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How Do I Tell My Parents I Need Mental Health Help?

2012, April 5 Natasha Tracy

Mental health is something that matters whether you’re seven, seventeen and seventy, and any of those ages can fall victim to a mental illness. Depression, for example, is quite prevalent and undertreated in the elderly.

But if you’re underage, it may be more difficult than just going to your doctor to start the process of getting help for your mental health. It likely means explaining your mental health concerns to your parents; which, quite reasonably, is scary to a young person. (It’s scary to an old person too, but I digress.)

So how do you tell your parents you think you need mental health help?

What Makes You Think You Need Help?

It’s absolutely possible to be underage and need mental health help and it’s absolutely possible that you, as an underage person, might be the one to realize it before your parents. After all, only you know how you are feeling inside.

But it’s important to sit down for a moment and think, logically about why you think you need help. No doubt, you have your reasons, but it’s important to think critically about what they are so that you can communicate them to your parents (and then, later, to a healthcare professional).

Write Down Your Reasons

Now that you’ve got your thoughts straight, write down what you want to say to your parents. I don’t say this because I think you need another piece of homework, I say this because it can be very intimidating and anxiety-causing to talk to your parents and you might forget what you want to say. This happens to everyone. During that all-important conversation the points you want to make just fly out of your head. And take a look at it from your parent’s perspective – if you can’t tell them what’s wrong, how can they help you?

Get Ready to Talk

Now that you’re clear on your part of the conversation, make a plan on when and how to talk to your parents. Hopefully you can find a time when there’s no pressure to be somewhere or do something. Maybe talk to one parent alone if you feel more comfortable with that.

And make sure you have support people to back you up if things don’t go well. Hopefully things will go well and you’ll get what you need from your parents, but if they don’t, friends you can call can make all the difference in the world. Your school counselor might be another resource you can use for support during this time.

Talk to Your Parents

Then it’s time to have the talk. Try to be calm and act rationally, if you can. You might not be able to, and that’s OK too, just do your best.

If you’re really concerned that things will blow up when you talk to your parents, consider writing them a letter and giving it to them with a few hours to digest it before you talk.

Get Help

The goal of talking to your parents is to get help so that is the next step. Keep in mind, your parents might not know what to do – that’s OK, adults aren’t perfect and sometimes we’re as confused as anyone else.

So maybe you can suggest what kind of help you need. Do you need an eating disorder specialist? Do you need inpatient treatment for an addiction? Do you want to talk to a psychologist? Do you think you have a mental illness and should see a doctor? Do you need emergency help because you’re afraid you might hurt yourself?

Any of those things are OK. All kinds of help are out there and whatever you need is what you should ask for. If in doubt, see your family doctor and get a referral from there.

Parents Aren’t Perfect

I probably don’t need to tell you this but parents aren’t perfect and they might not reach out with the love and support you deserve. But remember, you do deserve those things and your parents might just need a bit of time with this new information before they can give them to you.

And please remember that help is always available, no matter what. These helplines can get you started.

You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or GooglePlus or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter.

APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2012, April 5). How Do I Tell My Parents I Need Mental Health Help?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, May 20 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2012/04/how-do-i-tell-my-parents-i-need-mental-health-help



Author: Natasha Tracy

Natasha Tracy is a renowned speaker, award-winning advocate and author of Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression & Bipolar.

Find Natasha Tracy on her blog, Bipolar BurbleTwitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Leah
says:
May, 10 2019 at 2:38 pm
Hello, im 15 and this situation is difficult for me because i dont live with my parents. there was a bunch of complicated stuff that made that happen but the point is, i live with my oldest sister. shes 34 and we have literally never spoken about emotions together in my entire life. shes this powerful woman who is strictly business and its hard to present myself to her as a adolescent kid who thinks she needs mental help. Im not worried she would say no or it would get ugly because she wouldnt do that but i hate the thought of her pitying me or thinking im crazy. I havent identified my issue(s) quite yet but im very suicidal and very depressed and probably have OCD or bipolar disorder but i've already asked her to put me in online school for next year and that was hard enough. I've talked to two of my other sisters about wanting mental help and they both have my back I just cant bear to thought of having to talk to her and tell her that im miserably depressed and want to kill myself like no other. Any advice?
May, 15 2019 at 10:31 am
Hi Leah,

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling that way. It's so tough to be in that place. Rest assured, though, you're not alone. Many people have been there.

I can understand what you're saying about your older sister but, honestly, you might be surprised at her reaction. She obviously cares about you and you obviously care about her. That bond is stronger than any mental illness.

