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Building Self Esteem

Sam Woolfe
Developing skills helps improve low self-esteem, and it's worth it to try. You see, when you have a healthy level of self-esteem, you are able to realize what your capacities are. You understand what you are capable of doing – and who you are capable of being. But if you suffer from low self-esteem, this kind of perspective becomes obscured. You struggle to see exactly what you are capable of. Low self-esteem can lead to extremely negative views, like how you aren’t capable of doing anything right, achieving anything positive, or progressing in any shape or form.
Britt Mahrer
What is self-worth? How does self-worth show in our actions? I recently met two students who had both received a B+ on a test. While the first was practically jumping with joy, the second was more subdued. When I asked the latter if she felt the same excitement as her peer, she responded, "I can't stop thinking about how many questions I missed. I'm an idiot." Though both earned the same grade, one saw it as a sign of her worth, while the other saw it as a sign of worthlessness. This led me to think about, how do we define self-worth? What is it that makes one person believe they are worthy, while another that they are worthless?
Sam Woolfe
We must learn to say "no" because one of the ways that we lose self-respect is when we constantly say "yes" to people. We say yes even though we desperately want to say no. There are multiple reasons why we might do this. We might not want to seem rude. We might want to maintain our self-image as a people pleaser or as someone who is easy-going, agreeable, fun, and open to everything. But by saying yes all the time, we will inevitably act against your our desires and interests. By learning to say no instead, we can build self-esteem. Learning to say no can be a powerful way of respecting yourself.
Britt Mahrer
Explore your low self-esteem? How do you do that? Picture a road map. On one side is a bright red dot, labeled "High Self-Esteem." This is our destination, the place we dream of arriving. Our map is covered in routes that twist and turn, approaching the red dot from all different directions. On our journey we will be able to explore these, finding the ones that lead us closer to our goal. But in order to begin, we need to find the dot labeled "You Are Here." We have to know our starting point. We have to explore the starting point of our low self-esteem to know how to raise it.
Britt Mahrer
My name is Britt Mahrer, I’m a new blogger at HealthyPlace. I’ll be writing on "Building Self-Esteem." This is a topic I’m passionate about and eager to explore. My own self-esteem exploration has taken me many unexpected places, including living as a monk in Thailand, musically directing a Broadway workshop, founding a non-profit organization, dancing and singing on a piano, teaching yoga and circus acrobatics, and fighting mixed martial arts (MMA). My journey with self-esteem has also taken me to some dark, miserable places I never thought I would escape. Needless to say, I have experienced many successes in my life and lived through many failures. 
Sam Woolfe
Depression and low self-esteem often go hand in hand. When you constantly beat yourself up, this can make you vulnerable to depression. Having an extremely low opinion of yourself can lead to depressive symptoms such as persistent sadness, guilt, hopelessness, and lack of motivation. A vicious cycle can then ensue. The symptoms of depression can lead to even lower self-esteem. This makes the depression worse.
Sam Woolfe
For a long time, I avoided dating because of low self-esteem and because I always found it too awkward. I limited myself to meeting people spontaneously or in other contexts. But the truth is if you avoid dating completely, you’re likely to stay single for a while. While dating can bring up nervousness and anxiety like a job interview, it’s often something you have to do in order to increase your chances of meeting the right person for you.
Sam Woolfe
The process of building self-esteem can be a slow one because low self-esteem may have already caused many issues in your life, affecting your job, relationships, and general personal development. When you instinctively view yourself in a negative, harsh way, this can also be a painful experience. This can lead to persistent feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, anger, guilt, and shame. If you’re determined to build self-esteem and improve your mental health, you may want a quick fix. But it’s important to understand that the process of building self-esteem is often long and gradual. Here’s why.
Sam Woolfe
It took me a while to figure out that I’m a highly sensitive man, or more generally, a highly sensitive person (HSP). I realized that many of my personality traits and ways of thinking and behaving could not just be explained by the fact that I was introverted. I have always tended to be highly sensitive to my environment, others, and experiences. The problem, though, is that Western culture – with its emphasis on particular masculine norms – tends to look down on highly sensitive men. The sad truth is that I’ve always beaten myself up for the way I am. But I’ve found ways to embrace my high sensitivity, which I think are worth highlighting.
Sam Woolfe
It's important to be aware of signs of low self-esteem because sometimes it can be difficult to know if you suffer from low self-esteem. This is because people who have low self-esteem carry around a certain self-image that they believe is absolutely true. This negative version of yourself remains a constant. You continue to have the same harsh opinions and beliefs about what you’re like as a person. When these thoughts and negative self-image are sustained for long enough, it can be hard to take a step back and see that it’s far removed from reality. Which is why it’s crucial to be conscious of signs of low self-esteem. If the following ways of thinking and behaving apply to you, then you may have some underlying self-esteem issues that need addressing.