I’m Rachel Craft, and I’m excited to join the "Coping with Depression" blog at HealthyPlace. I was diagnosed with depression over a decade ago in college. As a type-A perfectionist, I was constantly overwhelmed with stress and never got enough sleep. My habitually low self-esteem took a dive at one point, and I developed an eating disorder and started experimenting with self-harm. It was a terrifying period of my life because I realized I might not survive if I didn’t find help.
Hello, my name is Obsessed with Metrics. I say this with snark, but I also genuinely mean it. A few months ago, when I wrote about my exercise addiction, I briefly touched on how metrics fuel this behavior. I count the number of steps I take. I count the number of miles I run. I count the number of stairs I climb. I count the number of minutes I exercise. I count the number of calories I burn. At times, I feel like a human calculator—ironic, since math has never been my strong suit.
After a year of blogging for HealthyPlace, I must now depart. However, a long goodbye isn't really useful for anyone, including me. So this final post is addressed to you -- the undiagnosed reader who suspects they may have attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and is looking for guidance on how to proceed.
When you struggle with anxiety, it is sometimes inevitable that you will also cope with depression. The constant worry, the feelings of insecurity, the fears, feeling overwhelmed, and most noticeable for me, the feelings of exhaustion from the anxiety -- all of these things can lead to suddenly feeling down. What has concerned me about this in the past has been that if I feel down and continue to feel this way, the depression may become severe to the point that it is difficult to pull myself out. So I've had to be mindful of taking care of myself in order to avoid anxiety becoming depression.
Taking risks has a bad reputation. We advise people against decisions that seem "risky," warn children away from capers that might result in injury, and, as a general rule of thumb, seek certainty at all costs. On the surface, this ethos makes perfect sense. Why take risks when the odds are against you? After all, that's what risk is: a poor probability or an unlikely shot. 
The idea of attracting bliss brings many different images to mind. We often associate the word with heightened mental states such as those brought about by meditation and a life of simplicity. At the other end of the spectrum, we might picture a life of complete abundance rooted in physical sensations, wealth, and material possessions.
Verbal abuse can come from individuals of any age, including children. Unfortunately, the understanding that kids can be cruel is too common for many parents. So, why do children resort to verbal abuse to handle difficult situations? The answer could be due to learned behaviors or a developmental phase.
Living with self-harm scars is different for everyone. Some folks have more visible scars; some have to cope with scars that directly affect how they live their day-to-day lives. As for me, my scar's appearance—and impact—on my life have been subtle but powerful.
Limitations affect people with schizophrenia, but I believe people with schizophrenia can achieve great things. I know of three women who have schizophrenia who started and run non-profit organizations. I know of three women who are parents to young children. I know several people with schizophrenia who have jobs as writers or artists and others who work as marketing professionals and content creators. Elyn Saks, one of the most well-known people with schizophrenia, is a doctor and professor. These are examples from the two to three dozen people I follow on social media or who I have become friends with in my years of advocacy. If I knew more people with schizophrenia, I assume I would find people with the illness in every role, identity, or profession. 
There are so many things I took for granted before I had bipolar disorder. Just like many people, I was living a normal-ish life. I was 18 years old; I was at university; I was living with my boyfriend; the stats on my life were definitely in the meaty part of the bell curve. And as such, I certainly never thought about mental illness. I wouldn't have been able to correctly define bipolar disorder for you for a million dollars. Those are certainly days I miss. And looking back, so many things were different before I had bipolar disorder.

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Rebecca Chamaa
Hi Carolyn,
Thank you for your comments and question.
I think you would need to ask a counselor or doctor to get an excellent response to how to help someone in a crisis (psychosis).
Thank you for watching the video and for your support!
Last night I had one of the worst panic attacks I have had in a long time. I only recall 2 others that was that extream but did not last as long. I have had panic attacks since I was a young girl, I am now 52 and still have them. I will tell you about the first bad one I think I was in my 20s, I was at my Aunts house with family everyone was talking having a good time all of a sudden I got quite my Aunt noticed and started saying sissy (that is what she called me) it sounded like she was in a tunnel even though she was in the same room. I literally felt like I was going to leave my own body like I was disconnecting. My Aunt said sit and put your head between your knees and breath slowly you are having a panic attack (she knew I had these) it lasted about 15 to 20 minutes I would say but it was awful. The second one I was on the interstate( scary I know) driving by myself when it started all I could do was pray Lord just let me get off this exit and through this red light and I will pull over, please don't let me wreck and hurt anyone. My lips went numb one side of my face i thought i was having a stroke I was in my 40s. You would know the light would be red but by the time the light changed and I got under it the attack was gone. It weighed on me though that happened while driving because I had never had one driving and was afraid it would happen again, thank God it hasn't. Ok so the latest really bad one happened I think it kinda started last night around 11 p.m. but slacked off well I woke out of a dead sleep face burning and nauseous I felt strange almost disconnected not like my self at all. I got sick 3 times. I washed my face twice I finally took my emergency anxiety medication ( I don't like to take medication) the attack lasted 2 hours before it eased up I fell asleep for about 4 hours but when I woke I had the same panic feeling for about 10 minutes. I don't know what happened but that was awful I am still trying to wrap my head around it.
