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It's May: Mental Health Awareness Month - and I hope you had a great Mothers' Day on Sunday.
Last week, I had the opportunity to present at the APA (American Psychiatric Association) 165th Annual Conference, about the value of a "therapeutic alliance" between caregivers (often families), healthcare providers, and PAMIs (Person Affected by Mental Illness -a word I use instead of "patient"). My co-presenter was Peter J.Weiden, MD, who advocates for the same respect, partnership and open communication.
My "credentials", next to his "MD"? Randye Kaye, MRG (Mom who Refused to Give up). Yes, I have other letters that could go after my name - but those are the ones that really matter as I speak to audiences about our family journey.
For me, my early addiction recovery program was made up of many questions and few answers. My major question was, “What do I do now?” At the time, I was unclear as what to do in addiction recovery. But if I had the opportunity to magically go back in time, I would work through my early addiction recovery program as I lay it out for you here. These are the early addiction recovery program essentials.
I have been so excited about writing for HealthyPlace that I have had trouble focusing on exactly where to begin. Ha! Can you imagine a person with ADHD not being focused? Of course you can! It's a hallmark of the disorder. What may be harder to imagine is a person with ADHD who is so focused that it is, as Dr. Larry Silver notes in an ADDitude article, "...difficult for anyone to 'reach' and interact with a person."
It is 11:22 p.m. and I'm still staring at the blank computer screen. My head hurts. My stomach feels queasy. I'm tired.
The worst part? I struggled to eat today. Not because the eating disorder voice hammered at me. Not because I felt compelled to lose weight.
But because I simply did not feel hungry.
Stress kills my appetite. Now I have to make sure it doesn't kill my recovery from anorexia.
There is an interesting, if perhaps disturbing, phenomenon in psychopharmacological drug treatment. It is the instance where a person initially has a satisfactory response to a medication, getting well, and perhaps staying well for years, only to have the illness come back at a random time in the future. The medication just “stopped” working. We have known about this for a long time with many drugs including antidepressants and anticonvulsants (mood stabilizers) and it’s sometimes referred to as antidepressant “poop-out” (I kid you not).
But this phenomenon goes against even the most basic understanding of medication, so why is it happening?
I try not to ask myself "Will I stay well?" too often. But it sort of lurks in the back of my psyche until, finally, I am confronted with it. That's part of living with a mental illness--whether it is chronic or in passing--and it's tough. Really tough. But what about before you were properly diagnosed?
You know someone who has a mental illness. You actually probably know tens of people with mental illnesses. There’s a twenty percent chance that you have a mental illness yourself.
Happy Mother's Day to mamas, moms, memes, and mommys everywhere! I hope your day is full of appreciation, love, and peace. You deserve to be treated as a queen, not just today, but every day.
But we all know that's not how it happens, don't we? Kids don't understand our sacrifices, husbands tend to forget and sometimes take advantage of our willingness to wait. Mother's tend to be instant gratification machines, and all it takes to activate us is the call, "Mo-o-om! Come see!"
It's dark when I pull into the parking lot. I'm nervous--will he have what I need? Will the price have gone up? What if I can't get it? How will I get through tomorrow--the next day, the day after that--if I don't? My fears are unrecognized, but I can't help noticing the smug, disapproving look on his face as he hands me what I came for.
This isn't a back-alley drug deal; it's a simple transaction between me and my pharmacist. So why do I still feel like a common junkie?
Bipolar is a disease that takes over your brain – well, parts of your brain anyway – and these affected parts of your brain change your psychology right along with them. So once when you felt “normal” or let’s say, average, you now feel utterly destroyed. Your emotions are altered thanks to the attack on your brain.
And what’s worse about this is that bipolar or depression fundamentally changes who you think you are at that moment. If you used to be a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky sort, in a depression, nothing could be farther from the truth. When manic, all your thoughtful, careful ways become things of the past. You can barely identify with the person you were pre-mood.
And perhaps even worse than all that is that some part of you sees this dissonance. You know that who you are at that moment isn’t who you really are. It’s like someone else, a crazy person, moved right into your head and body and coopted your life. Bipolar snatched your body and brain.
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I know how hard it is for parents to watch a child with mental illness struggle. Know this: you are not alone. Many parents are in this untenable situation.
Your options are very limited for the reasons you have listed. Your son is an adult and get to make his own decisions -- even when those decisions are heavily influenced by an illness. And while some might disagree, the US tends to fall on the side of personal rights, regardless of illness.
If your son is a risk to himself or others, you can see about getting him treated without his consent. (In some States, this is also possible when a person is at a grave threat of decompensation [getting sicker].) I know this is a hard thing to do, but sometimes the only thing that will help someone is the treatment they refuse.
I recommend you check out the Treatment Advocacy Center. They have a hotline and a lot of information online about serious mental illness and treatment of those illnesses: https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/
I also wrote this piece about the situation when help is refused (not associated with HealthyPlace) and it lists some additional resources: https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-blog/person-mental-illness-accept-illness/?swcfpc=1
Finally, I recommend you reach out to other parents in the same situation. You may be able to find these people through groups like NAMI (just Google them). Knowing others facing the same issues can help.
I hope your son is able to get help.
-- Natasha Tracy