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This is Ben's journey, too.
That's what I sometimes need to remind myself.
Mental Illness and Stigma
Sure, I have become the family spokesperson for our experience with mental illness, since writing a book and this blog about our journey "from chaos to hope" with schizophrenia. Still, when people ask me to come and speak, either in person or in the media, about the issues associated with our situation, they sometimes ask if Ben will come and speak too.
The answer is: No. Not yet, anyway. And I can only hope that Ben's decision is not only respected, but understood.
In my work with PTSD clients, we bump up a lot against "I feel so disconnected from myself!" and "I feel so very separate from the world!" In my own PTSD experience, I too felt a big break between my experience of reality and my connection to myself and my body.
For almost five years, I have struggled and fought to free myself from anorexia.
It has been painful, and full of tears.
It hasn't been easy. Understatement of the year.
This is what has happened:
A panicked flight from Rogers Memorial Hospital's eating disorders program. Eight hospitalizations on the psychiatric unit of an area hospital. Spectacular failure during a six-week stay at the River Centre Clinic. Plunging into alcohol and drug abuse. Multiple relapses.
Now I can finally see the other side.
In a state of psychosis, one can glimpse into alternate states of reality deep within the subconscious. It is here, within this realm, where one's deepest fears materialize into perceived physical existence. The myth of "disorganized thinking" becomes all too apparent under its spell. Inside, one can see the rationale behind the unthinkable and illogical. Delusions become neatly organized and aligned in such a way as to create a fictitious world filled with terror. Outside this universe, one is forced to become a judgmental spectator, unable to rationalize seemingly immoral and "disorganized" behavior.
Co-morbidity is a fancy way of saying "two or more co-occuring diagnoses." Many people with borderline personality disorder also have depression. In this video, More Than Borderline's, Becky Oberg, talks about depression symptoms and causes of depression.
The exposure to media has a detrimental effect on girls’ self-esteem which can begin in her elementary years. Discover ways to raise a media savvy daughter and build self-esteem that will last a lifetime.
“I hate wait.” – Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride
I hate waiting rooms. I know this hardly makes me unique, but I suspect my hatred is more pronounced due to the amount of time I spend in them. Stale magazines. Old furniture. “Art.” Institutional beige walls.
Ick, ick, ick.
I have had chronically on-time doctors and chronically late doctors but no matter what, somehow, in a waiting room, it feels like your life is wasting away.
When we are first given the diagnosis of mental illness, our lives feel as if they are suddenly taken from us. Ripped from our hands. We are used to leaving our home when we please, eating when we are hungry or picking up the phone and calling someone. Once we have been diagnosed, we quickly find out: Our life is no longer entirely ours! And that, that, is scary.
Co-Dependence is often the silent partner of the addictive relationship. There are several characteristics of addiction including denial, compliance and control. With the proper help, recovery is possible.
Do you look to nature to ease your anxiety? If not, please try it!
Forest Bathing
Recently it has been all over the internet how Japanese scientists have discovered that the scent of trees, the sound of brooks, and the feel of sunshine have a calming effect. Japanese engage in an activity they call shinrin-yoku, "forest bathing." And we can all do this.
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I know how hard it is for parents to watch a child with mental illness struggle. Know this: you are not alone. Many parents are in this untenable situation.
Your options are very limited for the reasons you have listed. Your son is an adult and get to make his own decisions -- even when those decisions are heavily influenced by an illness. And while some might disagree, the US tends to fall on the side of personal rights, regardless of illness.
If your son is a risk to himself or others, you can see about getting him treated without his consent. (In some States, this is also possible when a person is at a grave threat of decompensation [getting sicker].) I know this is a hard thing to do, but sometimes the only thing that will help someone is the treatment they refuse.
I recommend you check out the Treatment Advocacy Center. They have a hotline and a lot of information online about serious mental illness and treatment of those illnesses: https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/
I also wrote this piece about the situation when help is refused (not associated with HealthyPlace) and it lists some additional resources: https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-blog/person-mental-illness-accept-illness/?swcfpc=1
Finally, I recommend you reach out to other parents in the same situation. You may be able to find these people through groups like NAMI (just Google them). Knowing others facing the same issues can help.
I hope your son is able to get help.
-- Natasha Tracy