Tami J Sprigler
At this moment I am praying that you can still be reached. Give it a minute you'll know why I feel like that. As I am lying here listening to my husband sleep, I fear who will be there in the morning. He'll be 40 8n July and still no diagnosis. I'm the only one that has ever caught it. I've spent the last week trying to explain to our caseworker that my husband isn't the only one in his head. Apparently 2 years ago when we first met her, she didn't realize that when I said that my husband has more than one in his head and 1 of them really really doesn't like me, even tries to kill me she thought I just meant he is quick to anger. Seriously people really need to listen. Yes. I am a domestic violence victim, yes I know that at this point it's my choice to stay. I am well aware of the repercussions. My husband is in there somewhere and I have been fighting for both of us since I realized it's not just him. My husband still doesn't know what is exactly happening, and about 2yrs ago I made Z the aggressive one very angry when I even suggested it. And at this very moment that manipulative SOB is blackmailing me and threatening to send me to jail possibly prison if I don't just shut up and go away. Well I've never been good at following orders, and I never was really taught how or when to give up. I have co dependent issues. Most of all, I am stubborn and the first time my husband kissed me, and the only time with anyone in the world.. I felt love, my knees went weak, I would have dropped to the ground if he hadn't already been kinda holding me up. The world spun just a bit, and everything went quiet. The massive chronic migraine I had for almost 2 full years, pain everyday all day was even doing 3x a week iv thorazine treatments gone. And it was only a kiss on the cheek. I thought then and still do when I'm trying not to be mad, the universe brought us together and Im willing to die trying before I give up. I promised him I'd do everything I could to help him figure out why he is the way he is and get help to stay clean and sober. At times I wish I had more information at the time, and it's definitely not easy, and at times I loose it and get mean and vengeful thoughts too. It's hard not too, Z the one that really doesn't like me, he likes games, likes to come out and f up our whole world and goes above and beyond to hurt me every way possible. Broken fingers, elbows, ribs and countless fractures. Even crushed and shattered my tibia plateau a year n a few months into being married. 3 months into our relationship I was head over heals in love, we were getting a 5 bedroom house, he started a new job, going on 3 plus years of being clean. White picket fence and a man that made me feel like I was the only one in the world. Then I was crushed, ran off with a hood rat dope whore, stole the rent and bill money, hadn't been clean, hadn't been clean in almost a year. Lied straight to my face day in and day out since day one. The hood rat ya, that devastated me the most. I've never felt pain like that. Till recently, I literally dropped to the bedroom floor after reading the messages between them and that's where I stayed for 5 days, till a very amazing friend kicked in the door and refused to give up or let me forget that I was better than that. Until 5 days ago I was still full of that same hurt and pain, thankfully my husband finally gave up some truths and now I can start to heal. However Z has a whole new plan to ruin me. From what I can tell none of them know about each other except for possibly 1 of the alters. I can definitively prove 4 plus my husband and for a bit thought it could be more. And I know it sounds crazy, but I think he's got a demonic kookaburra kinda thing hanging on to him too. Again I know I sound crazy but my husband has caught her on recordings talking to him and I've caught it in pictures. So I have to acknowledge that something is definitely going on and until another explanation is established this is what I have to go on. My husband suffered trauma as a child, at times he remembers more than I have heard from him, other times he has a beginning and a bit of the end. Sometimes he's got nothing, no memory just a feeling something bad happened. He has admitted for as long as I have known him, which was 10yrs before he even thought about kissing me. That his memory is really bad, huge chunks of time missing. Yes he's a 20plus yrs IV methamphetamine addict and alcohol abuse and probably has smoked weed since age 8ish all have affected his mind body and soul as well, but the only thing that explains why my husband is and does the things he does or finds himself confused and scared because he doesn't know how he got in the car or what state we are in, is because he's not always the one driving the billy train. From what I can gather he's had a team for decades. Z he likes to keep the meth in play and massive quantities. Because then he can run free, stir up all kinds of trouble and then go off wherever and sleep while little Billy sits in the jail cell wondering why he is always in trouble. Z has cheated on me the 1 time I can definitely prove, and I firmly believe that he has done it more than that, however My husband swears on everything and everything he has never cheated on a wife. His ex-wife 2 times married and 2 times divorced will say that's BS and he did her sister, sister even admitted to it. Now I don't think my husband did cheat on her or on me, except for the parts he recalls from the dope whore in our beginning. Which I remember the night a few days before I discovered what was going on, how scared he was, apologizing, confused, so so sorry he never meant to hurt me, couldn't tell me why and then the man I lived with for the next 48 hrs wasn't the same guy. I always know when my husband or the alters mess