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During my sophomore year of college, I discovered I was transgender nonbinary. I began experimenting with the way I presented my gender. For me, that meant being myself for the first time. And that was terrifying. The idea of having my internal sense of self in congruence with my external self felt like turning myself inside out.
I wasn’t surprised when I read a recent study that linked reading with a lower risk of depression. I’ve seen the mental health benefits of reading firsthand, and books are now one of the many tools I use to cope with depression. Reading boosts my self-esteem, distracts my thoughts, and reduces my stress—all contributing to alleviating my depression. Here, I’ll discuss why reading has been so therapeutic for me.
Until recently, I thought conspiracy theories and delusions were the same. That made me wonder why people who believe in conspiracy theories don't receive a diagnosis of mental illness. After reading numerous articles on the differences between conspiracy theories and delusions, I now better understand the difference between the two.
Here's a little-known secret about me: Ever since I was young, I have wanted to be famous. When I was a little girl, I first wanted to be a singer, then an actor, and finally, a writer. While singing and acting didn't pan out because I wasn't passionate about them, writing stuck with me. But I haven't yet achieved fame as a writer, and until recently, it made me feel bad about myself. Although I have made peace with this now, I see a lot of young people with a burning desire to be famous. And it hurts because I know this obsession can leave behind deep mental scars.
I talk to myself all the time. In fact, I don't think I know anyone who talks to themselves more than I do. It's an incessant, running commentary on my existence. It's like I have my own narrator — but not only are they saying what's happening, but they're commenting on it, too. The question is, if I talk to myself, is this a part of bipolar disorder?
Maintaining and improving your cognitive skills, or the ability to use your brain, is an integral part of living happily into old age. Your cognitive skills allow you to think, reason, and process information. Small changes in your daily routine can strengthen these abilities, boosting your brainpower, mood, overall wellbeing, and emotional state.
Many people are struggling with finances and self-esteem, and while these two might seem unrelated, they are actually deeply intertwined. Personal finances have a significant impact on self-esteem and vice versa. Most people fail to realize that the guilt, shame, and insecurity from poor money management can greatly affect their self-perception.
The media's portrayal of alcohol addiction hurts people. Last week there was an article on the front page of my local newspaper about a man who was publicly intoxicated. The paper printed his name, hometown, and mugshot for everyone to see. This story was the talk of the tiny, touristy town where I live. Everyone thought it was acceptable to mock this man who struggles with alcohol. After this media portrayal of alcohol addiction and the ensuing jokes, I found myself in a triggered tailspin.
Advocacy burnout is a real thing. I once thought of mental health advocacy as a vital component of my recovery process. Being able to speak about things I’d kept silent for so long—depression, anxiety, excoriation (skin-picking) disorder—was freeing. It allowed me to find communities of people who understood and empathized instead of downplaying and stigmatizing what I felt. I would never have imagined I’d get burnout from mental health advocacy, but, truthfully, that’s where I’m at.
My medications for schizoaffective disorder cause a lot of weight gain, as readers of this blog well know. So, when I developed osteoarthritis in my knees at age 42, I started going to a nutritionist. I wanted to lose weight to take pressure off my knees. After a while, my nutritionist put me on a popular medication to support weight loss. At first, it was working really well. But then terrible side effects set in, including unbearable nausea, so I had to stop taking it.

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Claire
Good heavens, we may have been friends with the same person. I befriended a woman about 3 years ago when we first moved to this new town. At first, I thought she was sophisticated and well-bread, but the incessant complaining, finding fault, nitpicking, promising to appear somewhere and then cancel due to a myriad of issues; headaches, sleeplessness, mood, anxiety, and other issues....Every social media post is cryptic and always a put-down of the food, the area she lives in, and people in general. I finally had it after she said she needed medical insurance as a retiree and wanted a part-time gig with insurance benefits. She gets the interview, then rants that they didn't call her back ASAP to start onboarding. Then she onboards and is eligible for insurance in 30 days. She simply fails to return to the job. No call. No text. No email, nothing. Worst of all, my husband works there and the upper management barbed him on the new hire and her no-show, no call, no communication. I asked her what happened. She states, "Nope. not for me. too many red flags." "I" 'm just going to focus on my dogs and my weight." I wanted to throw my phone across the room, I was so outraged. She literally couldn't care less how this action affected us. We look like a fool for giving her praises to the management team... I have since just stopped liking her posts or commenting. She used to attend our bible study on Wednesdays and claimed to like it. Now, she is no-show completely. I finally just had it. No more communication with her and life is better. I don't often give up on ppl but once I see where they're heading, it's just a no-win for either party. It's been a little over 3-4 weeks now and I feel just plain better to be away from it. No guilt on my end. I tried, but I am not going to drain my life energy for this person.
