Keeping daily routines and reducing changes can be comforting for your child.

When a disclosure is made a report to law enforcement or child protection usually follows. It is helpful to reassure your child about the involvement of these professionals in your life. For example statements such as, "other adults will help us" or "we need to find other adults to help us" or acknowledging that you don't have an answer but stating, "I will find someone who will answer that question", can be reassuring to a child.

Sources:

• Dane County Commission on Sensitive Crimes

"Conflict between parents may have distinct meanings and implications for the child and family system even after considering the effects of parenting difficulties."

(February 12, 2006) - Six-year-olds whose parents displayed frequent disagreements in their relationship responded to subsequent parental conflicts with elevated distress and negative thoughts, according to a team of researchers from the University of Rochester and the University of Notre Dame.

In the latest issue of the journal Child Development, the team reported examining 223 children twice during a one-year period for their reactions to conflicts between their parents. First, their mothers and fathers participated alone in an exercise in which they attempted to manage and resolve a common point of disagreement. The researchers rated the parents' level of hostility or indifference to capture the characteristic ways that parents managed their conflicts. Then the children observed their parents working through two simulated telephone conversations: a short conflict and a resolution.

Researchers found that the ways parents managed conflicts in the exercise predicted how children responded to the simulated phone conflict both within a two-week period and one year later. Parents who displayed high levels of discord had children who responded with greater than expected distress to the simulated phone conflict.

"The stressfulness of witnessing several different types of conflict may have long-term implications for children's functioning by directly altering their patterns of responding to those conflicts," says Patrick T. Davies, lead author and professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. "Our results highlight the possibility that several different types of conflict between parents may negatively affect the well-being of children over time," he says.

According to the authors, prior experiences with parental conflicts can alter the way children cope with later conflicts. "Conflict between parents may have distinct meanings and implications for the child and family system even after considering the effects of parenting difficulties," Davies points out.

Although previous work has shown that children don't get used to their parents discord but, instead, become more sensitive to it, Davies and his colleagues wondered if different forms of destructive conflict between parents played different roles in children's reactions. It didn't matter whether the adults disagreed in openly hostile ways or appeared indifferent during the arguments. Both ways of managing conflict were linked with higher than expected distress in children that lasted even one year later.

The primary purpose of the study was to chart stability and change in children's responses to a conflict in the context of interparental and family interactions in the early elementary years. The authors believe that the study lays the foundation for new testing on how children adapt when dealing with interparental conflict.

What is Parenting? What Does It Mean to be a Parent?

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Parenting 101: What You Must Know about Raising Kids

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Do Mom and Dad Still Have Differing Parental Roles?

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Dual role of parents, the: providing nurture and structure. (n.d.). The Center For Parenting Education. Retrieved May 2019 from https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/discipline-topics/role-of-parents/

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What Are Parental Rights and Responsibilities?

Anderson, J. (2013). Roles, responsibilities, and rights of parents. American College of Pediatricians. Retrieved May, 2019 from https://www.acpeds.org/the-college-speaks/position-statements/parenting-issues/the-roles-responsibilities-and-rights-of-parents

Bean, S. (n.d.). Parenting responsibilities: 10 things you are (and aren’t) responsible for as a parent. EmpoweringParents.com. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/parenting-responsibilities-10-things-you-are-and-parent-responsible-for-as-a-parent/

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What is Good Parenting?

Clark, L. (2012). Good parenting is more important than good schooling in determining your child’s academic success. Daily Mail. Retrieved May 2012 from https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2216202/Good-parenting-important-good-schooling-determining-childs-academic-results-says-new-research.html

Grose, M. (2015). The definition of good parenting. Parenting Ideas. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.parentingideas.com.au/blog/the-definition-of-good-parenting

Stöppler, M.C. (n.d.). What are the 10 principles of good parenting? MedicineNet. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.medicinenet.com/parenting/article.htm#what_are_the_10_principles_of_good_parenting

What is good parenting—the real definition you might not know. (n.d.).  MyParenting Journal. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.myparentingjournal.com/what-is-good-parenting/        