up, because I'm accused of the crime or crimes. And Z does an amazing job of setting the stage, even leaves evidence of my cheating. Problem here is, if you think you're having sex with your husband because he looks and talks like your husband, you watch your husband Walk out the hotel room door, less than 2 minutes later flying back in and boom intense heat, passion and a bang for the books is coming, then a smirk and your a sperm depository. With a creepy giggle and bs I'm so sorry I couldn't help it.. now you know something is up with your husband but everyone blames all his actions all the time on the drugs and after awhile convince you that's why you see this and that.. ect. And then a big bag of meth comes into the picture. You forget that thing you see in his eyes, or his change in style of clothes, or even how he walks and his posture. Now here you are with a confused husband, high on dope swearing with everything holy he didn't f**k you since a week ago Friday kinda thing.. but he can smell someone on you and in you and he knows it's not his. And yes. Here's where I say I believe it's possible that they each have their own scent, DNA structure somehow, and I'd like to have a medical professional help prove me either way right or wrong. But how else could a man shoot up 3 balls in 72 hrs or less and survive??? For the last year I hear almost constantly that I am a liar and cheater bc of our trip to Phoenix and also since September of 2018 I control the government and sent them after him when he took off with the hood rat dope whore, and this last trip to Phoenix about 8 months ago turned into some vision of a biker bar gang bang that I hired to at first kill him and last 6 months begged them to just scare him.. guns bullets whole 9 yards. I got woke up by local sheriff's early am after getting back. Told I needed to come get my dog and my husband was being taken by ambulance for dehydration, exhaustion and drug use. Ya he rode his hallucination all the way to a few neighbors places, 3-5 miles from us btw, and proceeded to tell them I was trying to have him killed. Same thing happened in Kingman az about 2yrs ago. Z PLANTED the seed literally and the dope ride just rolled him down crazy lane. I know don't argue with them or toy or bargain with the alters, well this one just pisses me off. I watched my husband snap back in from a transition while Z was crushing my knee with his bare hands. That's when I knew, it all made sense, why my husband claims to have never laid a hand on me, says he never stole the Bill money or cleaned out my bank account. Swears the mass email and texts to everyone in my phone contacts with our personal bedroom tapes and pictures wasn't him.. thing is, my husband isn't the only bad guy in the relationship. The first time he headbutted me through a wall and wouldn't stop beating on me. I stuck him in the neck, with a pen kinfe my husband gave me for protection, I worked late, walked across town a lot when he was getting high and forgot to pick me up. I begged him to stop, he just kept hitting me and slamming me into another wall, reached in my pocket, realized it was there and didn't think twice. He transitioned as he was pulling it out. I ran, then thought I would get into trouble, bc my husband had been put on blood thinners few months before. Helped Z convince myself I'd be the one going to jail. Yr later many broken Bones and fractures, my knee, I had a bag packed, I was done, enough I was 2 step's out the door and... Well you can't leave if you can't walk, run, or even crawl. Pure fear kept me for a long while after that horrific night. I don't condone, recommend, suggest or encourage anyone, no man woman or child should ever go through what I have. The first time you get, hit, punched, choked, leave and never look back. Do not make the mistakes that I have. I don't know why I have chosen to stay when I should have left. I don't know why I have went back after I was gone. I don't know what I was thinking when I was fleeing for my life and only made it 4.5 hrs away, but something said if you leave him he'll die, you have the choice to save him. And now that's what I will spend the rest of my life trying to do.
Hi Julia, thank you so much for sharing!

Also, are you me? Haha! I feel like you've written exactly what I've been struggling with, word for word. I'm really trying to get myself to express my opinions and speak out rather than conform. It's been affecting me everywhere in my life and I've been looking for ways to overcome it. Speaking out during an injustice has also been a challenge as there have been many times when I don't and feel extremely awful later. Thank you for your points, I shall try writing to express myself better.

What I do now is I try and start conversations with close friends who have very polarizing views from me as I find it easier to debate on topics that I have very strong opinions on. Hopefully, that will help me in situations where a smaller opinion would be something I express with others too.

It's been a while since you've written your article. Have you been able to overcome most of your anxieties and express your opinions better now? I really hope you have! Have you found other methods to overcome them than the ones you've mentioned already? Thank you for your time!
When he comes up to me it's weird I go into a dreamlike state then like a alter its blurry kin of and sometimes I pass out like we're having a conversation that I don know I'm having then I feel weird I don't like it but he don't stop I tel him up tries t tell me who iam and take avenge of it leaving tomorrow to go to doctor to get away he sais I faking it but I not it gets bad sometimes really bad it's a bad place
My mouth taste weird to haven't Sowers ether so I can try to have DNA on me needed to tell somebody