You need to talk to her, but maybe take it gradually. Maybe tell her that you need help but not tell her the most difficult pieces of that right now. Maybe wait until you have help to tell her all the details. I'm not suggesting you lie, I'm just suggesting you tell her what she needs to know and tell her that you'll talk more to her about it later.

Believe me, if you were my sister, I would _want_ to know that you were feeling that way because I would want to help. I bet she feels that way too.

You can't control her reaction, of course, but you can tell her what you need. You can tell her that you're not crazy. You can tell her that you're afraid of her pity. You can be open and honest about your fears. That's hard, I know, but it's one way of dealing with them and truly knowing what your sister thinks. Again, you might be surprised and it might give you the strength you need to talk about everything.

Also, please don't try to diagnose yourself. It's great that you've identified that you need help, but only a mental health professional like a psychiatrist is going to have enough experience and knowledge to actually identify what's wrong. Just like a stomach ache can mean many things, so can what you're experiencing.

Please get help as soon as you can. That's how you can start feeling better.

- Natasha Tracy
Anon
says:
February, 26 2019 at 1:13 pm
I know this was posted awhile ago but I need help I feel like there's a bottle thafs pressure is building up inside me and is going to explode leaving just bits and pieces behind I've been pretending and denying that anything is wrong for so long and I can't take it any more I really really want to get help but I don't have a great relationship with my father in that way what do i do im scared of myslef but i dont want to let him down or for him to dismiss it help me please
February, 27 2019 at 9:33 am
Hi Anon,

I can understand what it's like feeling like you're going to explode. You're right to want help now before that happens.

I also understand not wanting to disappoint a parent. That's totally normal. Nevertheless, help is very important and you need to get it.

I recommend seeking supportive help from your school counselor because they can help you with ways to talk to your dad. Also, you can call a helpline at any time for more support and ways to talk to your father: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources

You can also talk to a doctor if that makes more sense for you.

While it can be really hard, it's worth seeking out help from your father and others. You can do it. Things can get better with help.

- Natasha Tracy
Thomas
says:
December, 20 2018 at 9:15 pm
I live in the deep south bordering Texas and I've made a reputation of myself as a "comedian", I loved making people smile and laugh because I just kind of lost the motivation to try and do better at school, now my parents scold me for just getting a high B when they themselves struggled to get a C when they were in school. My parents just shrugged it off when my older sister said she was getting super stressed from college and they called her "an edgy hormonal teen". I've seriously just lost all love for them, my sister, and everyone else around me over time, what was once such a colorful time making everyone laugh, smile, and chuckle just turned into countless seconds every day, just so dreadful to think that I have to live like this for the rest of my life because even if I do get help then I will be stuck alone. I'm not saying I've had the hardest life in the world, I'm just saying that no one has experienced what I have, and no matter what help I get, I will still be alone, people will say they care but they have either no intention or no idea how to help, I'm just on this earth waiting to be turned into worm feed.
Maddi
says:
December, 9 2018 at 9:21 am
I think I have moderate depression. I've looked at symptoms and I have pretty much all of them, as well as suicidal thoughts nearly everyday. I'm scared to tell my parents, because I think theyll think it's just a faze or just hormones. I don't know what to do.
December, 11 2018 at 9:21 am
Hi Maddi,

I can understand your concern. Sometimes parents don't react in the best way. But then again, sometimes they do. Sometimes our fears are wrong.

Try approaching the adult you trust the most and try to explain to them as clearly as you can why you think this might be the case. Give them examples and talk to them about your symptoms.

If that doesn't work or if you feel like you can't do that, then talk to a school counselor, doctor or a hotline for support and additional help in talking to your parents. https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources

You can do this.