Wong, D. (2018). 12 skills that good parents have (backed by science). Daniel Wong. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.daniel-wong.com/2018/01/08/good-parenting-skills/

Good Parenting Qualities and Characteristics You Can Develop

Blau, L. (n.d.). What are the essential characteristics of a good parent? Livestrong. Retrieved May 2019
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Lee, K. (2018). What are traits of good parents? Verywell family. Retrieved May 2019 from
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Sharma, V. (n.d.). 20 good character traits that will help your kids grow up to be happy, successful, and
loved by all. A Fine Parent. Retrieved May 2019 from https://afineparent.com/building-character/good-character-traits.html

Good Parenting Skills That Will Benefit Your Family

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Blau, L. (n.d.). What are the essential characteristics of a good parent? Livestrong. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.livestrong.com/article/560215-what-are-the-essential-characteristics-of-a-good-parent/

Lee, K. (2018). What are traits of good parents? Verywell family. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.verywellfamily.com/things-that-good-parents-do-620051

Sharma, V. (n.d.). 20 good character traits that will help your kids grow up to be happy, successful, and loved by all. A Fine Parent. Retrieved May 2019 from https://afineparent.com/building-character/good-character-traits.html

Top 5 Parenting Skills You Will Need in the Digital Age

Browning, D. (2012). Why cell phones are bad for parenting. Time. Retrieved May 2019 from http://ideas.time.com/2012/05/17/why-cell-phones-are-bad-for-parenting/    

Kids & Tech: Tips for parents in the digital age. (2018). Healthychildren.org. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Tips-for-Parents-Digital-Age.aspx       

Parenting in the digital age. (n.d.). Bradley Hospital. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.bradleyhospital.org/parenting-digital-age       

Parents of young children: Put down your smartphones. (2016). healthychildren.org. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Parents-of-Young-Children-Put-Down-Your-Smartphones.aspx       

Schofield Clark, L. (2013). Flipping parenting: My family’s media and tech agreement. Psychology Today. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-in-digital-age/201301/flipping-parenting-my-familys-media-and-tech-agreement

Schofield Clark, L. (2013). Rethinking the role of digital media in family life. Psychology Today. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.bradleyhospital.org/parenting-digital-age

Why to limit your child’s media use. (2016). healthychildren.org. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/The-Benefits-of-Limiting-TV.aspx   

Develop Your Parenting Philosophy: Strategies That Make You Great

Bright Horizons Team. (n.d.). Parenting philosophy: Simplicity parenting. Bright Horizons. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.brighthorizons.com/family-resources/parenting-tips-simplified-parenting-philosophy

Orlans, M. (2015). 10 top parenting strategies. Evergreen Psychotherapy Center. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.evergreenpsychotherapycenter.com/the-10-best-parenting-strategies/

Wagenhals, D. (2015). What’s your philosophy of parenting? Lakeside. Retrieved May 2019 from https://lakesidelink.com/blog/lakeside/whats-your-philosophy-of-parenting/

Waters, I. (n.d.). The one word that describes your parenting. Livelovegrow. Retrieved May 2019 from https://lovelivegrow.com/the-one-word-that-describes-your-parenting/

How Your Parenting Style Can Affect Your Child’s Mental Health

Coste, B. (n.d.). 12 Different types of parenting styles and child discipline strategies. Positive-Parenting- Ally.com Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.positive-parenting-ally.com/types-of-parenting-styles.html

Boggs, J. (n.d.). Parenting styles and mental health: Measuring the relationship between authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive parenting styles and their effects on mental health. University of South Florida St. Petersburg. Retrieved May 2019 from http://www.usfsp.edu/scl/files/2018/05/Parenting-Styles-and-Mental-Health-by-Jonathan-Boggs.pdf

Broderick, P.C. & Blewitt, P. (2006). The life span: Human development for helping professionals, 2nd ed. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Merrill Prentice Hall

