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It’s the time of the year when everywhere you go you run into a “Back-To-School Sale” sign or catch yourself singing a catchy, yet annoying, commercial jingle. This time of the summer can be tough because even though I’m not going back to school in any way, shape or form, I find myself being drawn towards new clothes and bedroom décor. However, it’s also tough being surrounded by the not-so-terrific memories of high school – memories linked to self-harm.
Critics call it “a head-first assault” on the First Amendment. Advocates believe it will slow our national descent into narcissism, selfishness, and spandex. Love it or hate it, the SWAT (Stop Writing Annoying Twaddle) Program is here to stay. Brainchild of Reginald Klaxon, Secretary of Psychology, SWAT is an aggressive response to what social critic and handball champion Chance Bazinga has memorably described as, “a bubbling broth of primordial ooze, an orgy of raw id pouring forth across forest and field, an endless outpouring of detritus, meaningless minutia, and abominable, disingenuous self-aggrandizement on a scale unknown since the waning days of the Roman Empire, wafting the perfume of decomposition through cacophonous boulevards and abandoned chicken coops. I refer, of course, to the Internet, and more specifically, the practice known as blogging.” Secretary Klaxon stunned the White House Press Corps when, before beginning the SWAT announcement conference, he asked aids to remove every electronic communications device in the room and deposit them in a brine-filled pickle barrel reserved for the occasion. Now assured of undivided attention he began thusly.
I started writing this blog exactly two years ago--August, 2011. It was a time in my life largely defined by change: the end of long-term relationship, a new home in a new location, a memoir being published about mental health and addiction; I was sober after years of drug and alcohol abuse. I was more fragile then than I am now--a little more frightened of the world. Writing this blog--sharing my experiences and you sharing yours-- made my life a little easier. I felt less alone. I have moved four times within the past two years. I have struggled to stay sober and repair relationships and practice the self-care I preach in these blogs. Change is difficult, particularly when you live with a chronic mental illness, but this blog remained stable. It was one of things I could count on when life seemed to get crazy as it invariably did. I learned more about myself by writing this blog---more about recovering from mental illness--then I have living with it since I was diagnosed at the age of twelve. I also learned more about others. I owe much of this to the wonderful people that have read this blog, who have shared their experiences and made us all feel less alone, and also to healthyplace.com for providing me with the opportunity to delve into issues that are important.
On Tuesday, I started studies for my Master's degree.  (In expressive arts therapy, if you were wondering.)  And around the country, schools and universities are returning to session and one of the most common "get-to-know-you" questions is "What did you do this summer?" If you were lucky enough to go to an eating disorder treatment center during the summer months, or during a school break, you might be able to make something up. But what if you're in a career and just had to take off three or six months for eating disorder treatment? How do you explain that?
Vacation as self-care? Regular breaks from the same routine of dealing with and managing your child's mental health is necessary for you to recharge. It also allows your special needs child an opportunity to just be a kid. While vacation can be a great thing, it can also bring its own challenges.
Learn how to visualize and create images that will help you become more confident and reach your goals in simple, yet effective ways.
The purpose of life is to live it. And taking risks is part of living to the fullest. Life would be pretty boring without challenges. Doing things builds confidence. A ship is safe at dock, but if it spends too long there, the bottom rots out.
PTSD research can be seriously misunderstood, or even incomprehensible (yes! it's true!). Yet there are some simple tactics one can use to avoid this: know what "controlled research" is trying to do; be aware of the necessarily distorted view such research tends to offer us; know the single most important statistic you need in such research to make sense of things; know the kind of research we really need (so you can recognize it when you see it); know the limitations of each of the two sorts of language research uses; and, finally, appreciate the difference between belief and knowledge.
I have had a lot of bad bipolar days in my life. Days when I was incapacitated. Days when I couldn’t make food for myself. Days when I couldn’t work. Days when I couldn’t talk to anyone. Days when I just couldn’t function. On these days, I’m sick. And in some regards, it’s a type of sickness that is like many others. I feel like trash, I don’t want to move from the couch and everything hurts – that could describe a cold or the flu as well. But as it happens, it also described a bad day for depression or bipolar disorder. But here’s the thing, when someone calls and asks if I want to have coffee, saying I’m too depressed isn’t seen as acceptable. That’s seen as weakness. That’s seen as something wrong with me. Whereas, if I said I was sick with a cold, that would be alright, because, after all, everyone gets colds and when they get them, it’s okay not to feel like socializing. And I can’t tell you the number of days I’ve said I was sick with the flu, or a cold, or a stomach bug or anything but sick with bipolar. But really, that’s what I am.
Your heart races, your body temperature rises, and you feel ready for an outburst that expresses how angry you really are. You may be tempted to hold back your anger, but this may not always be the best approach. It turns out anger has a beneficial side too. This emotion is often hidden or repressed, but anger can be helpful and even healthy.

