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Amanda_HP
When cruising Facebook profiles, many times under "relationship status," you'll find someone wrote "it's complicated." As a matter of fact, you'll find the phrase on so many profiles, it's become sort of a joke. What's no laughing matter is that for many with a mental illness, relationships can be complicated.
As young people seeking help for our mental health issues, sometimes we face unique challenges. I occasionally get criticism from older people telling me that I am just taking myself too seriously. They say I don't really have a mental illness or addiction, but insist that I am just young or immature and I will grow out of it. This was especially troubling when it came to my alcoholism.
I am blessed with fantastic and supportive relationships in my family. When I was twelve years old and in the children's psychiatric hospital, my parents and siblings would visit whenever they could. They brought me chocolate and teddy bears, tears and promises that I would be home soon. But bipolar disorder, or any mental illness really, can either destroy relationships or enhance them. And that's okay. Let some relationships go, and make sure you keep the supportive relationships.
Thirteen years ago, I was a Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner by day and the mother of a son newly diagnosed with ADHD by night. Despite my experience and education in the psychiatric field, I felt helpless as to how to help him manage and overcome his challenges. Little did I realize just how much ADHD would impact his life, my personal life and professional life. In the years to come, I would discover ADHD Coaching and see what a difference it made to help him overcome his struggles. I would learn that my husband and older son also struggled with the disorder and that I myself, although never officially diagnosed, had many ADD/ADHD tendencies, characteristics and traits.
All of the misconceptions about Dissociative Identity Disorder bother me because they create barriers to diagnosis, treatment, and support. But there’s one myth that bothers me for more personal and, up until today, private reasons. And that’s the assumption that child abuse causes Dissociative Identity Disorder.
[caption id="attachment_254" align="alignright" width="119" caption="Thomas Insel, NIMH"][/caption]
Let's hope so. Let's hope earlier detection is possible. Why? Because it's essential. At the NAMI Convention in Chicago a few weeks ago, Dr. Thomas Insel of NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health) said that more research dollars are spent on tooth decay than on mental illness. Really? Wow!
Abusers who have not yet turned to physical violence could be "time bombs" with fuses of unknown length. If your abuser feels that his "normal" verbally abusive techniques are not working, he will probably move into physical abuse to maintain his control.
Abuse escalates over time. Time spent in abusive situations and relationships cause you to feel beaten down and devastated - but it is never too late to get help.
This week I might see my ex-boyfriend, Grant. Everyone has an ex like Grant, you know, the guy you thought would be The One, who just turned out to be The One That Got Away.
Clearly, psychotherapy doesn't work for everyone. Some more than others. The bigger question, the real question, is why it works at all.
My name is Dani Zee. I am a mental health consumer and advocate. I am also a business owner, a friend, a daughter and a sister.
I have been video blogging on YouTube for over a year about my life and living with mental illness. My purpose in doing this is to raise awareness about mental illness and to support people that experience it. Now, I'm glad to be here at HealthyPlace.com sharing mental health information and insights with young adults who are dealing with mental health problems and may being going through what I've experienced.
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I know how hard it is for parents to watch a child with mental illness struggle. Know this: you are not alone. Many parents are in this untenable situation.
Your options are very limited for the reasons you have listed. Your son is an adult and get to make his own decisions -- even when those decisions are heavily influenced by an illness. And while some might disagree, the US tends to fall on the side of personal rights, regardless of illness.
If your son is a risk to himself or others, you can see about getting him treated without his consent. (In some States, this is also possible when a person is at a grave threat of decompensation [getting sicker].) I know this is a hard thing to do, but sometimes the only thing that will help someone is the treatment they refuse.
I recommend you check out the Treatment Advocacy Center. They have a hotline and a lot of information online about serious mental illness and treatment of those illnesses: https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/
I also wrote this piece about the situation when help is refused (not associated with HealthyPlace) and it lists some additional resources: https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-blog/person-mental-illness-accept-illness/?swcfpc=1
Finally, I recommend you reach out to other parents in the same situation. You may be able to find these people through groups like NAMI (just Google them). Knowing others facing the same issues can help.
I hope your son is able to get help.
-- Natasha Tracy