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Regret and anxiety often go together for me. One of the challenging aspects of anxiety is the focus on past events. The difficulty with this is that it often prompts you to focus on past events that were stressful, troubling, and uncomfortable instead of positive experiences that brought about good feelings. Accompanying those memories of past events are feelings of regret and anxiety.
I've always struggled with saying hello and goodbye -- neither comes naturally to me. Another is publicly talking about myself and sharing experiences about my recovery. So, writing at the Debunking Addiction Blog for HealthyPlace has been firmly outside my comfort zone, which is not bad -- recovery should involve challenges and moving away from familiarity. However, aspects of fearlessly discussing my alcoholism online come at the cost of increased anxiety or uneasiness.
A few months ago, I saw #GirlDinner trending on social media. After reading about it, I realized it's a gateway to eating disorders, or at least disordered eating. Let's see why girl dinner can be dangerous.
One thing life guarantees is that there will be changes in recovery. As fall rolls in, I've reflected on all the changes that come with a new season (temperature, holidays, sunlight, etc.) Life is full of changes, whether environmental (like the seasons), personal, or professional. Changes are difficult for anyone but can be especially difficult for those recovering from a mental illness. So, during change, I ask myself, "What can I do to find a sense of stability and handle my anxiety?"
Saying goodbye is not something I enjoy. It is something I typically avoid. Writing a goodbye letter to a space that gave me a voice makes me feel gutted and afraid. One of my favorite writers says, "People and opportunities come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." Writing "Debunking Addiction" happened during a season when I didn't have adequate support on my sobriety journey. I needed a space to openly and honestly communicate my experiences as an alcohol-free human living in an alcohol-obsessed culture.
October 8th was International Lesbian Day, and in celebration of this day, I thought I would cover one of my favorite topics: lesbian breakups. Breaking up is hard, no matter your gender or sexuality. I know because I've lived all along the gender and sexuality spectrum, and I've survived a lot of breakups. I've had breakups with straight men, gay men, bisexual men, bisexual women, and, oh, lesbians. Hands down, the most challenging breakup I've had has been with my most recent lesbian-identified relationship.
We each have successes in our lives, but can we use our successes to increase self-esteem? We all have made goals and achieved them, whether small or large. Yet oftentimes, we overlook these successes when life gets to be overwhelming. Have you forgotten your own successes, or even your inherent worth, when life gets to be too much? In today's post, I would like to remind all of us that self-esteem can be boosted by our successes.
Initially, facing verbal abuse made me angry. Each individual can have many different experiences when facing verbal abuse. These circumstances can create a multitude of side effects, ranging from mild to extreme. In some cases, victims of verbal abuse may be angry, lash out at others, and continue the unhealthy cycle.
As a recovering gambling addict, I understand that vulnerabilities play a significant role in amplifying the allure of gambling. Addiction knows no bounds; it is not limited to age, gender, financial standing, or background. However, some are more susceptible to gambling addiction due to their vulnerabilities.
It can be hard to remember that hope is medicine. When someone is first diagnosed with a mental health condition, it can be difficult to accept, and it can seem as if the life you once knew is no longer possible or accessible to you. That's what it was like when I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychotic features. I had a similar reaction when I was later diagnosed with chronic paranoid schizophrenia. But now I know that even with schizophrenia, hope is medicine.
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I know how hard it is for parents to watch a child with mental illness struggle. Know this: you are not alone. Many parents are in this untenable situation.
Your options are very limited for the reasons you have listed. Your son is an adult and get to make his own decisions -- even when those decisions are heavily influenced by an illness. And while some might disagree, the US tends to fall on the side of personal rights, regardless of illness.
If your son is a risk to himself or others, you can see about getting him treated without his consent. (In some States, this is also possible when a person is at a grave threat of decompensation [getting sicker].) I know this is a hard thing to do, but sometimes the only thing that will help someone is the treatment they refuse.
I recommend you check out the Treatment Advocacy Center. They have a hotline and a lot of information online about serious mental illness and treatment of those illnesses: https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/
I also wrote this piece about the situation when help is refused (not associated with HealthyPlace) and it lists some additional resources: https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-blog/person-mental-illness-accept-illness/?swcfpc=1
Finally, I recommend you reach out to other parents in the same situation. You may be able to find these people through groups like NAMI (just Google them). Knowing others facing the same issues can help.
I hope your son is able to get help.
-- Natasha Tracy