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I know this seems like an odd question, but I was considering it this morning (in my shower). It is a common problem for people with a mental illness. I have a tendency to avoid showering (really) and I know of others with a mental illness have gone weeks without showering. So, if all we’re talking about is standing in some warm water, why don’t we want to shower?
In an abusive relationship, it is important for abuse victims to realize the warning signs of impending abuse. We need to know that the relationship is a battleground ready to erupt in controlled violence at any second. You, the targeted victim, can learn to predict when abuse is about to happen if you pay attention to tell-tale signs within yourself and broadcast by your abuser. I can tell you what happened within me before abuse erupted, and my hope is that you will be able to use the examples in my list to recognize and write down your warning signs of impending abuse too.
Andrea Roe lived with anorexia and bulimia for 6 years. Now that she's healthy again, it is her passion to raise awareness about these misunderstood disorders and share her story to let others still struggling know that there is hope, and full eating disorder recovery really is possible.
When I was in college I confided in a friend about an incident at a party that left me feeling taken advantage of. Initially I was taken aback by her outrage on my behalf. A few days later, I was equally shocked by her hostility towards me. It took many years before I understood that Dissociative Identity Disorder played such a large role in the party incident that I came away with an impression of it that wasn't accurate at all. By reporting it to my friend, I essentially told a lie, though I didn't realize it at the time. Today her wildly varying reactions make sense to me because I have a much better understanding of the potential pitfalls of my dissociative memory.
Angela is taking the next couple of weeks off, but will hopefully be returning towards the end of March. In the meantime, please enjoy her other wonderful articles on eating disorders. As always, your thoughts and comments are welcome. Thank you.
I spend a lot of time complaining about the ignorance of others--those who don't understand pediatric psychiatric illness and, therefore, use my child to educate themselves (or, even worse, try to educate me about my child). Particularly bothersome are people who seem to think every. single. undesirable behavior is directly related to Bob's psychiatric diagnoses (bipolar disorder and ADHD). It's maddening trying to explain to them not every issue is Bob-specific, that some behaviors are common to all children. It's even worse when the offender is...me.
People throw around the word “depression” as if that word means only one thing. This is far from the case, therapeutically speaking. I would suggest there are mild, moderate or severe, relapsing/remitting or chronic depressions. Doing the basic math, that’s six types right there and we haven’t even taken into account treatment-resistant depression, or the depression subtypes noted in the DSM. Depression is not a disease; it’s a cluster of diseases.
The Courage to Heal is a self-help book – “A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse” - that has enjoyed widespread popularity among both those living with Dissociative Identity Disorder and many of their treatment providers since its first publication in 1988. I first read it six years ago and found it helpful in some ways. But subsequent readings have illuminated for me the book’s biggest flaw: its reckless approach to traumatic memory.
Managing anxiety: "Sitting with emotion"? Totally useless chapter in The Psychiatrists' Guide to WTF is Up with My Brain (AKA DSM-IV), or are people greater than the sum of their parts? Sometimes I get so anxious I don't know what to do, so I won't do anything. Just in case I make things worse, or my fears are true. How do you deal with the very real issues that keep you stuck in old patterns, between a rock and a wall of ever more intolerable panic? Psychologists talk about learning to be with anxiety. But it's an idea, a theory, and I can't always do it.
This week I am fortunate to be in New Hampshire on business. (How fun was it to write that statement?! Me on a business trip!) I used to think I would never have a job that I love that allowed me to travel even sporadically, but I do, and I am grateful. Yesterday, our facilitator mentioned a factor of leadership which was "information-seeking questions" and how to ask them without making the person you're asking feel defensive. The problem is in the wording. For example, a question beginning with "Why do you...?", especially when asked during a personal conflict, can easily escalate the conversation into anger and defensiveness. Why?

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Mags
Curious where this has ended up? As i am in this situation right now
Dawn Gressard
If it were only that easy... I agree. To alleviate anxiety, you have to have coping skills or a list of things (a toolbox, so to speak) that help you retake control of your brain. This, then, hopefully, lessens the anxiety so you can work your way through whatever it is that has triggered your fear more healthily.
nils
Wonderful that "instead of being anxious, don't be anxious!" works for you. However, if it was that easy everyone would be doing it.
Joseph
I am.learning to better understand my partner who.has been diagnosed with D.I.D and I appreciate your blogs. Thank you for helping me to better understand and be loving.
Joseph A
I am trying to learn all that I can about D.I.D because my partner has been diagnosed with it. We are trying to renew a relationship. We have a daughter together and have a 17 year history. I was released from prison. Almost two months ago after 6 years. She had expressed to me that she was diagnosed, but I didn't really understand all that entails. She transitioned one night about two weeks ago and I was there and actually experienced it. When we were together in the past it was all pre diagnoses. I am trying to better understand her and how I can best love and support her. I have felt rejected since I came home and now I am starting to understand her need to feel safe, secure, and stable in order to share any kind of intimacy with me. After reading your article and watching the video I see how she had been trying to be intimate with me emotionally, intellectually, recreational, and spiritually. This is all very new to me and my love language has always been touch and affection...which I am.learning is hard for her these days. I just wanted to say thank you. I will continue to try to understand and love her and this platform has been very helpful.