- Natasha Tracy
Anonymous
says:
November, 6 2018 at 5:29 pm
Hi, I'm 11 and I think I have a mental health issue. I feel REALLY bad writing this and like a snobby attention hogger as everyone else has it so much worse. I hate myself. It's as plain and simple as that - I hate myself. I mean I have other things up with mah brain but that's the main thing. Every day it feels like my life is getting a firmer and firmer grip on me - slowly suffocating me and sucking the life out of me. I don't have abusive parents, they're lovely! For God's sake my mum is just the best human being to have ever existed but my life is still hell! I don't know why I feel this way - I just do. I feel like I suck at everything I do, I'm constantly breathing down my own neck. I can't accept compliments as they just make me feel like an entitled brat. If I ever feel proud I get shocked that my brain did that horrible act and then I feel guilty and then I get mad at myself and work myself into tears all because I felt proud. I punch myself - I hate that I do but I do. I don't do it a lot just when I just feel soo rubbish I feel as though I have to, the only reason my mum hasn't discovered this yet is because I put foundation on and you never see the bruise emerge let alone see it after it emerges. (I punch my face btw). I just started secondary school, well I've had half term since but it's still my first year, but I'm at a different school to my two best friends. I recently went trick or treating with one of them and it felt like I wasn't even there. I had a total of 3 panic attacks while we were out and I had to get picked up by my dad. The reason I felt so distant was because I want really included, we were going with her friend from her school that I didn't know - I'm 90% sure I have social anxiety and I'm an awkward introvert that hates people and has panic attacks when meeting new ones - and I wasn't included in the conversations and I tried to contribute but I failed miserably and now I feel like our friendship isn't gonna last and I've known her since I was 5 - heck we've been beasties since we're 5 and now I'm losing her. I'm rambling now, ugh I'm bad at not rambling. When I was 7 and 8 and a bit at 10 and a little tiny slither at 11 my other bestie bullied me. I know why and I get it - I really do but it still hurt. I've had a bad back since some time when I was 8 and it's still no better - the hospital discharged me for it as 'they can't find anything physically wrong with it' and she knows this and in year 5 when we sat next to eachother she'd just kick my chair all day which made it worse. We went in 3 times to try to get her to stop but they couldn't do anything as she was having home troubles and was just taking it out on me. Anyway, I have loads of panic attacks and they're hell my hands and legs shake and I hyperventilate and my heart races and I can't think straight, I tear up and my face goes pale and I feel like everyone is staring at me and they're closing in on me. I'm sad all the time and I have mood swings (but that might just be hormones and puberty acting up) and some days I just don't want to leave my bed. I hate school and I don't want to go anymore. Today, for example, I was effectively pushed down the stairs by the other students, the halls and stairs are crammed to the brim with kids and I always seem to be the one who get pushed down them. Random older kids will talk to me and I freak out. I'm paranoid about what others think about me and I always ask for approval with everything. I never put myself first and will happily won't eat if I can't - I won't complain. I'm not anorexic if that's what you're thinking but I'll happily put needs after things for others. I never sleep enough but even if I do I'm exhausted. I hate myself so damn much I RJ ink I'm the worst human being to have ever lived and the person who died so that I could come into existence should have remained alive as they were so much more worthy of life than me. I never feel worthy enough to live - I'm worthless and useless in my eyes. I actually got a tiny bit better as my voice was quietening but I'd felt this way for so long I made it come back - I didn't want to be better - I don't deserve to be better. I'm self pittying and that makes me hate myself even more and I feel useless. I hate myself.
I think I'm talentless. My brain has become unable to comprehend anyone saying anything positive about me. I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 9 but I've been struggling longer than that. I want to die. My cat went missing last Christmas and she was the only thing keeping me going but now all I have is the hope that she'll coke back. I don't like life. I just want my pain to end. Whenever I try to tell someone I have a panic attack and I can't. I'm not telling a school counselor because 1. I don't even know who they are and 2. I can't talk to new people in general let alone tell them about all this. I want help but I don't feel like I deserve it. Thank you random person who took some of their valuable time to read this my only question is why you wasted it on my comment and not the comment of someone who deserves to be heard. Bye. (I didn't say that for attention I honestly do feel like you wasted your time cos you spent it on me)
November, 13 2018 at 10:15 am
Hi Anonymous,

Thank you for leaving your comment. What you're going through sounds really hard.

What you need to know is that life doesn't have to be this hard. Life doesn't have to be like you have described. Life can get better. But it sounds like you will need help to make that happen.

I know you said you don't want to talk to a school counselor, and that's okay, but it's really important that you talk to _some_ adult that you trust. If not them, then who? There has to be a parent, a friend of the family, a teacher, someone you can reach out to. Believe me, you load will feel so much lighter once you share it with someone.

You can also call a helpline. You do not have to be suicidal to call: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources

Please reach out. You can do this. A little bit at a time, it will get better.

