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Depression – Breaking Bipolar

I can't stop crying. It's because of personal loss and depression; I know this. But it seems that all the knowledge in the world doesn't help. It seems like I just manage to right the ship, and then I find myself in a pool of brackish water again. Not everyone with depression reacts this way, but I cry far more than my fair share. No matter what I do, I just can't stop crying.
I had a discussion with my friend once about brain fog, and I said brain fog wasn't a real symptom of depression; it was just sort of a layperson's description of cognitive difficulties. Brain fog itself wasn't exactly real, per se; I said I wasn't exactly wrong about that, but I wasn't exactly right either. Brain fog is not exactly a medical descriptor, but I identify with it as a part of my illness(es). I can now attest to the fact that brain fog is real.
Recently a friend ruined my mental health. Well, a friend combined with preexisting bipolar disorder, ruined my mental health. I don't believe in blaming people for mental health problems, per se; but, sometimes people do things that are so damaging, a change in mental health really is pretty much their fault. So, what do you do when a friend ruins your mental health?
Many days I suffer from what feels like an endless urge to cry. I wake up, and the first thing I may have is an urge to cry. I make coffee -- same thing. I sit down to work, and the urge is still here. You'll note that, at this point, nothing has happened in my day to cause this; I simply have an undeniable urge to cry.
I can't stop insulting myself. I'm depressed, and that's one of the things that I do when I'm depressed. The insults I say at myself are unbelievably harsh and things I would never say to anyone else. But even though I know that it's the depression, and even though I know that it's negative and harmful, I just can't stop insulting myself.
I recently realized there is a safety to wanting nothing. In spite of the fact that wanting nothing in and of itself is horrible, that safety can actually feel comfortable -- especially after a long time.
I suspect all of us have heard someone say, "No one will love you until you love yourself." It's one of those quaint pieces of advice that people give so often that it shines with the veneer of truth. But I'm here to tell you it isn't true and, in fact, it's cruel to tell people that. I'm aware that people are trying to help, but "no one will ever love you until you love yourself" does just the opposite. 
Bipolar can bring thoughts to your brain that are so negative and destructive, they can seem impossible to deal with, but you can work to reframe bipolar thoughts to fight back. Reframing thoughts won't fix the issue, per se, but can allow you to stand up for yourself against the bipolar disorder. This is incredibly important. Learn more about reframing bipolar thoughts here.
Do you suffer from an inner voice that tells you others are thinking you're ugly, an idiot, or just plain crazy? You might try combatting that by trying to get over yourself. I know this sounds a bit harsh, and admittedly, I've been known to be overly harsh with myself, but I think there's something to this. Let me explain what I mean when I say, "Get over yourself." 
I'm experiencing a profound depression right now, and I can tell you that I don't care about anything. I was thinking about how little I care. Good things have happened. Bad things have happened. But I don't care. Nothing touches me enough for me to actually care about it. Depression has definitely convinced me that I don't care about people, places, things, and everything in between.