I’m Justin Hughes, and I’m thrilled to be joining "Building Self Esteem." This is a subject I have struggled with my entire life. In fact, I still struggle with it today. When HealthyPlace invited me to join this blog, I found the subject ironic, because, of my assorted mental health struggles, self-esteem is the one I have gotten over the least. I’ve made significant progress toward battling my negative self-talk, but I’ve hardly mastered it. Perhaps that’s precisely why I’m here.
Building Self Esteem
Instead of apologizing all the time for the shortcomings you believe make you less worthy, try practicing forgiveness as a method to build your self-esteem. How will practicing forgiveness help your self-esteem grow?
The obligations we feel towards our family can influence our journey to build stronger self-esteem. Our families are the first groups we belong to, and our earliest relationships can have an impact on all the relationships we form throughout our lives. As I continue my quest for healthy self-esteem, I find myself evaluating each of my relationships to see if they support my goal, and family obligations were some of the latest to fall under my scrutiny.
There's a well-known saying that goes, "Other people's opinions are none of your business," and when it comes to your journey to build self-esteem, this needs to be taken to heart. Self-esteem issues are often very connected to how much we allow other people's opinions to color our own. Read on to learn how my quest to build stronger self-esteem was affected by other people's opinions.
When self-esteem is low, we often think we need to work harder and get more done to be a valued person, but the truth is, your self-esteem will grow when you find the beauty of doing less, not more. When I learned this lesson, nobody suffered from me doing less, and my self-esteem blossomed because I was more likely to successfully fulfill my commitments.
It's important to learn to move on after failure because we aren't going to succeed at everything, and failure can damage our self-esteem. Yet building self-esteem can require us to stretch beyond our limits, even though, sometimes, our efforts may not bring us the results we hope for. When our self-esteem is poor, it's hard to keep ourselves motivated and positive. How do we continue to move forward after failing?
Boundary-setting is an important skill set to practice when you are on a journey to build stronger self-esteem. Like any other new activity that seems challenging in the beginning, your mastery will improve every time you try it.
The journey to stronger self-esteem is easier when you make time to set yourself up for success. Even when we face tasks that we are unable to do, we can improve our success rate by thinking ahead about why we failed and what we can change this time to help us win. With proper setup, we can change the outcome and bolster our self-esteem.
Sometimes building stronger self-esteem is about letting go of things that have been with us for much of our life. In addition to adding new skills to our tool kit, it's important to look carefully at the people, things, and attitudes that we carry with us from the past and decide if they are still relevant to who we are today and who we want to be in the future.
This Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, I am focusing on my self-esteem. On this holiest day for the Jewish people, we ask for absolution from wrongs we have done against others, but it is granted only if we first ask those people for forgiveness. Only then can we be forgiven on a higher level. Today I will ask myself for forgiveness for the ways I have wronged myself by allowing poor self-esteem to color my days.