- Natasha Tracy
Anonymous
says:
December, 19 2018 at 6:00 pm
Hi, it’s the person from before. I’ve found out that 2 of my friends actually have a mental health issue. One has anxiety and the other has mild depression (I think, she says she does but I’m not 100% on that). I’m thinking on asking the one I sit next to on the bus (anxiety girl) how she told her mum... the only problem is she sits with her brother and 3 of her friends and they are NOT finding out. Nuh-uh. No way. Ain’t happening. But my bus is REALLY cramped and there isn’t a seat at the back with no one sat in I can ask her at - no, people have to stand up on a DOUBLE decker. I want help as I'm now getting burn out on top off everything else from my school. I haven't had a very good experience with at all since I was 5. I was wondering if you have any tips on asking her. I think I might set an alarm and text her before my mum comes to wake me up so I can't tell her then... I could write her a note and give it to her as we separate (we walk down to my bus stop together and then she walks a little further to get to hers). Bye
Nobody
says:
May, 9 2019 at 9:57 pm
Wow, it sounds like you're going through a really tough time, I hope ie gets better, life I mean, for the nth of us.
Tori
says:
October, 16 2018 at 10:06 am
I'm 17 years old and I've known I need help for a while now. I've tried talking to my parents before and it got us nowhere. I'm afraid to talk to them about it again because I think that they won't believe me again. What could I do?
October, 16 2018 at 11:47 am
Hi Tori,

I'm sorry your parents aren't hearing you when you tell them what you need. That's a hard place to be in but one that many people find themselves in.

What I suggest is that you talk to another adult and get support from them for when you do talk to your parents again. Tell a trusted adult in your life, or your school counselor or even call a helpline for more support: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources

You may also be able to talk to a doctor on your own and he/she can be a support for you too.

Don't give up. There are people out there who will believe you.

- Natasha Tracy
Isabelle Z
says:
October, 14 2018 at 8:13 am
I'm a 15-year-old girl and strongly believe in bipolar, my mother is also bipolar and I have told her I think I might have it but she tells me I don't..the thing is I keep to myself a lot and she doesn't know what will go through my head when I'm alone. I have told her to book an appointment with the doctor but she won't listen and thinks I'm joking. I have no clue on what to do and I just want her to ubderstand.
Braxton
says:
October, 2 2018 at 4:59 pm
I suffer from serious self-harm and I don't know how to tell my parents I'm not doing okay.
October, 5 2018 at 9:11 am
Hi Braxton,

I'm sorry you're suffering from self-harm. I have been there. I also had trouble telling my parents.

It's important, though, that you sit one or both of them down and have the hard conversation. Try to make sure and do it when you're all calm and you have the time and space to do it. Practice what you want to say ahead of time and maybe write it down so you can read it. Or, write a letter and give it to your parents if that's easier for you. Also, make sure you have supports for yourself after the conversation like through friends or a school counselor.

And remember, there are always helplines and resources that can support you and help you work out what you want to say: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources

You can do this. Reach out and get help. It can get better.

- Natasha Tracy
Samantha
says:
August, 17 2018 at 10:46 pm
I’m pretty sure I have bipolar disorder... I have most of the symptoms.. I noticed most of them, but didn’t understand why I had them until I looked up what bipolar disorder was and the symptoms.. now I’m sitting in my bed, crying because Whenever I try to tell my parents about this stuff, they always yell at me and say “You’re being over dramatic, you don’t have a problem.” I cry a lot, I never knew why, my parents think it’s an “act” but I can’t help it. I sometime literally have to force myself not to cry, and when I do, it’s for the stupidest reasons. And I’ll cry, and not be able to stop, and then I won’t even care about the things I was crying about anymore, I’ll just be crying about how I’m such a disappointment and how my parents hate me. The only person I’m comfortable talking with about it is my mom, but she’s always busy, and when she’s not, my dad is around, and he will just yell at me for making something up to get attention. I don’t know what to do... they will never believe me.. I’m hysterically crying writing this right now.. I am so scared to tell them that I think I have it.. please give me some advice...
Dede
says:
July, 22 2018 at 1:50 am
Hello, I'm 12 years old and I think I have OCD. I want to tell my mom but I'm afraid she will just say its a phase or I can fix it myself. But if she does agree and take me to a therapist I'm afraid that money might become an issue. I don't know what to do and I need help.
July, 23 2018 at 10:04 am
Hi Dede,

It's natural to be afraid to talk to a parent when you think something may be wrong. Mental health can be a very hard topic to talk about for anyone.

That said, she needs to know. Clearly, if you're this concerned, you need help and you'll need her to help you get the help you need.

If you really feel like you're not ready to talk to her yet, call a helpline or talk to a school counselor. They may be able to help you talk to your mom.

You can find our hotlines and resources page here: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources

Please reach out. Things can get better but only with help.

