Being with a depressed boyfriend or girlfriend can be challenging, but it doesn't always spell doom for your relationship. Many people with depression maintain fulfilling relationships with their partners, and dating a depressed person is not all that different from dating a non-depressed person. Not all relationships are built to last, however. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for both yourself and your partner is to sever ties and walk away. So how do you break up with a depressed boyfriend or girlfriend, and are you a bad person for wanting to leave?

Breaking Up with a Depressed Boyfriend or Girlfriend: Things You Should Know

Breaking up with a depressed boyfriend or girlfriend should be the same as breaking up with any other person: you should state your reasons openly and honestly, be compassionate and set boundaries. Although a person with depression is not necessarily more vulnerable or likely to take the news badly, there may be some unique considerations to bear in mind.

Here are five things you should know about breaking up with someone who has depression:

You’re not a bad person

You haven’t done anything wrong by deciding to end the relationship. You cannot control your feelings, but you can control how you act on them. Most people have to end a relationship at some point in their lives, and while it is never a pleasant experience, it is the kindest thing you can do for someone you no longer want to spend time with romantically. Whether your partner has depression or not, you have the right to end a relationship that’s not giving you what you need or want.

Your depressed girlfriend or boyfriend doesn’t need your pity

Do not tell your partner that you feel like a bad person or that you hate yourself for hurting them. The last thing they want is for you to pity them or feel like you stayed in the relationship out of obligation. Of course, you can be as honest as you think is appropriate, but sometimes fewer details are better. You can simply state: "I'm sorry, I no longer feel happy in the relationship, and I don't want to be with you anymore." Make sure your partner knows exactly what this means: that you won't see each other for a while, that you're moving out, or that you need a few weeks to think things over.

Depression is not the reason for your breakup

Whatever you do, do not tell your depressed boyfriend or girlfriend that you are ending the relationship because of their mental illness. Depression doesn’t cause relationships to end. It may have been the catalyst for other issues (such as lack of intimacy or financial troubles), or it may have uncovered your lack of compatibility, but it is not to blame. Your partner cannot help being depressed, so citing this as the reason for your breakup will only make them feel worse.

Know that relationships aren’t easy

If you’re not sure whether to stay or go, remember that relationships aren’t always easy. Being with someone who has depression can be challenging, but there is every chance they will get better with time and treatment. The right relationship is one where you’re willing to do the work with your significant other, even when times get tough. Consider whether you were happy with your girlfriend or boyfriend before they were depressed, or whether you can imagine being happy again once they recover. (If you decide to stay, read "What to Do When Your Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Partner is Depressed".)  

Threatening suicide is not a reason to stay

Are you worried that your depressed boyfriend or girlfriend will threaten suicide if you try to leave? This is surprisingly common, but it is not a reason for you to stay in the relationship. Threatening another person with suicide and telling them it’s their fault is emotional manipulation bordering on abuse. If this happens, you should stay calm, avoid getting into an argument, tell your partner you care about them but you’re not going to change your mind.

If your depressed boyfriend or girlfriend threatens suicide, it's important to find them the help and support they need. Don't ignore their threats, and don't leave them unattended unless you believe you are in danger. Call a parent or trusted friend, and if you're worried about their immediate safety, dial 911 or your local emergency services without delay. You can also call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) for crisis help.

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MUST HAVES for People, Friends and Relatives with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

Click the links for books on Sexual, Physical, Mental Abuse and Books on Self-Injury, Self-Mutilation, Self-Harm

Becoming One: A Story of Triumph Over Multiple Personality Disorder
by Sarah E. Olson
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Sarah E. Olson was interviewed by HealthyPlace to talk about her Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Switching Time: A Doctor's Harrowing Story of Treating a Woman with 17 Personalities by: Richard Baer
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Reader Comment: "After reading Switching Time, I am not only convinced but am in awe of the complexity of the human ability to cope with horrific abuse."

The Stranger In The Mirror
by Marlene Steinberg, Maxine Schnall
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Reader Comment: "It is extremely detailed and really helps to sort all of this out in a clear manner."

The Myth of Sanity: Divided Consciousness and the Promise of Awareness
By Martha Stout
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Reader Comment: "Very interesting read and very informative on how we all disassociate. Really shows we all need to learn about ourselves."

Breaking Free: My Life with Dissociative Identity Disorder
By Herschel Walker, Jerry Mungadze (Foreword)
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Reader Comment: "I am very moved by the great courage it took for Herschel Walker to write this book and disclose this deeply personal and difficult aspect of his life."

Amongst Ourselves: A Self-Help Guide to Living With Dissociative Identity Disorder
By Tracy, Ph.D. Alderman, Karen Marshall
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Reader Comment: "We really enjoyed reading this book. It was insightful and well written. It is helpful for family, friends and individuals with DID."

