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Amy, a 17 year old young woman, ran away from her parents' home months ago. From one perspective, the situation could be explained as a defiant teen who doesn't want to obey her parents' rules. From Amy's perspective, the explanation differs.  She understands that she broke a rule (or three!) and expected to be disciplined for that. Amy did not expect to find her disobedience tied to be tied to her parents' marital woes. She didn't expect for a private conversation with her mother to be shared with her father. She did not expect to be blamed for her mother's choice to confide feelings about Amy's father's repeated adultery (Amy suggested Mom leave him). Also, like many other victims of abuse, she did not expect the insults and aggressive anger as her parents worked through their emotions toward her via verbal and mental abuse.
A 2008 Harris Interactive study found that about 0.5 percent of Americans are vegan and 3.2 percent of Americans are vegetarians. That equals 1 million and 7.3 million respectively. That's a pretty low number. Why then does it seem that I know so many people with eating disorders who either are vegan, vegetarian, or practice some other type of eating different from the normal population?
Last night I participated in the first tweetup for the Society of Participatory Medicine. In their words, Participatory Medicine is a cooperative model of health care that encourages and expects active involvement by all connected parties (patients, caregivers, healthcare professionals, etc.) as integral to the full continuum of care. Not surprisingly, this is something with which I firmly agree. I believe in patients as active participants in their own healthcare. I say it all the time - the doctors aren't the ones taking the pills, you are. The issue with pushing for patient "participation" is not everyone is capable of wholly participating in their own healthcare. Sick people are busy being sick. They don't have time to read research papers. While some in the tweetup agreed, two notable exceptions occurred: ""too sick"? -why Patient support groups are key took 4 building the 'plumbing'." "One can't be busy getting well & busy being sick at the same time. The patient has to choose." Sounds like blaming the patient to me.
I had intended to spout on a completely different topic today, but I'll be honest--this insurance business has, to coin a phrase, my dander up. Judging from the majority of comments I've received, I'm not alone.
In this video, I reflect upon society's obsession with looks and how this can be dangerous for both young girls and women with eating disorders. Watch here:
The lies our addiction feeds us can be dangerous, triggering, and something we need to be vigilant of in sobriety. When we get sober it is important to separate the voice of our addiction from our true, authentic voice.
No one can take away your education. I tell that to the cadets where I work all of the time because it is true: I know from my own hard-won education, an ICBS (I Call Bulls*&!) degree, earned via 18 years of mental, emotional and verbal abuse, featuring a well-designed syllabus acted out by my controlling, manipulating, abusive ex. That man was an excellent teacher, but I didn't truly appreciate his lessons until the last years of his course (a.k.a., our marriage). It was a long course. Four times, out of sheer frustration I'm sure, he attempted to physically knock the stupid out of me, but it took that final laying on of hands to make me see the light. I graduated from that abusive experience with the ability to sense abusive bulls*&! from a mile away. Thank you, Ex-Husband, for the education.
I've discussed how I like to use the word "crazy" and don't find it derogatory. Us crazies, we have to stick together, I might say. I've also said that people can use any word to hurt you. Don't tell me you're a secretary. But some people use a mental illness diagnosis as a weapon. Some people insult and abuse with the facts of illness and treatment.
My son, Ben, lives with schizophrenia and was doing well until his recent sudden relapse. Of course, we are doing everything we can to bring Ben back from his first schizophrenia relapse in over six years. The process reminds me of what I believe have been the four cornerstones of Ben's recovery from Schizophrenia - all of which were removed too quickly. Recovery from a mental illness is possible, but only if attention is paid to the human being behind the illness. Watch and let me know what you think.
Sometimes it feels like it has been a long 20 years of living with depression and it's related challenges. Today feels like it's been far too long. I have been lucky enough to experience periods of reprieve, times of fresh perspective and times of stability. I believe I am still in a healthy place despite some major life challenges. But, even with these periods of relative calm and good mental health, there is something ever-present, the fear and stigma of depression.

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Comments

TJ
Hello, I resigned from a toxic workplace with boss who was demeaning and disparaging every single day. I was broken in my self confidence and ability. I feel so relieved that I finally left. I would benefit from never beginning to work there.
Carol Wilton
I feel that you are very blessed to have such a loving and supportive husband.. I also feel that you may never find someone like him again because relationships are not always about chemistry and sexual fulfilment but more to do with respect and understanding both which I feel that you and him share.He obviously loves you very much and from my own experience of bipolar disorder these qualities are not so easy to find,if not extremely difficult to replace.All I can say is before you decide to leave him and look for a sexually compatible partner I would feel like it would be best to go to see a therapist and explore your life there with the therapist.It’s always good to look at other people’s life and choices to determine who would be best for you. I wish you love, and hope for you in your life. I can’t remember if I said that I also have bipolar and having chemistry between you and any future wife that you would like to have is disruptive to one’s mental health because I had a relationship that had amazing chemistry between him and me but ultimately it became obsessive and at times I was crazy in love with him and other times I really didn’t like him at all because he wasn’t fulfilling my expectations of being in love with me because he found it too difficult to use my bipolar disorder.So I hope you don’t mind if I just say think about this decision that you might make with deep consideration. I truly hope that you can make the best decision for yourself..Sending you love and peace.xx
Mom
Thank goodness we are not alone . I often ask myself why I feel so inadequate after visiting my 39 year old daughter ( 4 year old granddaughter) , why I m sad and relieved to be going home .... walking on eggshells , hoping I m not going to say the wrong thing when all I m trying to do is love them both and share special times . I feel I m kept as arms length and there is no closeness. Sadness and depression and guilt all kick in for a few days , but then I think , get on with it . As long as I see my beautiful granddaughter I m happy .... " I am enough" .... I will always be there when needed .
Iz
This isn’t uncommon… It can be difficult for a borderline to feel individuated or have a strong identity, so they may tend to lock in to a partner, their children, or parents beyond what non-borderlines would. The refusing to speak to you may be to maintain an image as part of wanting to be seen a certain way.
Erin Crowe
I agree in that DiD doesn’t make you violent, but there are people with DID (such as my mom) who can be very violent. Also, the people on blogs and getting help and so forth don’t represent everyone with DID. I’m sure there are many, many violent offenders in prison who have DID. Maybe the DID didn’t cause them to become violent, but their trauma did.
I also have DID. And I know that it is not safe for people or animals to live with me. This is just the facts and it’s devastating. I know that to be ethical and non-harming I have to live alone. To see me, I look kind and sweet. And parts of me are. But not all the parts. I’ve been officially diagnosed and in therapy over two years, and even if we all heal, I don’t think it’s worth the risk that I could hurt or kill somebody. Some risks can be taken, but I don’t think I could say, ‘hey- let’s move in together. By the way I had violent tendencies but I think I have it taken care of. You ok with that?’