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Welcome to Anxiety Schmanxiety Blog!
Jodi is licensed clinical social worker and former anxiety sufferer. She is a counselor, mother, healer, lover, teacher, author and friend. She has been counseling children and adults since 1994, working with folks online and in her office.
No kidding! I am telling you what you already know. I might be telling you how you felt when you opened your eyes this morning. But let's start at the beginning. Let's recall, and sorry to drag you back to this time, the first time you were diagnosed with a mental illness.
The Diagnosis
"Natalie, you have bipolar disorder."
A whopping twelve years old when these words were thrown on the table. My reaction? How exhausting! The years before the diagnosis? Bloody exhausting!
Next: A small amount of relief. Above all, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired but my life wasn't about to get any easier, no, it was time to try on medication's, fingers crossed they worked, and then fall, defeated, beaten, when they did not.
But this isn't my story. It's probably yours as well. Or, it's the story of someone you love. It hurts to watch them suffer.
Side-Effects, Complications, From Medication
Recovering from mental illness involves medication and medication is exhausting.
Teenagers stand on the brink of discovering who they are. It's a magical time, full of opportunity and promise. Teens have the advantage of constant contact with their peers and adult role models via personal phones and the Internet's vast array of video chat, picture sharing, social networking, and all the rest. Teens are connected in ways we couldn't be at their age. Like so many other great possibilities, this connectedness can be both a blessing and a curse.
This time of year, I am always reminded of the first half of 2008--the year I admitted Bob to inpatient psychiatric treatment not once, but twice. I suppose it's because this is the same time of year, or because it's the season when Bob experiences more manic-type symptoms. Apparently, it's on Bob's mind, too.
This month is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Why do teens get their own month? The signs and symptoms of teen dating abuse are the same as domestic abuse, so why can't the kids just read our grown-up sites? They've always gotta be so hard-headed!
Every so often, I am reminded that my son Ben still has to work hard to stay focused on the world as we all know it: work, play, conversations, whatever we are watching on TV. Without his medications, that feat is nearly impossible; with treatment, it's certainly easier. But not without effort. Not without strength.
The issue with feeling unlovable. The issue? It can be an issue and pardon me for being redundant here. The topic for this post was derived from a comment a reader made. This person mentioned the word unlovable in the context of mental illness. I quickly scribbled the word down and put it away for a couple days.
I open my day-timer today and see the word, UNLOVEABLE, written in large and bold text by my own hands. I sort of grimaced, watching the rain fall from a gray sky outside my window, and wondered if I really had to put it in bold, I mean, it's not as if I have no experience with feeling unlovable. I feel it often, and if you struggle with mental illness, well, perhaps you do too.
Most, including myself, would argue that, particularly without treatment, bipolar disorder is a decrease in functioning. Untreated depression and mania disrupt every part of a life in negative ways – that’s what drives people to get treatment in the first place.
But if bipolar disorder is an illness and is a decrease in functioning, why hasn’t evolution naturally selected out bipolar disorder? Why do we still see bipolar disorder today?
People with ADHD are often eager to explore all the possibilities of better managing their ADHD challenges. Even though studies show that medication is up to 70-80% effective in reducing the core symptoms of ADHD (inattention, impulsivity and distractibility), there is no “magic pill” that alleviates all the struggles or cures ADHD. The impact of ADHD is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and most ADHD medications wear off within 4-12 hours. That leaves many hours in the day that often require alternative ways of coping with and managing ADHD symptoms.
Ongoing Problems Lead to a Second Inpatient Hospitalization
My recent posts have described my experiences with Bob and inpatient psychiatric treatment. I'm not sure why I'm revisiting that experience now, other than Bob's currently doing relatively well and I don't think I've previously detailed his hospitalizations here. Reading my own words, I'm amazed at how far we've come--and worried about the future.
My point being, I'm right there with you. I hate the rollercoaster. I just want to live life without being in a state of constant fight or flight mode, only for his character to change and de-escalate and I fall for the person I fell for all over again.
Exhausting is a horrible word. The understatement of all understatements, if you will.
I wish there were better support groups for this kind of mental health condition.