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Mental illness messes with the family dynamic, and the mentally ill child can become the odd man out. Recently, Bob came home after spending a week at his father's house. There were no ticker-tape parades or confetti. We usually try to keep his returns low-key because of his problems with transitions, but last night felt different, because I'm not sure any of us were too excited about his homecoming.
I recently wrote about the myth that you can be "too smart" to have bipolar disorder. I wrote about the prejudicial and false thought that if we were "smart enough" we wouldn't have bipolar. This, of course, isn't remotely true.
A couple of people requested more about bipolar disorder and intelligence.
But I'm sorry to say, the truth is, people with bipolar disorder are actually cognitively impaired compared to the average individual.
Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines wrecking as "to reduce to a ruinous state by or as if by violence".
The crime of Wrecking in the former Soviet Union is defined as deliberately giving wrong commands for the purpose of disrupting the normal operations of the state. When I heard the term on the radio today, I was struck by the similarity between wrecking and how an abuser seeks to disrupt his/her victim's "normal operations" and how disrupting normal operations evolves into reducing victims "to a ruinous state by or as if by violence".
When I first heard of Anthony Weiner seeking professional “help” I was ready to blow a cork. I am so done with hearing about politicians, celebrities, and professional athletes seeking treatment for what may very well be an excuse for bad behavior.
Chronic pain and illness create depression, and I live with all of them. I have shared with you before that depression has been with me for a long time now. My last major bout of depression was in 2006, but I, like so many others, still live with the less severe aspects of depression on an ongoing basis. I want to talk to you about my last experience with a major depressive episode because it is greatly linked to a co-morbid condition I have. I know others also relate to chronic pain and other illness creating depression.
The older Bob gets, the more he knocks me from my parenting pedestal with unexpected questions and requests. I thought he'd outdone himself with his recent query as to the purpose of testicles--but last week, he hit me with something that left me even more dumbfounded.
"Nathan wants me to come sleep over at his house next weekend. Can I?"
I've been wrong about a lot of things in my lifetime. Life is funny like that, always moving the ball when you're not looking.
And one of them was this: I thought I was too smart to have a mental illness.
The process of coming to terms with your sexual preferences can be challenging and difficult for some people, it's something that many of us take for granted. So what happens if you marry following societal social norms and later discover that you are gay? Dr. Loren Olson, psychiatrist and author, can explain this experience better than most, as he has lived it himself.
While a personality test is legal, a test designed for clinical diagnosis is not. Saterfiel and Associates explains "The courts have consistently ruled against the general use of those psychological assessments in the business environment. The use of clinically inclined instruments would also fly in the face of the Americans With Disabilities Act since they are mainly designed to diagnose abnormal behavioral patterns. The ADA states that an employer 'shall not conduct a medical examination or make inquiries as to whether such applicant is an individual with a disability or as to the nature and severity of such disability.'"
I've been trying for four days now to finish an article on depersonalization, one of five primary ways dissociation manifests. I wanted to address the milder episodes of depersonalization most people experience at one time or another. But I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, and severe depersonalization is part of living with DID. Ironically enough, it's depersonalization itself - specifically, mental clouding - that's preventing me from finishing that article. I've finally decided that if I'm going to continue to try to write in a highly depersonalized state, it makes sense to stop fighting it and simply do my best to describe what I'm experiencing. The article I intended to publish today will have to wait until I can think clearly again.
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you're having such overwhelming experiences. That sounds hard.
I would say that when I get really wrapped up in talking to myself because of hypomania, it's similar but I don't feel like I'm in an imagined place or dreaming. That's the part that may be concerning.
If you're experiencing distress because of these experiences, you absolutely should tell your doctor -- and make it clear that it's causing your distress. It does sounds like it falls into the mild psychosis category, but that doesn't occur with cyclothymia. That only occurs in bipolar I. Of course, you may be experiencing bipolar and psychotic symptoms, just in an unusual way. (There is a category of bipolar disorder for this called "Other Specified Bipolar and Related Disorder.") https://www.healthyplace.com/bipolar-disorder/bipolar-types/what-are-the-types-of-bipolar-disorder
Experiences like that are normally treated with antipsychotics. A low dose of one of those medications may be just what you need. Antipsychotics are serious medication, though, so you want to carefully consider whether you think it's worth taking them. Thoroughly discussing your options with your doctor should help you make that decision: https://www.healthyplace.com/thought-disorders/schizophrenia-articles/antipsychotic-medications-for-treating-psychotic-illness
If you choose to go down the medication route, go slowly and continually assess along the way. There are many antipsychotics available, so it can take time to find the right one for you.
It's really good that you've recognized these issues in yourself. Now you can work on lessening them.
Good luck.
-- Natasha Tracy