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Christopher Lanni has lived with his mother for the last 20 years. She has Alzheimer's disease and he is her caregiver. He wants people to know that in-home alzheimer caregiving is more than just a 24-hour-a-day job.
There are many, many people out there who either blog about issues of mental health or want to. Pretty much every mental illness is represented by people who are earnestly expressing their opinions and experiences. But it’s a jungle out there, in the wooly wilds of the internet. So before you press “post,” please consider how much you want people to know about you.
The answer to "How Do I Stop Verbal Abuse?" is...drum roll, please...You can't! I wish that you could control how another person speaks and how they act. But you can't. Raise your hand if you've ever asked your verbally abusive husband or boyfriend to speak to you in a nicer way. Raise your hand if you've tearfully begged your verbally abusive wife to be kinder to you. Wow. That's a lot of hands. Did it work? No. At least not forever. The next time your abuser felt turmoil, s/he used their anger or sly verbal manipulations to bring you down again because you cannot stop verbal abuse.
Treating anxiety and my self-worth walk the same path, as much as I hate to admit it. When it comes to anxiety and panic - I don't want to see it. I don't want to feel it. I do want to fight it, and I do want to help, or at least find the kind of help that helps. But that is far, far easier said than done. When the way I'm treating anxiety fails, my self-worth falters, too.
A friend of mine recently went to a new psychiatrist, who took her off the one (ineffective) medication she was taking and prescribed several new ones. I asked her the other day how things were going. “I can already see what the problem is going to be with this stuff,” she said. “Remembering to actually take them.”
Last Friday, my oldest son experienced verbal and physical abuse at the hands of his father (my soon to be ex husband). The father with whom the court sent him to live, the father he thought he could trust above everyone else -  that father cornered him, jerked him, poked his forehead and chest, then put him to the ground and choked him.
It’s been a pretty quiet week on the homefront. No real “Boblems” to speak of. I know it won’t last, but I’m enjoying it to the fullest. As always, we are left wondering—to what do we owe the pleasure? Is it the recent increase in Bob’s Focalin dose? The extended period of sunshine we’ve been blessed with? Bob’s bipolar disorder just cycling through to a “baseline” state?
Sometimes, those with bipolar disorder can wake up in the middle of the night, their heart is racing, sweating profusely, maybe feeling very dizzy and they're sure they are going to die. They might be shaking all over and don't understand why.
Yesterday, I came across a picture of a sign I’d taken several months ago while out shopping. The sign was under a display of eye shadow applicators that each contained two different colors and it read, “Split Personality – brings out the best in both of you.” Two shades of make-up, one for each personality. I’m sure someone fancied themselves terribly clever when they came up with that. But as much as I loathe the idea of suiting up with the PC police, I have to say that glamorizing Dissociative Identity Disorder to sell beauty products isn’t at all clever. In fact, I think that the pervasive use of mental illnesses as punch lines undermines efforts to promote understanding and support for people living with them.
Many years ago, I took a prescription drug that had an intolerable side-effect: severe anxiety. I couldn't sit still. I couldn't concentrate. I felt like I was coming out of my skin. After about six weeks I couldn't stand it anymore and my doctor prescribed a different drug. Though I live with chronic, problematic anxiety, it rarely rises to the level of what I experienced while on that drug. I wonder about people who struggle all the time with such severe anxiety and panic attacks. I wouldn't have been able to function if I'd had to keep taking that drug. How do other people cope with debilitating anxiety disorders?

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Comments

Natasha Tracy
Hi Mahevash,

Thank you for reading and leaving that comment. I wrote this piece because I know what it's like to beat yourself for not being able to do what the world says we should be able to. I want us all to stop doing that.

I'm honored to help where I can.

-- Natasha Tracy
Mahevash Shaikh
Hi Devon,

Thank you for your kind words. I am sorry to hear of your struggles and wish you peace, good health, and contentment. Please take care of yourself.

PS I hope you had a wonderful birthday.
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Mahevash Shaikh
This post made me break down and cry like a child. But as I read the last line, I felt relieved to know that there is nothing wrong with me just because I cannot fix my own depression.

I cannot thank you enough for writing this piece, Natasha.
Rachel
Hi, I struggle so much with so many things and one of them is bpd. I have raged, felt out of control and been unable to really keep relationships going. I have found peace, calmness, strengthening, and filling the "void" by my relationship with Jesus. Letting God take the "reigns" of my life has helped me so much. If we let God in, He knows how to heal us and what works best and when. Lean on Him for help, love, serenity, the peace that only He can give. Ask God for help. Ask Him to show up and make Himself real to you. Hope you feel better. He loves you so much. You are worth getting better.