Morin, A. (2019). 4 types of parenting styles and their effects on kids. Verywell family. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045

Parenting style may affect child’s mental health. (2011). HealthDay. Retrieved May 2019 from https://consumer.healthday.com/mental-health-information-25/anxiety-news-33/parenting-style-may-affect-child-s-mental-health-655442.html

Parenting styles. (n.d.). ACT: A Parenting Program by the American Psychological Association. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.apa.org/act/resources/fact-sheets/parenting-styles

Turner, E.A. (2018). Parenting effects on children: What’s your parenting style? Psychology Today. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-race-good-health/201802/parenting-effects-children-what-is-your-parenting-style

Vassar, G. (2011). Recognizing shame-based parenting. Lakeside. Retrieved May 2019 from https://lakesidelink.com/blog/lakeside/recognizing-shame-based-parenting/

Weiss McGolerick, E. (2011). 5 parenting styles for a new generation. SheKnows. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/819528/5-parenting-styles-for-a-new-generation/

Parenting Tips for When Your Tween Has a Meltdown

What you should know about meltdowns…from a tween on the spectrum. Lemon Lime Adventures. Retrieved May 2019 from https://lemonlimeadventures.com/what-you-should-know-about-meltdowns-from-a-tween-on-the-spectrum/

Garey, J. (n.d.). 10 tips for parenting preteens. Child Mind Institute. Retrieved May 2019 from https://childmind.org/article/10-tips-for-parenting-your-pre-teen/

Hill, E. (2017). Parenting advice for the teen/tween emotional meltdown. Great Falls Tribune. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.greatfallstribune.com/story/life/2015/03/27/parenting-advice-teentween-emotional-meltdown/70546198/

Morin, A. (n.d.). Difference between tantrums and meltdowns, the. Understood. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/sensory-processing-issues/the-difference-between-tantrums-and-sensory-meltdowns

Stiffelman, S. (2017). 11-year-old has terrible meltdowns when she’d frustrated! Susan Stiffelman. Retrieved May 2017 from https://susanstiffelman.com/tween-meltdowns/

What you should know about meltdowns…from a tween on the spectrum. Lemon Lime Adventures. Retrieved May 2019 from https://lemonlimeadventures.com/what-you-should-know-about-meltdowns-from-a-tween-on-the-spectrum/

Dealing with Parenting Advice You Don’t Want or Need To Hear

Lore, D. (2015). Beware the know it alls: How to handle unsolicited baby advice. WebMD. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/features/beware-the-know-it-alls-how-to-handle-unsolicited-baby-advice#1

Miller, K. (2014). How to deal with unwanted parenting advice. Women’s Health. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a19983307/unwanted-parenting-advice/

Pantley, E. (n.d.). Handling unwanted parenting advice: A guide for new parents. Child Development Institute. Retrieved May 2019 from https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/ages-stages/baby-infant-development-parenting/unwanted-parenting-advice/#.XOGB1_ZFyvw

Parenting Goals and Expectations Must Pass the Reality Test

Farmer-Kris. (2019). Taking small steps to parenting goals. PBS Kids for Parents. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/taking-small-steps-to-parenting-goals

Hudson, M. (n.d.). Realistic expectations for great parenting. North Shore Magazine. Retrieved May 2019 from http://www.familyservices.bc.ca/images/stories/pdfs/ArticleExpectations_Nov08.pdf

Importance of setting parenting goals, the. (n.d.). Valentin & Blackstock Psychology. Retrieved May 2019 from http://www.vbpsychology.com/the-importance-of-setting-parenting-goals/

Mendes, I. (2015). 10 totally attainable parenting goals for the new year. Today’s Parent. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.todaysparent.com/blogs/10-totally-attainable-parenting-goals-for-2015/

Miller, K. (2014). How to deal with unwanted parenting advice. Women’s Health. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a19983307/unwanted-parenting-advice/

Morin, A. (2019). Parenting tips from 10 parenting experts. verywell family. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.verywellfamily.com/parenting-tips-from-10-parenting-experts-1095042