- Natasha Tracy

Charlotte
says:
July, 21 2018 at 6:31 am
I want to get my mum and dad to take me to see a doctor or therapist but how do I ask them or bring it up? Because I have many symptoms of being bipolar and I get anxious everyday. Please help me
Jesus Lover
says:
June, 5 2018 at 2:45 pm
Hi. I'm 14 years old. I think I have an anger disorder. I have been dealing with severe anger issues since I was pretty young. I even saw a therapist type person while in 1st grade. I am homeschooled so I don't have a counselor or any one I can go to. I have had suicidal thoughts. I have also almost run away multiple times. I have symptoms like I have extreme rage episodes where I will get angry over something and I will yell and stomp and hit things. I even used to bite my hands bad. When I get angry or have rage episodes I tend to hide and withdraw myself from people. I feel embarrassed and ashamed when I have episodes because I know it is stupid. I also get really flustered and anxious about little things. I don't know what to do. I am introverted and I'm not good at telling people how I feel. How do I tell my parents? I have taken an online quiz that said my anger levels are really high and I should seek help. I don't want to stress my mom out with it though because I am one of 7 kids and she is already pretty stressed. I have tried to tell her something is wrong but she says it is just teen hormones but it's not because I have dealt with this for years. And I don't want to cause more expenses because our budget is tight already. So I don't know what to do. And if anyone is wondering anger disorders are just as real as any other disorder.
Lauren
says:
April, 29 2018 at 5:26 pm
Hi, I'm 16 and I think I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, but I notice a lot of things especially with myself. I get super high moments where I talk super fast and am supper happy then a minute later I'm pretty depressed and want to go hide in a corner or have no feelings at all and a blank face. Because of this, I think I'm bipolar. I've also been pretty depressed (not consistently but with ups and downs; I am not depressed all the time or 24/7) since like January of 7th grade and I'm in 10th now. I also get panic attacks, and since I've started high school, I get them a lot more. I've learned how to control them okay, but sometimes I get really bad ones that I can't (also sometimes I think I get small ones but its been going on for so long it seems normal?) I have struggled with friends for years and have been struggling in school too. I am a perfectionist, so everything i turn in, everything I do, has to be perfect. I could get a 100% on an assignment or test and still not be satisfied. I know I have a lot going for me and my whole life to live, but I hate where I am at right now. In addition, I feel tired 24/7 except in one of my hyper moments. I overthink everything. No matter how much sleep I get, I feel tired unless I'm super stressed which I am most of the time lol. I'm sore all over all the time, constantly want to/ feel like I'm going to puke. I want to see a therapist, but they are all at least 2 hours away without traffic, and I wouldn't know how to tell my parents. I'd tell my mom, but I don't really want to tell my dad. He is kinda strict, so I don't know how he'd react. I'm just having a lot of internal and some external trouble. I don't even know If you'll see this but oh well.Oh yeah, with the therapist thing. I researched it and found a lady I think would suit me very well., but she is like 2 hours and 10 minutes away and I can't drive and am super busy, so I don't even know when I'd be able to go. Thank you for hearing me out if you did, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Lauren
says:
April, 29 2018 at 5:27 pm
sorry I wrote an essay woops

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
April, 30 2018 at 9:58 am
Hi Lauren,

If you're having that much trouble and are that concerned, you might consider prioritizing getting help over other things. I know you said you're busy, but isn't feeling better more important?

Also, if you talk to your mom, the two of you may be able to come up with a plan on how to handle it.

I understand it's hard to make time to get help, but getting help can make everything better.

- Natasha Tracy
Mehmet
says:
April, 28 2018 at 1:42 pm
Hey there. I really feel like adhd symptoms are my case and I want to have a diagnosis by a professional. Im sixteen so I have to tell my parents about it here where i live. Also, i anticipate that my parents will hink that I am kind of crazy to be asking for mental health help, because that is what the case here often where I live. It is thought that people who get mentally checked are crazy/ weird people/ psychopaths. That is not true, and that is making me so crushed. I want your help if you can to give me a way to tell my parents. (I am middle eastern, mental health is viewed negatively)

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
April, 29 2018 at 10:03 am
Hi Mehmet,

Telling your parents that you think you need help is always hard but, yes, cultural issues can make it even harder.

I'm not the best person to ask about cultural issues and working around them. What I would say is that the following resources may help you:

https://www.facebook.com/DubaiAdhdSupportGroup/
https://chmc-dubai.com/adhd/
http://www.timeoutdubai.com/kids/features/37145-adhd-support-in-dubai
http://www.gncdubai.com/adhd-adults/

I recommend you check out the above resources and educate yourself on the illness and the resources around you. Then, when you talk to your parents, you will have facts at hand. You may wish to print some of the information out to give to your parents to help them understand what you're going through. Also, when you talk to your parents, you may wish to write out a script ahead of time so you don't forget everything you want to say. Believe me, it's easy to forget in the moment.

