High expectations of yourself and others (and situations!) can keep you anxious by telling you you are inadequate, that things are out of control, and that you cannot handle them. This will start the spin cycle of anxiety. You will get anxious, anxiety will say "See I told you you couldn't do this!" and then more anxiety ensues feeding even more negative self talk. Your confidence goes in the toilet and which gives you more evidence you are a failure at life. Do you want to stop this spin cycle?

If you have PTSD then you know what it’s like to feel unable to control your emotions. You’re walking along having a fine day when all of a sudden you hear a siren or a car backfires and you hit the deck or hide in the bushes. Or, you’re feeling completely at ease in a conversation with someone and then all of a sudden a huge wave of anger courses through you and you react with vicious words and vehement aggression. What’s happening in these instances? Your brain is processing information that makes it feel in danger, which causes it to send messages to your body, which activates your sympathetic nervous system that leads you to respond in either fight, flight or freeze. Bottomline: Typical of anyone with PTSD you’re having trouble regulating your emotions. Not to worry, there are ways to counteract this.

Giving the talk about mental illness has been one of the challenges I’ve faced as Bob’s mother (and a therapist). In Bob’s case, it has been teaching others about his ADHD.  Teamwork doesn't always happen. There are some people who don’t buy into the idea that mental illness exists. So, I teach them about it. One of those people is my father.

It’s an undeniable fact - most New Year’s resolutions fail. Not because we don’t want to improve our situation or have a lack of motivation – we do! The truth is, most of us don’t take the time to really create goals that will work for us. When January 1st rolls around, there’s tremendous pressure to outline goals and resolutions for the next 365 days. Many of us are exhausted from the holiday celebrations and we jump into kneejerk promises- lose weight, focus more, etc. We don’t take the time to really assess where we hurt or dream the most.

Did you see that crazy guy on the sidewalk? Hear about that nutcase at the party last night? We hear things like this all the time and rarely pay attention to them. After all, we’ve always been told that sticks and stones can break our bones, but names can never hurt us. Although it’s a nice thing to tell yourself when you’re a kid being bullied, the truth is that words hurt. And words that describe mental illness in such broad, often sensationalistic manner do a great deal of harm.

A symptom of PTSD is reliving the abuse, the trauma, repeatedly in the form of flashbacks, nightmares and intrusive memories. I believe there's another piece of the PTSD puzzle in reliving abuse by hearing the abuser's voice in your head--repeatedly, intrusively, . . . so ingrained a memory that it speaks in the abuser's voice without us realizing it is only the abuser's voice. It's only a memory. Reliving verbal abuse in the context of PTSD makes me forget that the abusive voice is not my own.

Dr. Otto Wahl of George Mason University once said that knowledge and understanding of severe mental illness would lead to a reduction of the stigma attached to mental illness. Again and again, Wahl writes that speaking out about severe mental illness is key to reducing stigma. So here's what I wish people understood about mental illness.

How many times has someone asked you in passing, “How are you?” And you’ve responded with the common, “Good. How are you?” - even when you’re not feeling your best? Our culture often doesn’t give us permission to share our frustrations, all the different kinds of stress, or our fears and anxiety. We often want to be perceived as superheroes who can handle anything that comes our way. But, in reality, we are all dealing with something, whether we are moving to a new home, getting married, struggling with a project at work, or feeling overwhelmed by demands from friends and family. We often need a break from daily pressures and we rarely give ourselves permission to take one. The prescription: A mental health moment.

When I look back over my time in addiction recovery, it would seem that this process was linear. In other words, it would appear that there was some kind of flow that provided me with a sense of well-being and confidence that I would no longer have to worry about picking up a drink or drug again. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. The reality, for me, is that recovery from addiction rarely occurs in a straight line.

This post was derived from a couple of different sources. One, a few insightful comments readers made on why living with a mental illness makes us exhausted. This post focused on a few of the reasons why mental illness can cause exhaustion in those who live with, and experience it, on a daily basis. These readers stressed that they struggled with exhaustion and pain living with, and supporting, those who struggle with mental health. Two, comments from people living with mental illness that could relate to my post, could relate to the feelings surrounding mental illness and the coinciding exhaustion (Can People Without a Mental Illness Understand Us?). I started thinking and decided that this topic should be explored--both sides of it.