Perfectionism and low self-esteem are intricately related. It took me a while to realize I was a perfectionist. And even when I was aware of my tendency to want everything to be perfect, I never saw it as a problem. Struggling to accept mistakes and flaws, and being extremely self-critical, were just some idiosyncrasies I had. But over time, I began to see how my inability to deal with imperfections was impacting my mental health. I could not forgive myself for errors; I would obsess over mistakes and regrets; I held myself to incredibly high standards -- and would be crushed when those standards weren’t met. My perfectionism was creating low self-esteem.
Building Self Esteem
Low self-esteem after rejection is a common occurrence. We may successfully build our self-esteem, only to have it fall apart following a rejection of some sort. This is a universal experience, not something that only people with low self-esteem struggle with. Rejection can be acutely painful. It can make us feel not good enough and lead to some very unkind and harsh thoughts about ourselves. Job rejection and romantic rejection are two very common experiences of rejection. They can both really knock our confidence (although we tend to feel the most hurt from romantic rejection).
Money can affect self-esteem, but basing self-esteem on external factors, like your financial situation, is risky. Our external circumstances can change wildly and unexpectedly. So when your opinion of yourself is wrapped up in what you have or don’t have –- and you compare these externals to others -– your self-esteem becomes very unstable. You become easily crushed. Money is one of those external factors that many of us latch onto for a sense of validation. And it can interact with our self-esteem in a variety of ways.
Self-hatred is an attitude about oneself that can increase the risk of suicide. Some people may not quite get how anyone could hate him or herself. But it’s actually a common problem. Suicide Awareness Month is an opportunity to look at the problem of suicide honestly. This means underlining what the risk factors are for suicide. After all, many people -– whether or not they are personally connected to someone who has thought about, attempted, or died by suicide -– may fail to grasp why the idea could ever enter a person’s mind. Greater understanding will make suicide prevention easier. It allows us to spot warning signs, such as self-hate in connection with suicide, and respond appropriately.
The terms self-esteem and self-worth are often used interchangeably. However, their meanings are quite different. Some people focus on building their self-esteem, while others prefer to strengthen their sense of self-worth. In actual fact, though, the development of both is essential in remaining grounded and healthy. Let’s take a look at some of the key differences between self-esteem and self-worth to see why this is the case.
Weight training builds self-esteem like almost any exercise. When you do not enjoy cardio exercise or any particular sport, you may enjoy hitting the gym and lifting some weights. This might be the case for a number of reasons: you find the gym environment motivating, you get in the zone doing repetitions, you like the feeling of building strength, or you enjoy mixing things up. Whatever the reason for your preference for weight training (also known as resistance training or strength training), the outcome is that weight training builds self-esteem. Here’s how.
Alcohol and low self-esteem connect intimately with one another because when you have low self-esteem, you may try to find ways in order to mask the problem. There are many things that can give you a temporary boost in confidence, including material possessions, status, money, sex, a new relationship, travel, drugs, and alcohol. However, these really only offer you a temporary and superficial form of positive self-regard. None of them can help you address the cause of your low self-esteem. Since drinking is so prevalent and ingrained in people’s lives, I'd like to address alcohol and low self-esteem today. Of course, not everyone drinks regularly because of low self-esteem issues. But if your image of yourself sober is starkly negative, whereas you only feel confident when drunk, then this may be a counter-productive habit.
Living with your parents as an adult is more popular than ever before. Around 20 million young adults (aged 18-31) in the US live with their parents. In the UK, over a quarter of adults aged 20-43 still live at home. And the figure is even higher in Canada, with nearly half of young adults having this living with their parents.
When you struggle with a feeling of unworthiness, it's often because you are attached to certain assumptions about yourself. Here are three negative beliefs to be on the lookout for. You have to be able to notice them – and understand why they're toxic – in order to challenge them.
Being oversensitive to criticism is painful, and it often happens when you have low self-esteem. Whether the criticism is justified or not, your negative view of yourself distorts the criticism in a way that either maintains the low self-esteem or exacerbates it. You may not be able to avoid other people’s criticisms of you, but you can choose how you respond to those criticisms. Indeed, it is imperative to desensitize yourself so that you can separate reality from fiction and can feel confident about your self-worth, regardless of what anyone has to say.