Blogs
It may be a new year but old trauma topics continue to be relevant! I’ve written before about how important it is to move slowly in recovery. A few years ago, I worked with a client, Anna, who refused to heed this advice. When she had a small success in healing, she took that as license to go full speed ahead – and always slammed herself into a wall, had a meltdown and had to start over again.
I’m no stranger to this cycle. I, too, had to learn to take myself down a notch or two from warp speed. It makes total sense that we do this. After trauma speed can be comforting as it stops us from spending too much time in situations or uncomfortable places in our minds. Plus, the road to healing is long and frustrating, which makes you just want to get it over with fast!
Instead of recapping what it means to pace yourself in recovery, today I’m mulling over what it means to pace yourself in your emotions.
Hiya readers! According to Brownielocks, January 4th, 2013 was Trivia Day. So I wanted to share more about Bob's (and mine) journey with ADHD by sharing some ADHD trivia. Hope you enjoy it!
tneely
This time of year, everyone but me seems to be in the “New Year, New Me” spirit. Sure, the phrase is catchy enough; but I like who I am just fine and I have no interest in continuously obsessing about my weaknesses, failures and limitations. For me, self-acceptance is the way to grow.
On the surface, I don’t see anything wrong with having the desire to grow and improve yourself. And I know that the desire to be a better you doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t like who you are at the moment. But for those of us struggling with self-acceptance, “self-improvement” can become just another hammer to beat ourselves over the head with.
Mental illness is a daunting subject matter for anyone. Thinking of how to approach a conversation about bipolar disorder would scare the pants off of the most politically correct of animals.
And yet conversations about mental illness must be had if we are to propagate understanding among those with a mental illness and among those who don’t. And it’s brave of someone, anyone, to want to start the conversation about bipolar disorder or another mental illness, knowing how much stigma is out there.
But is there a “right” way to handle talking about mental illness?
I didn't plan on making a part three to this series, but a lawsuit in Indiana just made it important. The lawsuit charged that it was inhumane and a violation of the Eighth Amendment's prohibition of cruel and unusual punishment to keep inmates with mental illness in segregation (isolation) with no access to "minimally adequate" treatment.
For many an addict, abstinence from mind and mood altering chemicals is a significant achievement. Addiction has a way of tearing apart a person in ways that are incredibly damaging. In addition, there is typically a great deal of fall out that results from a person’s self-destructive behavior.
A noticeable absence in the mental health community's mentioning of the debilitating condition is agoraphobia. This same pattern has been found in so many other areas: in books, in therapy, and in cultural society. Like many mental illnesses, agoraphobia can be a very lonely, misunderstood, and hushed condition. Not only offline, but online as well.
My last blog focused on the importance of not diagnosing your mental health symptoms yourself! This blog will focus on not treating symptoms of relapse without consulting with your mental health care team first. Yes, I know, this post might seem a little boring but it's important so please keep reading--note: you can leave me a comment stating you fell asleep around 300 words. I will refrain from being offended.
I have a guest blogger this week - and she is in High School. Her name is Eliana Yashgur, and she attends Hebrew High School in New England. She wrote to me after reading Ben Behind His Voices, and shared her essay with me, which was a runner-up finalist in a contest competition run by a neuropsychiatry lab at which she hopes to intern this summer. I was so impressed by her work that I asked her to be my guest blogger.
That lab would be lucky to hire her!
If a high school student gets it, let's hope the word will spread. HealthyPlace is doing its part to stand up for mental health. So is Eliana, so can we all.
The abusive relationship begins like many others. Two people meet, make a connection, and fall in love. Their love seems beautiful to family and friends...except for one or two things that seem, well, odd...but every relationship has problems. Right? After all, there are no fairy-tales in the real world.
For ease of writing only, the victim in our story is a princess, the abuser is a knight, and the victim's friends are the loving animals of the forest.
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I know how hard it is for parents to watch a child with mental illness struggle. Know this: you are not alone. Many parents are in this untenable situation.
Your options are very limited for the reasons you have listed. Your son is an adult and get to make his own decisions -- even when those decisions are heavily influenced by an illness. And while some might disagree, the US tends to fall on the side of personal rights, regardless of illness.
If your son is a risk to himself or others, you can see about getting him treated without his consent. (In some States, this is also possible when a person is at a grave threat of decompensation [getting sicker].) I know this is a hard thing to do, but sometimes the only thing that will help someone is the treatment they refuse.
I recommend you check out the Treatment Advocacy Center. They have a hotline and a lot of information online about serious mental illness and treatment of those illnesses: https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/
I also wrote this piece about the situation when help is refused (not associated with HealthyPlace) and it lists some additional resources: https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-blog/person-mental-illness-accept-illness/?swcfpc=1
Finally, I recommend you reach out to other parents in the same situation. You may be able to find these people through groups like NAMI (just Google them). Knowing others facing the same issues can help.
I hope your son is able to get help.
-- Natasha Tracy