Schwartz, N. (n.d.). How to set (and achieve!) your parenting goals. Imperfect Families. Retrieved May 2019 from https://imperfectfamilies.com/how-to-set-and-achieve-your-parenting-goals/

Recovering from Parenting Fails

Lange, A. (n.d.). 4 ways to recover from your parenting failures. Organized Motherhood. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.organizedmotherhood.com/4-ways-to-recover-from-your-parenting-failures/

Lindholm, M. (2018). Learn from my parenting mistakes. Psychology Today. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/more-women-s-work/201810/learn-my-parenting-mistakes-0

What Does Bad Parenting Look Like?

Arora, M. (2018). Bad parenting signs & how it can affect your child. First Cry Parenting. Retrieved May 2019 from https://parenting.firstcry.com/write-for-us/

CureJoy Editorial. (2018). Signs of bad parenting. Are you one of them? CureJoy. Retrieved May 2019
 from https://www.curejoy.com/content/bad-parenting-12-signs-bad-parenting-one/

Effects of bad parenting on your child. (2014). American Society for the Positive Care of Children (American SPCC). Retrieved May 2014 from https://americanspcc.org/2014/07/17/effects-bad-parenting-child/

Jain, A.S. (2018). 8 signs of bad parenting that every parent should know. We Have Kids. Retrieved May 2019 from https://wehavekids.com/parenting/Signs-of-Bad-Parenting-effects-good-parent

Richards-Gustafson, F. (n.d.). The effects of bad parenting on children. Livestrong. Retrieved May 2019  from https://www.livestrong.com/article/560572-the-effects-of-bad-parenting-on-children/

Common Parenting Issues and How To Deal with Them

Lehman, J. (n.d.). Challenging Parenting Issues: 5 of the hardest things parents face. Empowering Parents. Retrieved May 2019  from https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/5-of-the-hardest-things-parents-face-how-to-handle-the-most-challenging-parenting-issues/

Lehman, J. (2013). Good behavior is not “magic”—it’s a skill: The three skills every child needs for good behavior. At Health. Retrieved May 2019 from https://athealth.com/topics/good-behavior-is-not-magic-its-a-skill-the-three-skills-every-child-needs-for-good-behavior-2/

Lerner, C. (2019). Parenting without power struggles. PBS Kids for Parents. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/parenting-without-power-struggles

Overcoming 7 common parenting issues. (2017). Everyday Health. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.everydayhealth.com/kids-health/overcoming-7-common-parenting-issues/

How Do I Raise an Emotionally Healthy Child?

7 tips to improve your child’s mental health and emotional wellbeing. Carizon. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.carizon.ca/7-tips-improve-childs-mental-health-emotional-well/

Five critical emotional needs of children. (n.d.). The Children’s Project. Retrieved May 2019 from https://emotionallyhealthychildren.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Five-Critical-Needs-English.pdf

Developing emotionally healthy children, families, schools and communities. (n.d.). Retrieved May 2019 from https://emotionallyhealthychildren.org/

Firestone, L. (2012). 7 tips to raising an emotionally healthy child. Psychology Today. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201211/7-tips-raising-emotionally-healthy-child

Healy, M. (2018). How to raise an emotionally healthy child. Psychology Today. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/creative-development/201901/how-raise-emotionally-healthy-child

Healy, M. (2018). The emotionally healthy child. (2018). Psychology Today. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/creative-development/201810/the-emotionally-healthy-child

Peterson, T.J. (2018). What is emotional health? And how to improve it? HealthyPlace. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/mental-illness-overview/what-is-emotional-health-and-how-to-improve-it

Vann, M.R. (2009). Raising emotionally healthy children. Everyday Health. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/raising-emotionally-healthy-kids.aspx

5 Tips for Raising a Strong-Willed Child

Markham, L. (n.d.). The strong-willed child: 11 ways to turn power struggles into cooperation. Mother.ly. Retrieved May 2019 from https://www.mother.ly/child/11-tips-for-parenting-your-strong-willed-child

