Blogs
I have a confession to make--I'm not feeling the Christmas Spirit.
This is especially disconcerting because my diagnosis of borderline personality disorder tells me I "should" feel a certain way. I should be happy, generous, loving, especially kind to people I've never met or don't like. I should buy gifts for everyone dear to me. I should single-handedly bail the post office out of bankruptcy by sending Christmas cards.
But I don't, and I don't really care who knows it. To be honest, I feel like Beck-anezer Scrooge--Bah, Humbug! And that's okay.
Recently, someone who was new to the world of bipolar disorder asked me if there was a cure for bipolar disorder or if he had to live like this forever. I had to, of course, tell him there is no cure. I felt like I was telling him his dog was about to die. I felt like knowing this, he might give up.
It would be lovely if the diagnosis of mental illness came with a prescription for recovery that was given to all of us. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder? take this pill, you will be fine. You will be recovered! That would be nice, perfect, what a fantastic dream! Then you wake up. You take your medication. That's the reality.
Recovery is different for all of this: treatment is never the same. Some of us, once diagnosed and treated, experience no symptoms of all. On the flip side, some of us struggle on a day to day basis.
Holiday gift giving is stressful enough, but shopping for the mentally ill presents an additional layer of challenges. Your friends at Funny In The Head are here to assist, with thoughtful tips that will help you navigate these emotionally demanding situations. Just think of us as an online elf-help group.
As a victim of abuse, my abuser held me to an impossible standard: "Be the perfect woman in my eyes."
Whenever I did not think or behave the way his perfect woman did, then I suffered the consequences (abusive anger, name-calling, intimidation, etc.). In his eyes, my goal in life should be to become the woman he wanted me to be...flawless in his eyes. His perfect idealization left no room to be human, let alone myself!
Please...Knock Me Off That Pedestal
He often told me that he held me up on a pedestal, above all other women, and when I fell off that pedestal, he became angry. This explanation was meant to excuse his poor behavior; it was not an apology.
When we commit to a relationship, it comes with an expectation of emotional equivalency. If one person is pressured more than the other (a lot more than just mental health issues there) conflict can arise. Anxiety doesn't typically make for emotional consistency but freedom of expression within relationships can help.
November was National Family Caregivers Month. An estimated 65 million Americans care for a family member. Of course, that is not just for families dealing with mental illness; that statistic accounts for those caring for loved ones with other physical and mental conditions, but also does not account for the number of families who are dealing emotionally with mental illness in a member even if direct care-giving is not a part of the picture right now.
I had the honor of being interviewed on several media outlets last week, and National Family Caregivers month drew to a close. The "month" may be over, but the job goes on. Here is one interview here, from "Reality Check" on Daytime TriCities.
The first step in recovering from any eating disorder is accepting that you do have an illness that deserves and needs treatment.
The next step is finding the appropriate people to guide you in recovering from your eating disorder. That can be very difficult. However, there are different types of help out there and I would encourage you to never give up trying to find what works for you.
Anxiety can motivate us to move faster, but left unchecked it can paralyze us.
If you are an adult newly diagnosed with ADHD, it’s assumed you have been struggling with some level of distractibility, impulsivity and even hyperactivity. These key ADHD symptoms are what help specify and diagnosis the disorder. Less acknowledged, discussed or even know about, are the common inner feelings of anger, grief, shame, isolation and even hope that adults with ADHD experience.
My point being, I'm right there with you. I hate the rollercoaster. I just want to live life without being in a state of constant fight or flight mode, only for his character to change and de-escalate and I fall for the person I fell for all over again.
Exhausting is a horrible word. The understatement of all understatements, if you will.
I wish there were better support groups for this kind of mental health condition.