Blogs
In the damp church basements of recovery it is often observed that the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous are in the order they’re in for a good reason and one should work them sequentially. This tenet is underscored because, as a rule, alcoholics are belligerent, defiant, and rebellious in an infantile, pointless sort of way.
Celebrating The Right To Be Wrong
Dipsomaniacs simply must do as they please, no matter how much more difficult, time-consuming, and aggravating their idiosyncratic path may be. Whenever “some assembly” is required, rest assured that the very first thing they did after unpacking the contents was throw away the instructions because – well, why on earth would you rely on the opinion of experts when you have your own complete ignorance, honed to perfection over years of not listening to anyone, nearby?
For a long time I've been interested Shogun-era Japan. I even have a book called Bushido: The Way of the Samurai, which is based on the Hagakure by Tsunetomo Yamamoto. One story in it is called "Story of the Thwarted Ghosts."
Being sick, I think with anything, can be extremely isolating. Being sick, you’re not “like everyone else.” Be it cancer, HIV, diabetes or bipolar disorder, there is a moment when you realize that you’re different and that difference is isolating.
This is a form of internal isolation. But, of course, isolation can be external every bit as much as it can be internal. And sadly, most people with bipolar disorder experience heaps of both.
While brainstorming ideas for this week's blog, I kept noticing that all of the tips and suggestions that our doctors and support groups give us throughout our bipolar recovery are repetitive, and can become frustrating to hear over-and-over again. I always think to myself I do those things! I'm trying! but I always seem to find myself stuck in that rut of hopelessness. I try my best to maintain a regular sleep schedule, I exercise, I track my moods... But while in school, I still feel completely overwhelmed and hopeless as if I haven't learned any coping strategies at all (Bipolar Disorder and the Pressure to Get Better).
So this week, I've decided to do something a little different. While waiting to fall asleep the other night, I created a mental list of little things that may seem silly to some, but that I have realized have helped me throughout my time away at school and during tough times --things that a lot of doctors never really think of or mention to students with bipolar disorder.
A few people have recently asked me how I deal with negative talk about body image when comments are made around me. While the following five tips are my ways of coping, I think they are universal enough to perhaps help you, too, when you find yourself in these types of situations:
I just sent in my life insurance premium. It was due in July. It wasn't entirely my Adult ADHD that lead to my paperwork being incomplete for so long - my wife and I use an online bank and we had ordered new checks months ago and they didn't come until mid-August. That has so little to do, though, with me sending it in tomorrow. If the premium was due late July, I should have sent it in mid-August - not mid-September. Paperwork is one of my least favorite adult needs.
When I’m in a full out major depressive episode (MDE) or on the cusp of one, there are few things that can put me in a positive frame of mind. That’s why it is so important to practice positivity when I’m in depression remission.
In this two-part series, I speak with former Congressman Patrick Kennedy, D-RI, about mental health stigma and the work he and others are doing, not only to combat stigma, but to bring research into brain disorders and illnesses to the forefront. Kennedy is a co-founder of One Mind for Research, a group dedicated to brain disorder research. In this interview, Kennedy speaks about mental health stigma; the role his uncle, President John F. Kennedy played in bringing about treatment to local communities, and the role of post-tramatic stress in the "astronomical" suicide rate of today's veterans.
In the book Hagakure, samurai Tsunetomo Yamamoto writes about an alcoholic samurai. More Than Borderline blog author, Becky Oberg, examines what this tale can teach us about making mistakes.
Grief is a curious thing; especially when the mourner has a mental illness. My mother died a month ago today from a combination of COPD, heart failure, diabetes, brain and bone cancer. Her breast cancer had metastasized to every organ in her body. I found out via my aunt 5 days after her death. I wish that I could say that I was surprised, but my mother had chosen a hard life for years. The surprise was how quickly she died after the brain cancer diagnosis. She was diagnosed in May and given a year to live; she was dead in less than 3 months. My mother and I had what could best be described as an awkward relationship: abandonment as an infant, a lengthy court battle before my grandparents got guardianship and very limited contact throughout my life.
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I know how hard it is for parents to watch a child with mental illness struggle. Know this: you are not alone. Many parents are in this untenable situation.
Your options are very limited for the reasons you have listed. Your son is an adult and get to make his own decisions -- even when those decisions are heavily influenced by an illness. And while some might disagree, the US tends to fall on the side of personal rights, regardless of illness.
If your son is a risk to himself or others, you can see about getting him treated without his consent. (In some States, this is also possible when a person is at a grave threat of decompensation [getting sicker].) I know this is a hard thing to do, but sometimes the only thing that will help someone is the treatment they refuse.
I recommend you check out the Treatment Advocacy Center. They have a hotline and a lot of information online about serious mental illness and treatment of those illnesses: https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/
I also wrote this piece about the situation when help is refused (not associated with HealthyPlace) and it lists some additional resources: https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-blog/person-mental-illness-accept-illness/?swcfpc=1
Finally, I recommend you reach out to other parents in the same situation. You may be able to find these people through groups like NAMI (just Google them). Knowing others facing the same issues can help.
I hope your son is able to get help.
-- Natasha Tracy