Pace, A. (2019). Parenting a strong-willed child: Research says this is the best approach. Parenting from the Heart. Retrieved May 2019 from https://parentingfromtheheartblog.com/parenting-a-strong-willed-child/

Tamm, L. (n.d.). 5 highly effective tips for parenting a strong-willed child. The Military Wife and Mom. Retrieved May 2019 from https://themilitarywifeandmom.com/parenting-strong-willed-child/

Parenting Gifted Children to Succeed in Life

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The Best Parenting Strategies for Highly Sensitive Children

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DeMattia, J. (n.d.). Raising a highly sensitive child. Scary Mommy. Retrieved June 2019 from https://www.scarymommy.com/raising-highly-sensitive-child/

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What, really, is parenting? Often, people are excited when they learn that they’re expecting their first child. Certainly, other emotions float in and out. Questions form, such as, “Is it really better to breastfeed? What if I can’t?” or, “How do you get a baby to fall asleep in the middle of the night?” These questions and others like them are important. Two of the most important questions, though, are often overlooked: “What is parenting?” and “What does it mean to be a parent?” Understanding the essence of parenting can help you create your own meaningful definition of parenting that will guide you through the incredible roller coaster of the parenting journey.

What Is Parenting?

Examining dictionary definitions of parenting is a helpful start. Sources such as Merriam-Webster, the Cambridge Dictionary, Collins Dictionary, and Dictionary.com define what parenting is in very similar ways. Using an amalgam of these official sources, the definition of parenting includes elements like these:

• The process of raising a child from birth to independent adulthood
• Facilitating the upbringing of a child through all stages of development
• Caring for and nurturing a child
• Fulfilling the parental responsibilities that accompany child-raising
• The act of caring for a child rather than the biological connection to a child
• Establishing a healthy environment as the child grows—taking actions to ensure social development and education that aligns with your values
• Providing a financially stable home life (note: this is not the same as being wealthy)
• Adjusting to the changing needs of a child as they grow and develop

These definitions are accurate and helpful, providing some insight into what parenting is. However, they are a bit stark and black-and-white, delineating a definition of parenting as a simple checklist. In that respect, they fall a bit short of a valuable parenting education. Parenting can also be described as the meaning it holds for parents.

What Does It Mean to Be a Parent?

Good parenting isn’t just a robotic tending to the needs of a child. While this care is crucial, it’s not the only aspect of parenting. The American Psychological Association (n.d.) describes three primary goals of parenting; only the first one involves basic needs.

• Keeping children healthy and safe
• Preparing kids for independent adulthood
• Teaching values that align with the parents’ culture

Similarly, the organization Proud 2 Parent (2017) lists these concepts as parenting definitions:

• Meeting basic needs
• Protection
• Preparation
• Love
• Leading

Keeping kids safe and healthy and providing basic needs are crucial survival needs. Parenting involves these other missions, too, responsibilities that infuse parenting with deeper meaning.

Preparing children for adulthood is the overarching role of a parent. A phrase to illustrate the idea is this: You’re not raising a child; you’re raising an adult. Every day, parents make choices and act in deliberate ways to help shape their children into people with character, respect, a sense of responsibility, motivation, and skills to help them be both successful as kids and as adults. Leading relates to this preparation. Parents’ actions speak louder than words; indeed, leading by example is more effective than lecturing.

While it seems like this preparation and leading by example are heavy responsibilities that require multiple parenting skills, they’re also fun. This preparation is done largely through outings together, playing games together, generally living life together. Preparation is about actions.  It can create strong parent-child bonds and infuses parenting with meaning.

Parental meaning, maybe even stronger than preparation, is the act and attitude of unconditional love. Raising kids can be challenging and peppered with difficult times; however, when your relationship is rooted in love, you have a bond that remains strong and can bring you together any time you disagree and argue. Loving your children nurtures them and helps them thrive. A hug, a kiss on the head, laughter, and the joy of being together is perhaps the best description of the meaning of parenting. It’s what parenting is all about.

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