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Many days I don't want to get out to bed. I am dealing with some difficult life issues right now, and of course the first thing I turn to is restricting my food intake in order to numb the pain and anxiety I am feeling. There are some days that I feel as if this will go on forever. I contemplate my future and I can't see the light at the end of the eating disorder tunnel.
If you've been hanging out in the mental health corners of the web for longer than about a day, you've probably seen it - mental illness bashing. Mental illness, mental health, psychopharmacology, doctor, therapy and other-related-topics bashing. It's extremely common and extremely hurtful and destructive. But it's the wild and woolly web, and that sort of nastiness happens in the jungle. Here are some tips for not letting other people's nastiness get to you.
I remember the day I met my friend, Sharon.* Bob had turned four the month prior, and I was--for the third time since then--preschool shopping. Sharon was the owner/director of a small, private Montessori preschool (which I fell in love with almost immediately). She was confident, secure, and highly knowledgeable when it came to children. She had two of her own, in fact, and they were honor roll students and star athletes. In other words, she was everything I felt I wasn't. And she intimidated the Hell out of me.
Believe it or not, you truly can control your ADHD impulses and avoid being arrested for breaking and entering. All it takes is a few good thumps from the School of Hard Knocks to drive the lesson home, but even an air-headed dreamer such as myself can learn to avoid catastrophic lapses of impulse control.
How important is it to have motivation in addiction recovery? Addiction recovery is hard, and on rough days, where cravings or urges are high, it is important to separate the disorder's voice from the authentic/wise mind voice. On days where you are struggling in sobriety or mental health recovery, it is crucial to have intentions, motivations and goals to shift the perspective to help you through the struggles. It is important to realize the journey is all about the work, and every moment you are fighting for recovery matters.
Recovering from a serious mental illness can seem impossible, insurmountable at times, and frightening as well.  Because I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of twelve, drugs and alcohol became a way in which I worked to forget about the diagnosis and self-medicate it.
This week I’m going to get a little more personal. This past weekend I attended a business development workshop. Every six weeks or so I bravely head off for these two day intensives, knowing that at the end I will have gained some great ideas to apply in my work and also that I will be somewhat changed as a person when I leave. This past weekend was no different as I was reminded that once again, I am my own worst enemy.
Monday morning, my phone rang. I recognized the number as Bob's school. With a groan, I tapped the "ignore" button on my phone and waited for them to leave a message, hoping it was just the cafeteria manager letting me know (for the 98th time) Bob's lunch account is in the red. No such luck.
“All statements on the Internet are true, including this one.” Taz Mopula Here is a riddle to enjoy. You are walking on a road leading to Basingstoke. You arrive at a junction. The road splits in two. You do not know which road to take. There are two men standing there. You know that one man always lies while the other always tells the truth; but you don’t know which is which. You are only allowed one question to find the right road. You can ask the question to either man. What question will you ask to find out which is the road leading to Basingstoke?
I love my readers for so many reasons, but one of them is that they leave intelligent and interesting comments on my posts. This one caught my eye: . . . in my experience anytime you challenge a p-doc they try to attribute it to a symptom such as paranoia or delusions of grandeur. So my question is how to talk back to a doctor when you don't agree with him if you are as knowledgeable as you obviously are without that happening or is it a lost cause? (Ever think a doctor has delusions of grandeur? Just saying...) I do not think it's a lost cause. I talk to my doctor like a colleague all the time, but it is tricky.

