Blogs
If you have Dissociative Identity Disorder, recognizing when you're on a downward spiral may be incredibly difficult. Dissociation separates us from our thoughts, feelings, and experiences and makes maintaining awareness of our very realities a monumental challenge. My hope is that by taking stock of my mental health warning signs, I can increase my chances of noticing the next decline in functioning at its inception, rather than coming out of a dissociative fog six months in and wondering what happened to my life.
The holidays aren't the only thing that can send a routine down the tubes.
From very early Monday morning until very early this morning, we had snow. Lots and lots of snow. Roughly 7 inches of the stuff in my neighborhood. Needless to say, school was canceled, and since I wasn't eager to make the 30 mile drive over mostly un-plowed interstate to my office, I stayed home with the kids. And with temperatures in the single digits, we're not in any hurry to get out and make snow angels.
Apparently, one needn't live in a cabin to have "cabin fever."
Anytime of the year is a good time to start organizing, planning and budgeting for the next 365 days. Bipolar disorder tells you not to bother - there's only bad news, there's no way to sort through the mess, and other thoughts that set you up for failure. Press past those thoughts, and gather you bills and invoices. Step by step is the way to do this.
When I think of eating disorders I think of anorexia and bulimia. I think of starvation and compulsive exercising.
When I was pregnant with my first baby, my doctor told me that she didn’t go watch a movie with her husband for two years after their first child. I thought this was absurd…until I experienced first-hand the late-night feedings, round-the-clock diaper changing, and all-around exhaustion that comes with being a new parent. Your little bundle of joy demands so much attention and care that it’s easy to neglect other areas of your life, namely your relationship with your partner.
Why is anxiety viewed as the relatively benign step-child of mental health conditions? Because if you think it's benign, I assure you it's not.
There's a tendency for people to look down on anxiety because maybe it's not the worst case scenario, or there's a bit more of a silver lining to be found - tatty though it may be.
What disturbs me the most is that with depression, they think you're weak - with anxiety, they think you're hysterical but that it's mostly harmless.
For some time now, my mental health has been declining. My partner admitted to me last night that if it were still possible to commit loved ones she would have had me hospitalized months ago. And though I didn't realize she was quite that concerned about my mental condition, she's been telling me that I'm not well for a while now. I've been unwilling to hear it, insulted by what I believed was a lack of faith in me and thoroughly annoyed at her refusal to recognize how brilliant and capable I truly am. Oh denial, my old friend, you've made me a fool once again. Sadly, I doubt it will be the last time. Because I still haven't learned to take mental health warning signs as seriously as I take my pride.
Last week, I received an email from Bob's teacher, filling me in on his first week back at school following winter break. It was about what I expected--he's been pretty hateful and nasty to his peers, unwilling to follow directions, and sneaking around in order to get his way without getting in trouble. In short, not much different than how he's been acting at home for the past couple of weeks. Once again, I ask myself the question--is it time for talk therapy?
What could be more pro-troop than supporting the right of every soldier, sailor, airman and Marine to get appropriate help quickly? PTSD, and often BPD, are physical injuries that manifest psychologically. Signing up for military service does not mean one signs away the right to heal.
As I mentioned last time, many doctors feel that antidepressants actually make bipolar disorder worse. Some specialists, in fact, will routinely take people with bipolar disorder off of antidepressants when the bipolar is doing well. Like I said, it’s a matter of perspective.
And I get asked all the time about getting off of antidepressants and other medication. So, exactly how should you get off an antidepressant and what should you worry about when doing so?
It is wonderful to hear that you are embracing YOUR progression. Although it is natural to compare ourselves to others around us, it is unhealthy. However, it does take self-awareness, continuous practice, and willingness to change our thinking. The fact is that we are all 100% unique, and there is no one else like us. Thus, we can only follow our own journey and walk along at our own speed when it comes to recovery. How we recover is normal -- at least for us.
Think of it like this: trauma is our normal reaction to an abnormal event, plain and simple. It doesn't matter if someone else doesn't think our trauma is valid -- it is precisely that, OURS. In return, our journey of recovery should also be OUR normal progression from the trauma or mental health condition.
I am happy to hear that you can change your thinking and are trying to not compare yourself to others. Keep strong and go forward at your own pace.