Taylor
I am 35yr old and have adhd. I didn't get my drivers license until I was 29. I have very poor sense of direction when driving and even when I have taken the same path to and from home several times. I can't go anywhere without my GPS. I even have great difficulties finding my car when I'm done at the shopping center. It seems to be connected to my adhd struggles.
Paula
I have a lifetime of trauma and BPD and depression & anxiety and i can really identify with everything you have said chronic low self esteem and believing i nothing worthwhile to contribute to any conversations in social situations, iv grown up believing i was a bad evil person who doesn’t deserve anything good that life has to offer, even when im with my family i again feel like im an outsider and all the above caused me to isolate for 16 years and this made my situation a million times worse when i came back into society only months ago, im absolutely filled with Paranoia and i dont feel safe around humans unless im with 2 people that i can sort of connect with but its not often this happens and on any given day im that terrible or feel unable to have a conversation with people i can retreat to isolation again which again makes me worse everytime, i feel like i suffer if im out with people and i suffer if i isolate, im just constantly in a state of anxiety and terror and it paralyzes me and makes me brain shut down where i cant even think of a sentence to strike up a conversation with people, it’s absolutely horrendous and all the negative things my head tells me about myself it’s disturbing! I wouldn’t talk to anyone else the way i talk to myself but i just dont know how to stop it its been so ingrained in me for at least 4 decades now and im 45 years old.. i keep hoping one day it will get easier, but my heads such a mess, honestly and im not a bad person, iv just had a lifetime of trauma since i was a little girl that it completely changed me, that I don’t even recognise myself and neither does my family or anyone who knew me, but i might have more serious mental health iv just never been able to get out the house to go to mental health assessments.. but i wish you all luck!
Anonymous
Hi I'm 15 and I have severe anger issues that I can't control. I don't know why I am like this but when I am super mad I like to punch myself in the head repeatedly until I pass out and I sometimes slam my head against the wall. I used to cut but I try not to. I would just take scissors and you know, snip snip. I think this started when I was younger- around 12 years old. I always thought about sh but now I actually do it. I wish I had never started because once you start you can't go back. It's like a one-way road. There is no way you are going back to where you started.
anon
I do not have a BPD diagnosis (or think I should), but I can relate to much of what you're saying. I had a parent who was bipolar and struggled with addiction and who ultimately died when I was in my twenties. My other parent was extremely religious and I was raised in a controlling and punitive environment. I am extremely codependent on my intimate partners but can simultaneously hold others at a distance when I feel overstimulated or just want to be alone. I too am very triggered by perceived abandonment and really struggle to communicate with others because I feel too much too intensely and cannot make others understand it..I don't always understand it. Despite all of this, I feel very triggered by this post?? I have a friend who also struggles in the same ways I do, but I suspect it is much worse for them. I notice they ALWAYS have plans even when they feel burned out because they are terrified of being alone. We used to be very codependent on one another but now I find myself keeping my distance. And sometimes for unrelated reasons, I have to cancel plans. OR I will state upfront that I tentatively agree to the plans but reserve the right to cancel if I don't feel up to it. I don't know if that makes me a bad friend or not; I have been in counseling for years learning how to hold space for both myself and others. And sometimes that looks like cancelling or rescheduling. I know that this is a trigger for my friend- they not so casually mention other "flaky" friends in conversation- but at what point am I supposed to cater to someone else's (sometimes irrational) needs at the expense of my own peace? Why do I have to give you a play by play of my thought process (and maybe a doctor's note) to get out of doing something? What's an acceptable reason to cancel? This friend recently encourages me to just say I don't want to do something (almost aggressively mind you), but when I do, I feel like I get the silent treatment or otherwise passive aggressive responses. And I am constantly hearing stories about this person's disappointment in other friends who cancel or are perceived as flaky. I want to give them space to process their feelings about cancelled plans, but sometimes I feel annoyed and overlooked. Like their pain is more valid or important than my own. I have not had the courage to talk to my friend about this but feel I need to soon or else I will continue to harbor resentment. Anyway, I know there's room for all of us to feel our feelings but it's so hard to navigate right now. I have been a caretaker in one form or another my entire life. I really need to take care of myself and not feel guilty about it. The end!