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You can learn to deal with phobias and fears. For example, I'm getting on a whole bunch of trains this week. That's something I couldn't do a couple of years ago. Public transport just wasn't my thing, and over time I developed a full-blown phobia of trains and other public transport.
Years ago I worked for a pharmacist who had obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). I only spent about 20 hours a month with him and didn't immediately notice the struggle he lived with every day. But by the time he was snatching prescriptions bottles out of my hand as I was ringing up customers, dumping the contents out, and counting the pills "just one more time," even I was having trouble coping with his obsessive-compulsive symptoms. After closing up the pharmacy one night, we said goodnight and he left. I took my time gathering my things from the back room and was headed for the door when I heard loud banging. Alarmed, I followed the sound and found him throwing his body repeatedly against the locked counter door, unable to trust that it was securely fastened. Watching him that night, I clearly saw the distress OCD can cause.
As I began discussing in last week's post, the challenges of parenting a child with a psychiatric illness aren't limited to just managing the illness. Like any other medical condition, psychiatric illness--even when under control--brings other issues to the party. Among them is homework. In this post, the "three-part-drama" of Homework continues. Part II - The Battle Begins
A few weeks ago I wrote an article on the worst things to say to a person with a mental illness. This ended up becoming a very popular article. I think that’s because most of us have heard some or all of these dismissive things from people in our lives. But a commenter posed an excellent question: What are the best things to say to someone with a mental illness?
People with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder(BPD) often can not integrate more than one side of a situation. One week’s perfect therapy may be next week’s torture, rather than therapy being a helpful yet difficult process.
"Take a look inside my Bipolar Brain and you'll see crazy," proclaims Breaking Bipolar blog author, Natasha Tracy. Natasha is diagnosed with bipolar II, ultra-rapid cycling and has been in treatment for over a decade. Unfortunately, even after trying numerous bipolar treatments, Natasha has received little relief.
I was sitting in a group therapy session once when the leader succinctly described the perception those of us with multiple personalities have of ourselves as groups of entirely separate people by writing the following on the white board: Me/Not Me. This is me. That is not me. For instance, I am a writer. But if another member of my system were assigned the task of writing this blog post, we would see how the Multiple Personality Disorder label came about. Some might have done a passable job. Others would have struggled mightily only to ultimately produce a choppy, thoroughly unimpressive piece of work. I am me. They are not me.
Yesterday I talked about the Dissociative Identity Disorder diagnosis and the vital role clinicians play in making that diagnosis. One of the reasons it's important to talk to a therapist if you think you may have DID is that dissociation by nature impedes awareness. Most people can't see the spot between their shoulder blades without a mirror. Similarly, most severely dissociative people aren't able to clearly recognize the symptoms of DID and the extent of their problem without the help of a skilled clinician. In fact, the diagnosis often comes as a shock. Today I'd like to share with you a typical diagnosis story - my own.
Mental Illness: It's Not Just You It's Mental Health Awareness Week and some of  Hollywood's brightest stars have created a charity, and coming out campaign. Watch the PSA with the ever-sexy Harrison Ford: No Kidding, Me too! Let's change the conversation about mental health, and treat anxiety. Here's a Friday fun one to help lighten your week: The Obsessive-Compulsive Buddhist
I mentioned in my last post how it is the best of times and the worst of times for mental illness and treatment education. There are no shortage of online sources of mental illness information: websites, discussion groups, blogs, news, self-assessment tests and everything else in between. It's as if we can diagnose ourselves and pick our own treatment all without leaving the warmth of our laptop on our thighs. But the anonymity of the internet means that everyone you meet might just be a 12-year-old girl with a big vocabulary and no idea what she's talking about. So just who are you supposed to trust for mental illness information?

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Claire
Good heavens, we may have been friends with the same person. I befriended a woman about 3 years ago when we first moved to this new town. At first, I thought she was sophisticated and well-bread, but the incessant complaining, finding fault, nitpicking, promising to appear somewhere and then cancel due to a myriad of issues; headaches, sleeplessness, mood, anxiety, and other issues....Every social media post is cryptic and always a put-down of the food, the area she lives in, and people in general. I finally had it after she said she needed medical insurance as a retiree and wanted a part-time gig with insurance benefits. She gets the interview, then rants that they didn't call her back ASAP to start onboarding. Then she onboards and is eligible for insurance in 30 days. She simply fails to return to the job. No call. No text. No email, nothing. Worst of all, my husband works there and the upper management barbed him on the new hire and her no-show, no call, no communication. I asked her what happened. She states, "Nope. not for me. too many red flags." "I" 'm just going to focus on my dogs and my weight." I wanted to throw my phone across the room, I was so outraged. She literally couldn't care less how this action affected us. We look like a fool for giving her praises to the management team... I have since just stopped liking her posts or commenting. She used to attend our bible study on Wednesdays and claimed to like it. Now, she is no-show completely. I finally just had it. No more communication with her and life is better. I don't often give up on ppl but once I see where they're heading, it's just a no-win for either party. It's been a little over 3-4 weeks now and I feel just plain better to be away from it. No guilt on my end. I tried, but I am not going to drain my life energy for this person.