You are not crazy or weird or a psychopath. You're just a person who needs some help.

- Natasha Tracy
Annie
says:
April, 25 2018 at 9:07 am
I’m thirteen years old and a female. For about two months I have been see and hearing things that aren’t really there. I have told one friend I trust and she thinks I have schizophrenia but we can’t dianose Me. As well with see and hearing things I also get extreme thoughts that the tv or a movie is sending me a code message for me to save the planet. I want to tell my mum but I don’t think she will understand. As well with that I have lots of symptoms with depression for one thinking of my dead. I told my mum this about a year ago and I don’t think she believed me. I want to tell her but I’m scared she might get mad at me. Please help x

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
April, 25 2018 at 7:30 pm
Hi Annie,

It sounds like you definitely need medical help and to get medical help, you will have to talk to your parents. You may wish to talk to a school counselor first and that person can be a support for you when you talk to your mom. Also, you can call a helpline for support and additional ideas on how to talk to your mom: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/

The fear that she might get mad is real, but when the time comes, you might be surprised at how supportive she'll be. Just be honest and tell her everything -- maybe have your friend there when you do it.

It's great that you're reaching out. You can do this. The sooner you get help the sooner things can get better.

- Natasha Tracy
Sarena
says:
April, 20 2018 at 3:50 pm
Hey, I'm a 13 year old female. I think that I need mental health but I don't know what kind. I am extremely overweight and I have a lot of problems dieting. I absolutely, positively hate my body. I joke about it so they don't know it's too serious. I've talked to them about it before but they just told me I was beautiful and not to worry about it. I didn't believe them. I think I'm fat and ugly so why don't they. Is what I tell myself. I don't know how to react when people tell me nice things. Another thing is how weird I'll get. One day I'll be like 'I'm happy let's go hang out and talk' and then the next I'll be thinking 'Oh hey I don't feel well' I'll just stay quiet in the corner with my phone. I really don't know what's going on with me. I'll have really weird mood swings from fine to angry really quick. I always beat myself up for feeling like I have some kind of disorder because I have a good life. I have both parents, a house to live in, my own room that I don't have to share, and I am able to over eat. I tried telling my mom about how I feel and she told me I'm just going through puberty and I have a good life so there is nothing wrong. I don't want to try to talk about it again because I'm afraid she'll tell me the same thing. I didn't want to admit this but I've been wanting to cut lately too. I just love what my blood looks like and want to see it more. I will never do it because it would hurt and if my parents found out I'm scared that they would be mad at me and accuse me of wanting attention instead of my cousins who have these problems.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
April, 22 2018 at 8:33 am
Hi Sarena,

I'm sorry you're feeling that way. It sounds like you need help. If you can't talk to your parents right now, see a school counselor. You can also reach out to a helpline: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/

Remember, you don't have to be suicidal to reach out to a helpline.

Your fears are understandable but you still will need to talk to your parents. Reaching out to a counselor or a helpline can help you do this eventually.

- Natasha Tracy
Izabella
says:
March, 28 2018 at 6:36 pm
Hi, I’m thirteen and I have many symptoms of depression. I wouldn’t want to say that I have it because I can’t diagnose myself, but I often have thoughts about suicide. I’ve never tried to commit suicide because I know my mom loves me and I know my siblings do too but something is wrong and I can’t pinpoint what. I’ve written down lists on the least painful ways to commit suicide and have had thoughts on how to perform it but what’s stopping me the most isn’t the fact that I know a part of my family loves me, it’s because I’m a wimp who’s scared of pain. I’ve gained a lot of weight the last 6 months too (about 35 lbs/16k) because I’ve just been stuffing myself with snacks and unhealthy condiments. I’ve had a hard time in school because I’ve changed schools (which I had too because the school I went to only grades up until the sixth one) and I got about five or six’s Fs because I just can’t handle school or any kind of work related activities. I always had it quite easy in school too and therefore I never did homework and just like that I now don’t know how to study, which hasn’t helped. My dad and my mom broke up when I was about three years old so I don’t really remember it but I do know that my dad was, and still is, abusive. Back then he was physically abusive but now he’s verbally so. I started living with him (my siblings did too, they’re sixteen and nineteen) biweekly and it’s hell. I HAVE to compliment his food and tell him about how he’s so freaking perfect. I think he could have some sort of narcissistic disorder. He gets angry when I don’t laugh at his jokes or when I tell him that his disgusting food is just fine (because it HAS to be perfect). His food isn’t bad because he doesn’t know how to cook, that’s actually the only thing he’s good at, but because HE made it. By the way, even my own mom told me that she has never EVER heard him say sorry and they were together for about 20 years. I don’t know, I’m ranting and I know I need help, it’s only a matter of time until my new friends discover that I may not be as happy and confident as I seem to be.

