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Schizophrenia and routines are good partners. As someone with schizophrenia and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), my mind can often feel chaotic. I might simultaneously experience olfactory hallucinations (smells), paranoia, and cycling thoughts about worst-case scenarios or other symptoms. These symptoms leave little space in my brain for health and wellbeing. That is why when I am at home, I follow a routine to add order and a sense of safety. Routines can give us a feeling that we have something we can count on when we have schizophrenia. They can also offer structure that can help with feeling out of control.
Have you tried to fix someone's mental illness? When we see others struggling with mental illness, we often get the urge to help. But for most of us, we aren’t equipped to treat their disease—and trying to can negatively impact our mental health. Sometimes we have to let go and accept that we can’t fix someone else’s mental illness.
A friendship recession is a real thing. When was the last time you hung out with your friends? Or when have you had a real heart-to-heart conversation? If you cannot recall the date, you, like countless others, may have been hit by the friendship recession.
While I know it's tempting, don't try to be your own psychiatrist. Trying to be the psychiatrist is a mistake. Psychiatrists train for 10 years to decide how to help you. Do you have 10 years of training? These people treat others like you every single day and thus have years of clinical experience under their belt. Do you treat others and have years of clinical experience under your belt? For most of us, the answers are "no" and "no." When you try to be the psychiatrist, you hobble your own treatment. And the trust is, I see people doing it all the time.
I want to share what it's like to have borderline personality disorder (BPD) and experience severe emotional triggers in the middle of interactions. Borderline personality disorder triggers are no small thing.
I have battled grief in relation to my posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I've spent years mourning the life I had before my trauma, as well as the life I feel I could have had if that traumatic event had never happened in the first place. Posttraumatic stress disorder has amplified my experience of grief.
As Japan's unique culture continues to gain interest worldwide, many previously unknown aspects of Japanese life are now much more widely understood. At one end is its distinctive pop culture. On the other are its traditional philosophical concepts related to mindfulness, simplicity, and the inherent power of nature. These aspects of Japan's unique culture have undoubtedly played a pivotal role in helping me create a blissful life.
Goodbyes suck. I suck at giving goodbyes. There are times I’m more likely to fade away than give a proper goodbye. But, in this case, I’m here to give a proper goodbye to HealthyPlace. As much as I don’t want to say goodbye, it feels like it’s time for me to move along.
According to Dr. Gabor Mate, underneath all addictive behaviors lies a deep, unresolved trauma wound.[1] One thing that helped me start releasing the shame I carry for struggling with addiction was learning about the two types of trauma: "big T" and "little t" trauma. Big T trauma is related to an acute, severe event like sexual assault or going to war. While little t trauma accumulates over time in response to things like active shooter drills or a childhood steeped in diet culture.[2] These two types of trauma are important to understand.
I formerly used earplugs to drown out the noise and chatter in restaurants and some other public places, but now I’ve switched to noise-canceling headphones to deal with the anxiety those noises cause. Let me tell you about them and about why I need noise-canceling headphones for anxiety in the first place.
Well, eventually, the depression demons took hold and he told me on August 5th 2023 that he decided he wanted to just move to MT and isolate himself from everyone. He had been offered a free place to stay if he did some maintenance. He is very handy and that type of situation was very ideal because it was flexible; he only worked on things on the days he was physically up to it.
We talked every night like "normal" up until he left on April 14th 2023. We had a long distance relationship then and so I didnt get to see him in person often and didnt see him that last week. He told me one last time that he loved me and he was sorry to hurt me and I have not heard from him since. He didnt even tell his parents or sister he was leaving.
I still love him as much as I ever have even though it has been over a year since we last spoke. I just had dinner with a close friend who was always very critical of him because often he would have to cancel plans last minute due to the Crohn's or because he would go dark for weeks at a time. She told me tonight that he is a selfish person and that if he truly loved me he would have gotten help for the depression. Oddly, she has been depressed before and suicidal which you would think would make her more understanding. I asked her if when she contiplated suicide was she selfish? She said yes. I said but are you a selfish person and she said no. I said that was the same for him. Sure him leaving me and his family was "selfish" but at his core, is he selfish? Absolutely not. She thinks because she was able to conquer her depression that if he really loved me, he would have fought his depression. It makes me sad to think she cant see the amazing guy that is buried under the depression. I know, without a doubt, if he did get a handle on the depression, that he would NOT be selfish at all. It is hard to understand why others cant see the true person under the depression.
I hope those that are struggling know that not everyone will abandon you in your time of suffering. There are people out there that see the real you and would do anything to help.
I encourage all those suffering from depression to not only tell your loved ones what you are going through, but also to seek professional help. And for those of you who love a person suffering from depression, have compassion and understanding for their struggle. Know they do not intentionally hurt you and deep down they still love you even if they cant show it.
Thanks for reading.
p.s. I also struggle with depression and anxiety but I did get help and between medication and coping techniques, I am able to be myself again.
From the story you told, it sounds like you know when your partner's alters switch.
I'm sorry this was written in the first/second person. But maybe apply this to your situation with a grain of salt.