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Last week, one of the Heal My PTSD support group members heaved a big sigh and asked, “Is it normal to fluctuate between seeing progress and going back to square one? Is that part of PTSD recovery?”
For more than two years, I wrote about my struggles with anorexia nervosa and the associated depression and anxiety that came with it on HealthyPlace's Surviving ED blog. I was proud that I was unfailingly honest about my thoughts, fears, and actions while attempting to recover from an eating disorder. I felt that was the only way to connect and help others, and I didn't regret it. Until recently.
In the presentation I give to schoolchildren, I mention that, at various points in my history, I self-harmed. I cut myself. It’s a dirty truth, but there it is. And not surprisingly, one teen asked me today, “Why would anyone cut themselves?” Good question. Whole books have been written exploring this question and there is no single answer to why people self-harm. However, as to why most self-harm: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When Delay is Deadly When I was kicked out of the Army due to my mental illness, they gave me a 30-day supply of medication, a list of mental health services in Indianapolis and a "good luck, ex-soldier Oberg". Unfortunately, it was going to take three months to get in to see a psychiatrist. I've since found that other people have the same problem--it's so common that CrisisChat.org has an article about what to do while waiting for mental health services in their mental health library.
Let's do the math: mental illness = positivity. Right? Well, usually not, but it works in our favor to try to find positive aspects when recovering from mental illness. I'm going to break this down into the three stages of recovery we all go through.
Should taking bipolar medications bother me? Psychiatric medications, including bipolar medications, are at the center of many controversial debates. Many people feel as if taking bipolar medications daily means that they are completely dependent upon them, while others believe that medications are necessary for their bipolar disorder treatment.
Feeling triggered during social events? So am I! Eating disorder triggers seem to come from every direction, but is there anything you can do about them?
Intimate partner violence has been called the “hidden variable” in the lives of older adult women (65 and older). In our youth-driven culture, it can be difficult to think of older women as the victims of domestic violence, spousal abuse, rape, or emotional abuse, chiefly because it is uncomfortable for us to consider the elderly as romantically and sexually active. These are younger women’s problems, goes the popular attitude, and media and social services directed at victims of IPV seem to concur. If you’ve ever thought this way, you’re not alone. Studies have shown even physicians are reluctant to ask older women about domestic violence, particularly sexual abuse.
People associate so many experiences with food. I remember what I had at so-and-so's wedding and how happy my grandmother's strawberry shortcake makes me feel. There are so many good things about food. And, then, there's the way that ADHD medications make you feel about food. Those feelings? They tend to not be so good ...
If the signs and symptoms of depression were detected early in a young person’s life, would it make a difference? (Symptoms of depression in teens and children) Teenage Depression or Normal Teenage Behavior? I was a moody teen… is there any other kind of teen? The sudden outbursts, melancholy and disinterest in teenagers is often attributed to or described as bad-tempered, sulky, hormonal, bitchy, dramatic. The list is endless. Regardless of gender, each teenager must survive his/her own brand of pubescent purgatory.

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Carol Wilton
I feel that you are very blessed to have such a loving and supportive husband.. I also feel that you may never find someone like him again because relationships are not always about chemistry and sexual fulfilment but more to do with respect and understanding both which I feel that you and him share.He obviously loves you very much and from my own experience of bipolar disorder these qualities are not so easy to find,if not extremely difficult to replace.All I can say is before you decide to leave him and look for a sexually compatible partner I would feel like it would be best to go to see a therapist and explore your life there with the therapist.It’s always good to look at other people’s life and choices to determine who would be best for you. I wish you love, and hope for you in your life. I can’t remember if I said that I also have bipolar and having chemistry between you and any future wife that you would like to have is disruptive to one’s mental health because I had a relationship that had amazing chemistry between him and me but ultimately it became obsessive and at times I was crazy in love with him and other times I really didn’t like him at all because he wasn’t fulfilling my expectations of being in love with me because he found it too difficult to use my bipolar disorder.So I hope you don’t mind if I just say think about this decision that you might make with deep consideration. I truly hope that you can make the best decision for yourself..Sending you love and peace.xx
Mom
Thank goodness we are not alone . I often ask myself why I feel so inadequate after visiting my 39 year old daughter ( 4 year old granddaughter) , why I m sad and relieved to be going home .... walking on eggshells , hoping I m not going to say the wrong thing when all I m trying to do is love them both and share special times . I feel I m kept as arms length and there is no closeness. Sadness and depression and guilt all kick in for a few days , but then I think , get on with it . As long as I see my beautiful granddaughter I m happy .... " I am enough" .... I will always be there when needed .
Iz
This isn’t uncommon… It can be difficult for a borderline to feel individuated or have a strong identity, so they may tend to lock in to a partner, their children, or parents beyond what non-borderlines would. The refusing to speak to you may be to maintain an image as part of wanting to be seen a certain way.
Erin Crowe
I agree in that DiD doesn’t make you violent, but there are people with DID (such as my mom) who can be very violent. Also, the people on blogs and getting help and so forth don’t represent everyone with DID. I’m sure there are many, many violent offenders in prison who have DID. Maybe the DID didn’t cause them to become violent, but their trauma did.
I also have DID. And I know that it is not safe for people or animals to live with me. This is just the facts and it’s devastating. I know that to be ethical and non-harming I have to live alone. To see me, I look kind and sweet. And parts of me are. But not all the parts. I’ve been officially diagnosed and in therapy over two years, and even if we all heal, I don’t think it’s worth the risk that I could hurt or kill somebody. Some risks can be taken, but I don’t think I could say, ‘hey- let’s move in together. By the way I had violent tendencies but I think I have it taken care of. You ok with that?’
Mel
I feel like I’m reading my own reply. Each and every syllable. Wow.