The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook
By Deborah Bray Haddock
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Reader Comment: "What it is, why it is, and what you can do about it. No individual personal stories. Just the facts. I found this book very helpful."

The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)
By Onno van der Hart, Ellert R. S. Nijenhuis, Kathy Steele
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Reader Comment: "It gives clarity into this very complex dimensions of inner and outer lives of chronically traumatized individuals."

Got Parts? An Insider's Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder (New Horizons in Therapy)
By A.T.W.
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Reader Comment: "What "Got Parts?" gives you is a day to day manual for getting through life with DID."

After Sybil... From the Letters of Shirley Mason 
by Nancy L. Preston
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Shirley Mason, Sybil, writes to her friend about life after the integration of her sixteen personalities. Photos, quotes, art recount Shirley's story from 1970 to 1998.

Click the links for books on Sexual, Physical, Mental Abuse and books on Self-Injury, Self-Mutilation, Self-Harm

Several different natural treatments for postpartum depression (PPD) exist. Studies into the efficacy and safety of natural treatments, often classified as complementary alternative medicines (CAMs), have been ongoing. Some natural treatments have been found to be both effective and safe in treating PPD; however, others are questionable in their safety for both mothers and infants. An important caveat with any natural treatment is that caution is needed. Consult with your doctor and other healthcare professionals to verify that any natural treatments for postpartum depression are safe.

Why Some Women Want Natural Treatments for Postpartum Depression

Just as some natural treatments are effective and safe, some traditional medications (such as Zulresso) are effective and safe, too. Also like CAM, some traditional medications have undesirable side-effects. Some women who have recently given birth and are dealing with PPD are concerned about taking medication. When a new mother is already struggling with PPD or postpartum anxiety, adding the extra concern about prescription medication can exacerbate her symptoms.

Another worry among mothers with PPD is that even if a medication is proven to be safe, it might fall short. Prescription medications often have a narrow target like improving the levels and behavior of neurotransmitters in the brain known to be involved in PPD. While that’s a step in the right direction, there’s concern that this might not be enough. Prescription medications often fail to address factors that impact PPD such as:

• Inflammation
• Nutrition deficiencies
• Exposure to toxins

With the above caveat in mind, that not every natural treatment for postpartum depression may be safe, know that according to University Health News, a group that provides expert health advice from top universities and medical centers, natural treatment of PPD is often considered to be safe and effective.

With information about safety and effectiveness in mind, let’s turn to types of natural treatments, including lifestyle, nutrition, and other treatment approaches.

Postpartum Depression Natural Treatment: Lifestyle

How you live your life from the moment your baby is born can have a big impact on postpartum. Many factors are at work in the development of PPD, and lifestyle may or may not prevent it. If you are already experiencing it, certain lifestyle changes can make a positive impact on how you feel.

Lifestyle can involve actions you take. These are particularly helpful in reducing postpartum depression:

• Regular exercise (mild in the early weeks after giving birth—the goal is to stay moving)
• Walking your baby as a form of exercise and bonding
• Get together with other people to remain connected and supported
• Reach out for help (PPD support groups allow you to gain new insights as well as share your own insights with others)
• Take time for yourself to do something you enjoy.
• Set realistic goals every day. Allow yourself to get less done than before the baby came. After all, caring for your baby is more important than doing the dishes.
• Go to therapy. Seeing a therapist is a natural remedy that allows you to sort things out.

Postpartum depression can make it feel difficult to take on any of these lifestyle measures. Know that you don’t have to feel great in order to start these activities. Often, the activities come first and PPD improvement follows.

Treating Postpartum Depression Naturally with Nutrition

Both our physical health and our mental health is greatly influenced by what we eat. Ensuring that you get enough nutrients is important in easing postpartum depression. Some that have been found to be particularly beneficial after childbirth include, but aren’t limited to:

• Omega-3 fatty acids
• B vitamins, especially vitamins B6 (riboflavin) and B12 (folate)
• SAMe (a molecule found naturally in the body that is also produced as a supplement)

The herbal supplement St. John’s Wort has been known to help depression. However, professional opinions are mixed on its safety for breastfeeding moms. It’s imperative to talk to your doctor before taking SAMe or any other supplement, especially if you’re nursing (Postpartum Depression and Breastfeeding: Effects, Safe Treatments).

Other Natural Treatments for Postpartum Depression

In addition to lifestyle and nutrition, you can help overcome PPD in a variety of other ways.

One popular and effective natural treatment for postpartum depression is bright light therapy. It’s safe and easy to use. Sitting in front of a light box for as little as a half hour per day can stimulate your brain in ways that reduce depression. It’s safe for you and your nursing baby, too (but don’t put your baby in front of the light).