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Comments

Hilary
Hi,

So sorry to hear this Christine.

You are welcome to email me. Anytime.
I am sorry you are struggling in such a hard situation. It's not an easy thing to go through when you love someone and they are your adult or young child. as well. I
Its v hard to talk about too.
I hope you and yr daughter are setting some boundaries that suit your situation (safety wise ) soon ...you would or are doing the right thing to set boundaries. together in writing, maybe even legally would be good.

Enforced living arrangements by a real estate agent or court is sometimes best in the end if all else fails, even though its v hard- or a group home while you think on what to do might be good -easier said than done...
All the best to you, yr daughter and yr family
Hilary
I understand and I am so sorry for your and your son's pain. I get it totally but not many do ... if you need to chat do write back to me . Keep going in the meantime by taking one day at a time and looking after you too x
William
thank you for making the effort to write about this with such honesty and insight . You may be ill but you sound more genuine and likeable than most of the superficial actors we meet everyday . I too have a similar ongoing battle involving much suffering despite perhaps appearing to others as "normal ". I am 60 in 2 weeks and poor mental health ..particularly depression and anxiety took away my ability to lead a normal life no matter how hard I tried . I became an alcoholic for perhaps 30 yrs ..trying to self medicate the feelings away . That almost killed me 7 years ago ..the last time I had a drink . I have no means of escape now but for several decades have believed buddhism offers great healing for us folk . Compassion , wisdom , peace and of course ..living life in the present moment , moment by moment ,..... ...all the things I have yearned for all my life . Good luck and much love from Devon in the UK .
Danielle
I just got into it with a stranger who was driving and didn't slow down like he was supposed to even though I was a pedestrian already in the crosswalk. He was turning into the plaza as I was using the crosswalk and we both hesitated but the default rule is to wait for pedestrians. But after all, he continued rolling passed me as I was half way thru the cross walk when he said out his window "pay attention ..blah blah". thats all I heard because before I knew it, I was shouting back at this car "no you pay attention, you're supposed to slow down for pedestrians" he was still driving but he stopped and put his car in reverse and started to "follow" me to argue. I was just going to my own car not too far into the parking lot. He stops and looks at me while I'm arguing back and they starts to insult my appearance. I was just running errands so I was in some flare yoga pants and a hoodie. My hair was poofy because I had just gotten it freshly colored that morning and it had been blow dried. I wasn't wearing makeup, so apparently he thought I looked like I was "on drugs" he asked me several times if I was high and I said what are you talking about and then he started laughing and calling me a tweaker or junkie. I was so insulted. I'm a woman, he was a man and just because I didn't dress for his gaze (the male gaze) while running errands, he concluded I looked so bad that I was on drugs? I'm so embarrassed and annoyed that this happened. All because he didn't want to slow down for a pedestrian in the cross walk? I can't help but feel like this is some kind of karma from the universe because I do admit that sometimes I am not the most patient or nice person out in public, but I never throw personal insults at people. If I am complaining or verbalizing my displeasure, it is directed at the situation itself rather than personal insults at the participating parties. For example, all I rebuttled back to him was that he needed to be the one to pay attention and later I told him he was very rude for saying I looked like a tweaker. He even pulled out his phone like he was going to start recording the altercation but I drove off hopefully not giving him enough time to make a decent video. I could have insulted him back, but he went straight for personal attacks and it hurt my feelings. I should not have to be insulted just for running errands while not being all done up.
Mags
Curious where this has ended up? As i am in this situation right now