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Paula
I have a lifetime of trauma and BPD and depression & anxiety and i can really identify with everything you have said chronic low self esteem and believing i nothing worthwhile to contribute to any conversations in social situations, iv grown up believing i was a bad evil person who doesn’t deserve anything good that life has to offer, even when im with my family i again feel like im an outsider and all the above caused me to isolate for 16 years and this made my situation a million times worse when i came back into society only months ago, im absolutely filled with Paranoia and i dont feel safe around humans unless im with 2 people that i can sort of connect with but its not often this happens and on any given day im that terrible or feel unable to have a conversation with people i can retreat to isolation again which again makes me worse everytime, i feel like i suffer if im out with people and i suffer if i isolate, im just constantly in a state of anxiety and terror and it paralyzes me and makes me brain shut down where i cant even think of a sentence to strike up a conversation with people, it’s absolutely horrendous and all the negative things my head tells me about myself it’s disturbing! I wouldn’t talk to anyone else the way i talk to myself but i just dont know how to stop it its been so ingrained in me for at least 4 decades now and im 45 years old.. i keep hoping one day it will get easier, but my heads such a mess, honestly and im not a bad person, iv just had a lifetime of trauma since i was a little girl that it completely changed me, that I don’t even recognise myself and neither does my family or anyone who knew me, but i might have more serious mental health iv just never been able to get out the house to go to mental health assessments.. but i wish you all luck!
Anonymous
Hi I'm 15 and I have severe anger issues that I can't control. I don't know why I am like this but when I am super mad I like to punch myself in the head repeatedly until I pass out and I sometimes slam my head against the wall. I used to cut but I try not to. I would just take scissors and you know, snip snip. I think this started when I was younger- around 12 years old. I always thought about sh but now I actually do it. I wish I had never started because once you start you can't go back. It's like a one-way road. There is no way you are going back to where you started.
anon
I do not have a BPD diagnosis (or think I should), but I can relate to much of what you're saying. I had a parent who was bipolar and struggled with addiction and who ultimately died when I was in my twenties. My other parent was extremely religious and I was raised in a controlling and punitive environment. I am extremely codependent on my intimate partners but can simultaneously hold others at a distance when I feel overstimulated or just want to be alone. I too am very triggered by perceived abandonment and really struggle to communicate with others because I feel too much too intensely and cannot make others understand it..I don't always understand it. Despite all of this, I feel very triggered by this post?? I have a friend who also struggles in the same ways I do, but I suspect it is much worse for them. I notice they ALWAYS have plans even when they feel burned out because they are terrified of being alone. We used to be very codependent on one another but now I find myself keeping my distance. And sometimes for unrelated reasons, I have to cancel plans. OR I will state upfront that I tentatively agree to the plans but reserve the right to cancel if I don't feel up to it. I don't know if that makes me a bad friend or not; I have been in counseling for years learning how to hold space for both myself and others. And sometimes that looks like cancelling or rescheduling. I know that this is a trigger for my friend- they not so casually mention other "flaky" friends in conversation- but at what point am I supposed to cater to someone else's (sometimes irrational) needs at the expense of my own peace? Why do I have to give you a play by play of my thought process (and maybe a doctor's note) to get out of doing something? What's an acceptable reason to cancel? This friend recently encourages me to just say I don't want to do something (almost aggressively mind you), but when I do, I feel like I get the silent treatment or otherwise passive aggressive responses. And I am constantly hearing stories about this person's disappointment in other friends who cancel or are perceived as flaky. I want to give them space to process their feelings about cancelled plans, but sometimes I feel annoyed and overlooked. Like their pain is more valid or important than my own. I have not had the courage to talk to my friend about this but feel I need to soon or else I will continue to harbor resentment. Anyway, I know there's room for all of us to feel our feelings but it's so hard to navigate right now. I have been a caretaker in one form or another my entire life. I really need to take care of myself and not feel guilty about it. The end!
Mj. Bean
You're definitely not alone. My boyfriend has DID and more often times than not, we dont get throiugh the day without arguing or disagreeing at least once. I'm head over heels in love with "Super Max" which is who he basically is when he reaches this sort of "peak performance" and the "lesser" maxs' are the ones that can get downright insane. One talks like an 8 year old, another one acts like he's around 20 years old. I didn't have any idea he had this until we were 3 months in and i had already fallen hard for him. Most days he's in "annoyed/angry max mode" where he is literally the biggest control freak on the planet. Obsesses over silly things like "spilling" things and such. It can be exhausting but the violent max is the one that, while i rarely see him, he's still the only one i dread and have only seen a handful of times.

My point being, I'm right there with you. I hate the rollercoaster. I just want to live life without being in a state of constant fight or flight mode, only for his character to change and de-escalate and I fall for the person I fell for all over again.
Exhausting is a horrible word. The understatement of all understatements, if you will.

I wish there were better support groups for this kind of mental health condition.
midnightvibes
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. It sounds so difficult and I can’t imagine what it must feel like. I know what it’s like to feel like no one in the world cares, that they’re all just caught up in their lives, and I’m so sorry that you’re feeling that way. I would just say stay strong and seek the help you deserve. You deserve to be alive in this world. Even if it feels like you don’t, you 100% do. I don’t know you but I can tell from this post it’s seems like you are resilient and care about others and have some hopes for the future. Stay strong friend, seek help if you are able to, and have hope if you can. I believe in you so much <3