Taylor
I am 35yr old and have adhd. I didn't get my drivers license until I was 29. I have very poor sense of direction when driving and even when I have taken the same path to and from home several times. I can't go anywhere without my GPS. I even have great difficulties finding my car when I'm done at the shopping center. It seems to be connected to my adhd struggles.
Paula
I have a lifetime of trauma and BPD and depression & anxiety and i can really identify with everything you have said chronic low self esteem and believing i nothing worthwhile to contribute to any conversations in social situations, iv grown up believing i was a bad evil person who doesn’t deserve anything good that life has to offer, even when im with my family i again feel like im an outsider and all the above caused me to isolate for 16 years and this made my situation a million times worse when i came back into society only months ago, im absolutely filled with Paranoia and i dont feel safe around humans unless im with 2 people that i can sort of connect with but its not often this happens and on any given day im that terrible or feel unable to have a conversation with people i can retreat to isolation again which again makes me worse everytime, i feel like i suffer if im out with people and i suffer if i isolate, im just constantly in a state of anxiety and terror and it paralyzes me and makes me brain shut down where i cant even think of a sentence to strike up a conversation with people, it’s absolutely horrendous and all the negative things my head tells me about myself it’s disturbing! I wouldn’t talk to anyone else the way i talk to myself but i just dont know how to stop it its been so ingrained in me for at least 4 decades now and im 45 years old.. i keep hoping one day it will get easier, but my heads such a mess, honestly and im not a bad person, iv just had a lifetime of trauma since i was a little girl that it completely changed me, that I don’t even recognise myself and neither does my family or anyone who knew me, but i might have more serious mental health iv just never been able to get out the house to go to mental health assessments.. but i wish you all luck!
Anonymous
Hi I'm 15 and I have severe anger issues that I can't control. I don't know why I am like this but when I am super mad I like to punch myself in the head repeatedly until I pass out and I sometimes slam my head against the wall. I used to cut but I try not to. I would just take scissors and you know, snip snip. I think this started when I was younger- around 12 years old. I always thought about sh but now I actually do it. I wish I had never started because once you start you can't go back. It's like a one-way road. There is no way you are going back to where you started.
anon
I do not have a BPD diagnosis (or think I should), but I can relate to much of what you're saying. I had a parent who was bipolar and struggled with addiction and who ultimately died when I was in my twenties. My other parent was extremely religious and I was raised in a controlling and punitive environment. I am extremely codependent on my intimate partners but can simultaneously hold others at a distance when I feel overstimulated or just want to be alone. I too am very triggered by perceived abandonment and really struggle to communicate with others because I feel too much too intensely and cannot make others understand it..I don't always understand it. Despite all of this, I feel very triggered by this post?? I have a friend who also struggles in the same ways I do, but I suspect it is much worse for them. I notice they ALWAYS have plans even when they feel burned out because they are terrified of being alone. We used to be very codependent on one another but now I find myself keeping my distance. And sometimes for unrelated reasons, I have to cancel plans. OR I will state upfront that I tentatively agree to the plans but reserve the right to cancel if I don't feel up to it. I don't know if that makes me a bad friend or not; I have been in counseling for years learning how to hold space for both myself and others. And sometimes that looks like cancelling or rescheduling. I know that this is a trigger for my friend- they not so casually mention other "flaky" friends in conversation- but at what point am I supposed to cater to someone else's (sometimes irrational) needs at the expense of my own peace? Why do I have to give you a play by play of my thought process (and maybe a doctor's note) to get out of doing something? What's an acceptable reason to cancel? This friend recently encourages me to just say I don't want to do something (almost aggressively mind you), but when I do, I feel like I get the silent treatment or otherwise passive aggressive responses. And I am constantly hearing stories about this person's disappointment in other friends who cancel or are perceived as flaky. I want to give them space to process their feelings about cancelled plans, but sometimes I feel annoyed and overlooked. Like their pain is more valid or important than my own. I have not had the courage to talk to my friend about this but feel I need to soon or else I will continue to harbor resentment. Anyway, I know there's room for all of us to feel our feelings but it's so hard to navigate right now. I have been a caretaker in one form or another my entire life. I really need to take care of myself and not feel guilty about it. The end!