(I’m sorry if my English is a bit screwed here, I’m from Sweden so English is not my native language)

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
March, 29 2018 at 8:22 am
Hi Izabella,

Thank you for reaching out to me.

Any time a person is considering suicide (and certainly making lists of ways to die is serious), they need help. You need help. Talk to your parents. Tell them that you need to see someone.

Or call a hotline. You don't have to be suicidal to call. There are worldwide hotline numbers here: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html (I'm assuming you're not in the US.)

Please reach out to an adult you trust. You want things to get better and that can only happen with help.

- Natasha Tracy
aliyah
says:
March, 26 2018 at 1:16 pm
i'm pretty sure i have depression but i definitely had social anxiety or an anxiety disorder, and well i'm tired of it and i want help. but im only 13 and have known since i was 12 and im so scared , think i have just half to be strong and tell them. I cant tell them about the depression im to weak but i know i can tell them about the anxiety, im lucky that my parents care about me so its very likely i can get help. i just dont know how much one cost, i saw one for 40$ then one for 120$ i may half to give up piano practice to afford this im ok with that. Its just im really scared only being 13, im worried about the cost and my parents blaming them self's. (its not there fault)

-this has been really helpful thank you can you please message/comment me back.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

aliyah
says:
March, 26 2018 at 1:23 pm
im just sssccccaaaarrrreeeeddddddd and i think i just need to talk my school counselor and then be strong and tell my parents/mom.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
March, 27 2018 at 9:02 am
Hi Alliyah,

I can understand why you would be scared of the cost, but you need to let your parents worry about that. There are many options for help and I'm sure they can find one that is right for you. At 13, you can't take responsibility for the payment, but you can take responsibility for being honest.

Please open up to your parents.

- Natasha Tracy

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

aliyah
says:
March, 27 2018 at 11:20 am
ok, thank you.
Alexis Harrington
says:
March, 17 2018 at 5:53 pm
Hey Natasha! Wow, that’s also my mother’s name. Speaking of which, I strongly believe that I indeed had Bipolar Depression and it’s because of my parents, mostly my mother. I’m not sure what to do anymore. It’s been years since I got myself diagnosed secretly with a friend of a friend’s parent, but life at home keeps getting worse. My mom doesn’t accept me for identifying as Non-Binary because I was born a girl and she doesn’t notice when I have Manic attacks. She and my dad try their best to spend time with myself and my two sisters, but I’ve, to keep them from worrying about me, detached myself from them. Some people have noticed me becoming Anti-Social, but all they do is acknowledge it and forget. I feel alone and scared and having Bipolar Depression just makes me want to kill my self, which I have attempted before but failed all without my parents knowing. If you have any advice for an Agender 13 year old who, by the way, cannot talk to a school counselor because the counselor isn’t trained to handle situations like this, then I’m all ears, Natasha.

Thank you for the support I’ve seen you give others,
- Alexis

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
March, 19 2018 at 6:24 am
Alexis,

That sounds very hard. It sounds like you have several challenges ahead of you. I want you to know that you can overcome these challenges and it does get better.

I would recommend you contact the Trevor Project and they are dedicated to helping people just like you: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

You are not alone.

While I am just an Internet person, I stand with you. And the Trevor Project will stand with you, too.

- Natasha Tracy
Makayla
says:
March, 4 2018 at 8:40 am
I’m 16 and I have like theese moments where I’m so happy and I feel like I can do anything and then the next I’m in my bed crying and don’t want to get up and I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what is wrong with me.. my mom is bipolar and I think maybe I am too but I’m scared to talk to her about it cuz it’s really hard for her and I don’t want to upset her

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
March, 5 2018 at 8:48 am
Hi Makayla,

I'm sorry you are in that situation. You're right, it can be very hard to talk to parents -- but you do need to talk to an adult. If it can't be your mom right now, then try a school counselor or a helpline right now: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/

They may be able to support you in talking to your parents.

Your parents do have to know because you need help. You need to know why you are feeling this way. Whether you have bipolar or not, you need to find out.\

Remember, if you don't reach out to an adult, nothing can get better.

