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When I have racing thoughts, feel overwhelmed, and feel like things are out of control, it becomes a major struggle to feel a sense of calm. Calmness, when you're anxious, becomes difficult to achieve, at least at the moment, because it's so hard to quiet all of the other thoughts and resulting symptoms that accompany anxiety, especially when you experience a panic attack. So, then I try to pull myself away from being overstimulated.
In my experience, adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) creates strong impulsivity. For me, that means buying unnecessary items, diving into uncertain situations without proper consideration, and being a poor conversationalist.
Each summer, I am greeted by a familiar experience. I shake my routines and try to squeeze in being outside and seeing people I haven't seen in a while. Summer draws out my restless, ambitious side. I've realized in previous summers that this frenzy of activity affects the routine that keeps me in recovery from binge eating disorder (BED). This summer, I am reminding myself what I need to do to savor the summer months while not engaging in eating disorder behavior.
Saying goodbye is never easy, but it is crucial because everything ends. After writing for three years for "Work and Bipolar or Depression," my journey has taken a bittersweet turn. This is my last post about work and depression, and I want to express my gratitude to team HealthyPlace and my readers.
When I first began experiencing the onset of depression, I was confused and terrified. Although vague and patchy, at the time, I did have a basic understanding of how the disease typically presented itself in individuals. I was adamant that what I felt was not synonymous with someone who was depressed. The emotions I was experiencing didn't align with the accounts of other individuals who had experienced depression. Not only was I confused and terrified, but I also felt like an outcast in the community that theoretically should have provided me with solace.
Verbal abuse can rear its ugly head anywhere to anyone, including children in a school setting. Unfortunately, it can be more than a child's peers who use name-calling or teasing to get the attention they want. In some situations, the trusted adults in the classroom who receive payment to guide our children and help them learn are the ones throwing around insults and demeaning kids. Verbal abuse can happen at school.
Writing has always been a healthy outlet for me to process and express my feelings. I have been writing since I was a young girl, and it has helped me through some of the darkest periods in my life. Throughout my time writing for HealthyPlace, I have had some incredible personal breakthroughs and have been able to connect with many others who battle similar demons. However, my path has taken me in a different direction, and I am saying a final goodbye to my readers within the "Debunking Addiction" blog.
Regardless of the methods involved, self-harm can make you tired in ways you might never have expected.
Technology is no doubt distracting. Our phones are constantly buzzing with notifications, and apps are vying for our attention so they can increase their revenue from advertisers. Shows are increasingly binge-worthy, video games have evolved to the graphical fidelity of live-action films, and the endless sea of content gets larger and larger each day. For people with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), who already struggle to focus, the engrossing pull of technology is all the stronger.
When I drive through the familiar streets of my hometown, I experience a sharp realization that time is passing. My family is older, and my hair is thinning and greying. My friends have moved to different cities or states. I notice I feel completely different about my life and my future compared to when I was growing up with an eating disorder. My experience with eating disorders, and specifically binge eating disorder (BED), used to suck the vitality out of my life and leave behind a rigid pattern of living that made me dread my future.
A few months later, I knew that I had a problem. So, I decided to take care of my mental health myself a looked-up ways to cope and help me get better. A couple of months, IT DID!! I wasn't completely healed but tactics like the Box Breathing method and the Name 5 Things you can smell (or something like that) kind of helped me stay grounded. But because I never received the treatment that I needed it never went away.
My first panic attack was scary, I kept on sobbing rocking back and fourth. I tried to stay quiet, so that my parents wouldn't find out. But to keep myself quiet I would bite, scratch myself, or repeatedly tell myself to shut up. And then I would get suicidal thoughts and find out ways to try to kill myself. But during all of this, there would be a part of me terrified that I might just kill myself.
I don't really get a lot of these types of panic attacks. But they are mostly cause by a verbal fight between my parents sending my thoughts to spiral out of control. I do plan on getting help from a professional when I move out, which won't be for a while. But for the mean time, I just really want answers from someone who can help me that won't charge money and can keep it from my parents. I honestly don't know what to do! I'm just a kid trying to fix the mess she's in!
Sorry if it's a lot to take in, it is for me too ':)
Thank you for reaching out. I am so sorry to hear that you are in such distress. I know it can be difficult, but please consider seek out a mental health resource that can assist you. HealthyPlace's list of hotline numbers is a useful place to start. Here's a link to find the contact information: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources.
Sincerely,
Mary-Elizabeth Schurrer
HealthyPlace Comment Moderator