Juliana Sabatello
You've probably seen that quote floating around the Internet, often attributed to Marylin Monroe: "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."1 People who like this quote might take it to mean that people who walk away from us in hard times don't deserve to be in our lives during the happy times. I agree with this sentiment, but the wording doesn't quite sit right with me.
Unfortunately, too often, many individuals will repeat the behaviors that they endured, continuing the damaging cycle for years. For anyone who has fallen victim to verbal abuse and its effects, finding healing and healthy relationships onward can be vital to help break the cycle of verbal abuse.
I don't like to feel lazy. I understand the importance of taking breaks for mental health reasons, but I tend to push it until the very last moment (read: until my body and mind force me to slow down). Contrary to what I wish were true, it's better to take breaks for mental health more often, even if you don't feel like you need them.
Whether short-term or chronic, health concerns can cause anxiety and stress. Signs and symptoms of health-related anxiety and stress can range from mildly annoying to completely disruptive and debilitating. The signs might be obvious, or they might hide as something else. Here's what health anxiety and stress may look like to help you recognize them and take charge.
I’ve discussed my love of music on this blog a couple of times in the past. Though my tastes in music can be somewhat wide-ranging, without question, my genre of choice is metal. That may take some readers by surprise – metal seems like a kind of music that someone with anxiety would hate, given its reputation for being angry and abrasive. In this post, I want to go into a bit of detail with regards to why I like it and why metal helps my anxiety.
When I had few responsibilities, I could afford to mope at home, overindulge on substances, and be generally destructive. However, now that I have greater purpose and obligations, my borderline personality disorder (BPD) symptoms are much less severe. Therefore, I believe that responsibility has an important role in BPD recovery.
Self-injury often travels with certain psychiatric conditions. One such example is bipolar self-harm. This is not necessarily a symptom of bipolar disorder, but I think many bipolar patients ended up hurting themselves at some point in their lives. Why do we do it? As always, self-harm is a complex phenomenon, so I may not have all the answers, but I can share my own experience in this post.
No matter how many conversations are had or how many awareness efforts take place when it comes to suicide prevention, it seems society doesn't know how to make a positive difference. I get it. Death is a hard thing for people in general, and suicide grates harder against that. I'm here to share some dos and don'ts for suicide prevention that can help. (Note: This post has a content warning.)
Friends come and go in life. Some friendships end after fights or abuse. Other friendships simply fade due to busy lives. The good news is that you might get a chance to rekindle a friendship. Social media makes it easy to reconnect. You could also encounter a former friend by being at the same place at the same time. The question becomes whether rebuilding a friendship with someone is healthy. If you struggle with anxiety, the decision to rekindle a friendship can seem overwhelming. Read this post to learn about questions you should ask yourself before you decide to rekindle a friendship.
We live in a society where casual sex is a normal part of dating culture. There is, of course, nothing wrong with a casual hookup between consenting adults, but for demisexual folks (people who only experience sexual attraction after forming an emotional connection), dating and intimate relationships can be a bit harder to navigate -- in no small part because there are still a lot of misconceptions about what demisexuality is and is not. These misconceptions not only put a strain on our relationships but on our mental health as well.

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Natasha Tracy
Hi William,

I assure you, your feelings matter. Even if your feelings are over-the-top, they still matter. And even if you're overly emotional, you still matter too.

You didn't create your feelings. We can't control our feelings. That's a fact. However, we do need to decide what to do with them. It sounds like you're aware that sometimes they are out-of-scale with the situation -- okay, that's great, that shows insight. Now you just need to be able to communicate that to others in a way that helps them and you.

I recommend getting a hold of my book (not endorsed by HealthyPlace). It really can help:

You could also see a therapist. You should see someone who is very experienced in your particular illness, though, as not all therapists are for all things.

I know what it's like to feel lost and yes, this illness is confusing, but it's like a jungle -- you can work your way through it a little bit at a time, with help.

-- Natasha Tracy
Natasha Tracy
Hi Charlotte,

I'm sorry you self-harmed. I know the kind of pain that drives a person to do that. I've been there. I used to self-harm (especially as a teen).

You are in a difficult situation and I don't think you're going to like my answer, but you need to tell your parents. Telling your parents on your own terms is much better than them finding out in any other way (like when you're shopping). Sit one or both of them down and just tell them what is happening for you. It may not be easy, but it is worth doing. They care for you. They can help you.

I know there is a big fear around going to a hospital but that's not typically the first step for people. The first step for people who self-harm is usually therapy. There are therapists who can help you with that behavior so you understand why you do it and so you don't do it again.

What I suggest is that right now, you call a helpline and talk to them. They will listen to you and provide support. They may even be able to support you with talking to your parents. A school counselor might also be able to help.

The short story, though, is this: self-harm is not a helpful coping skill in the long run and it's something you need to get help with to stop. Telling your parents can start that process.

You can do this.

- Natasha Tracy
Elizabeth Caudy
Dear John, Thanks for your comment. I never felt really hopeless, it's just that I'm new to experiencing chronic pain and it's scary. But then I found out a lot of people my age live with chronic pain, and while I feel bad for them because this stinks, it makes me feel less alone. I always love hearing your thoughts on my articles! Thanks for reading! Love, Biddit
Mary-Elizabeth Schurrer

Thank you for reaching out to share. I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing constant verbal abuse and that your husband will not intervene to protect you from this treatment. Please know that you are welcome in this community—there is a place for you here where abuse is not tolerated.

Mary-Elizabeth Schurrer
HealthyPlace Comment Moderator
I have fresh wounds on my wrist.
I'm seeing a psychiatrist for my mental health.
But I don't want my parents to find out, because I feel like I've let them down.
I'm already wearing self made bracelets, but sometimes they fall down. And when they do, I'm scared someone will see.
I'm terrible at makeup, and I can't wear long sleeves (I literally always roll them up, even in winter).
Is there anything else I can try?