- Natasha Tracy
Charlotte...
says:
February, 27 2018 at 11:26 pm
Um.. Hi.. I turned fourteen just over a month ago.... I’m really worried that I have some kind of issue though, because I can’t even bring myself to answer my name on the register at school anymore.... Since I joined secondary school, I feel like I’ve been getting worse at so many simple things... I used to be shy when I was younger, but now I can barely talk to anyone other than my friends and family... It’s getting really hard lately since one of my friends has been ill since December and no one has seen or heard from her other than her family and school... I find myself happy sometimes and then I’ll just think about something going on in my life for a second and I’ll suddenly just feel sad......

My parents are also having a divorce so I’m really stressed out at the moment.... Even just over little things... To put this into context, K like to get to school ridiculously early because I panic that I’m going to be late if I don’t arrive at least 20 minutes before the gates close.. I was walking last week and I was running one minute behind the time I like to set myself for leaving (not that my parents really agree with it because they no it is too early)... But, I was trying to put my shoe on and it wouldn’t go on... I got so stressed, panicked and angry that I ended up flinging the shoe at the ceiling and nearly hitting my Mum and my dog.... I felt so terrible I tried to leave straight away after getting my shoe, crying by this point.... I was stopped and made to calm down so I could leave.... I was really down when I got to school and my teacher for first period noticed and started asking me questions.... There are only a few teachers I feel confident quietly talking to at school, so I ask allowed to see one of them after lesson... I told them about my parents... But not really about how I feel..... I don’t feel like I can tell anyone that I’m worried about myself because I’m scared and I don’t want to upset them...... I just don’t know what to do anymore and i don’t want it getting worse because I’m worried now.........

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
March, 3 2018 at 1:37 pm
Hi Charlotte,

I can understand wanting to keep difficult feelings to yourself. This is something that many, many people feel. But what you have to know is that if you don't talk to anyone, no one can help you and things can't get better. In my experience, these things do get worse if you don't address them and that's the last thing you want.

Please find an adult to talk to -- whoever makes sense for you, counselor, teacher, parent, etc. Even a helpline. https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/

Only reaching out can make this better but remember, it _can_ get better.

- Natasha Tracy
Victoria
says:
February, 5 2018 at 11:32 pm
I was reading through the comments and on some you said to talk to the school counselor... but my school counselor is my mom and I’m scared to talk to me parents and admit that I might need help. What should I do?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
February, 6 2018 at 7:46 am
Hi Victoria,

I'm sorry that's not an option for you. You may wish to call a helpline: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/

Those people are there to help, too.

- Natasha Tracy
Kennedy Ann
says:
January, 30 2018 at 10:50 am
Hey,I have been to a therapist before and they did say i had anxiety and depression, but that was back in 6th grade (i'm in 8th now), and i stopped seeing her in 7th because i thought i was getting better, and i was, but with recent events (parents splitting up a divorce soon to follow and that we going to soon move to the other side of the country- again!) its been getting worse and worse and I've been talking to the school counselor and she says she thinks i should go see a psychiatrist and get some medication for it but the thing is she said she would call my mother to speak about to, that was 4 weeks ago and i asked her about it she said she was too busy and that i should just tell her but, i'm not sure how she'll react i'm quite sure she knows somethings wrong, but i'm not sure she knows how bad it is...

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
January, 30 2018 at 4:09 pm
Hi Kennedy,

I'm sorry you're experiencing anxiety and depression. I know how hard that is.

If I were you, I would book an appointment with your school counselor and use the appointment to phone one of your parents. That way she can't say she doesn't have time.

If that's not possible, then, yes, you may have to tell your parent yourself. If this is the case, you might want to say something like, "You know the anxiety and depression I experienced before? Well, I started feeling better, as you know, but because I've been finding life pretty stressful lately, the symptoms are returning and I need help again, please. How can we make that happen?"

You can continue the conversation from there.

- Natasha Tracy
kiddkdkd
says:
January, 23 2018 at 9:36 am
I have been depressed for maybe a month now, fairly mild but also ive found that i have most symptoms of bpd, and add/adhd
and im a bit stuck because my dad doesnt really understand any of that stuff and im scared he'll get annoyed

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Natasha Tracy
says:
January, 24 2018 at 3:19 am
Hi Kiddkdkd,

I can understand the fear of what your father might think. That's why I recommend calling a helpline or talking to a school counselor for help in talking to family.

https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/

Reach out for help and it can get better.

- Natasha Tracy
Anonymous
says:
January, 12 2018 at 2:37 pm
I already suffer from depression and anxiety...but I think that I am bipolar too. I have many people even tell me this. I am almost 16 but I don't know how to tell my mom that I think I should be tested.

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