Massage is a relaxing form of self-care. Touch has been shown to improve mood and reduce stress. Plus the act of treating yourself sends the message that you’re worth this.

Aromatherapy using essential oils can improve mood, energize, and calm. In postpartum depression, use of essential oils can reduce symptoms, improve your daily life, and boost your overall quality of life—without the use of prescription medication. You can dilute oils in a carrier oil and massage into your body with your hands or a roll-on bottle. Add drops to a diffuser and breathe them in while doing something relaxing, and add drops to a bath. Among the oils that have been found to positively and safely impact PPD are

• Angelica
• Bergamot
• Frankincense
• Geranium
• Grapefruit
• Helichrysum (immortelle)
• Lavender
• Lemon
• Mandarin
• Neroli
• Nutmeg
• Rose
• Tea tree
• Vanilla
• Ylang ylang

Like medications and herbal supplements, essential oils can pass through breastmilk and harm the baby. Oils to avoid:

• Aniseed
• Camphor
• Parsley Seed
• Tarragon
• Wintergreen

Finally, some women turn to their own body as the ultimate natural PPD healer by using hormones as treatments. After childbirth, hormones drop drastically. Estrogen patches can help raise levels of this hormone, which in turn helps regulate mood. If you decide to use this method, you’ll have to see your doctor. Make sure to let her know if you are breastfeeding, so you both can assess the safety of hormone therapy.

Numerous natural treatments for postpartum depression are available to help you recover and enjoy motherhood. They can be a drug-free way to overcome depression, but some things aren’t safe for a nursing baby. Working with your healthcare professional will allow you to discover and use an approach that is the safest and most effective for you and your infant.

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Do you think your boyfriend is depressed? Are you worried about a girlfriend or partner being depressed? Not everyone knows what to do when someone they love has depression. Depression is a complex illness that requires careful management, and it's not up to you to make your partner better. There is, however, plenty you can do to help someone with depression while still looking out for your own needs. Here’s what to do if you think your girlfriend, boyfriend or partner is depressed.

Help! I Think My Boyfriend Is Depressed

If you Google “I think my boyfriend is depressed,” you’ll see that millions of people struggle with this issue every day. It can be difficult to know what to say or do when the man you love is suffering, especially if he’s distanced himself from you and won’t accept help. You may find yourself feeling alone in the relationship and wondering if your boyfriend will ever get better. The good news is, while you can’t fix his depression, there is plenty you can do to help.

Don’t blame him, or yourself

According to Nathaniel Smithies, Founder and CEO of PlusGuidance, you must keep blame out of the equation: “Your boyfriend may feel distant, uninterested and at times even agitated, but you mustn’t put too much pressure or blame on yourself for how he’s feeling. Equally, you mustn’t blame him for how he’s feeling either.”

Help him with everyday tasks

Some men find it difficult to ask for help for fear of appearing weak or co-dependent. If your boyfriend is depressed, he will need help with everyday tasks as well as encouragement to retain his independence. Preparing him a nice meal or buying him a get-well-soon gift is a small gesture that goes a long way, but there may also be practical things you can do to show support, such as driving him to medical appointments or helping him clean his apartment.

Encourage him to talk

Although it’s normal for men to seek help to move past their problems, and therapy is growing in popularity with both men and women, some men are still reluctant to open up about their problems. Encourage your boyfriend to see a therapist or doctor who can help him deal with his depression head-on.

I Think My Girlfriend Is Depressed: What Should I Do?

Thinking your girlfriend is depressed can be worrying, especially if she can't spot the signs of depression or refuses to seek help. Girls and women face many unique challenges when it comes to mental health, especially in the age of social media and pressures from all sides to look or be a certain way. Female hormones also have a role to play, and many women experience depression around the time of menstruation, pre or post pregnancy and when they go through the menopause. All of this can be difficult to understand if you have no experience of depression, so what can you do to help?

Listen and communicate

Although you may feel like it’s up to you to provide an answer or solution if your girlfriend is depressed, you can't fix mental illness. There is plenty of practical and emotional support you can provide, but your main job is to listen and communicate with your partner and encourage her not to feel shame or guilt for being unwell.

Know that there is no ‘normal’

People with depression don't necessarily seem depressed all of the time. There is no normal when it comes to mental illness; some people experience major depressive symptoms for months or years, while others have days where they feel okay and others where they don't, especially during recovery. If you think your girlfriend is depressed but her moods seem to change rapidly, it's important to consult a doctor, as this can be a sign of a mood disorder.

Loving someone with depression can be a lonely place, and it’s important to remember that you deserve compassion, too. You must build your own support system of friends, family and loved ones, so you have somewhere to go when it all gets too much. For local support groups, online forums and information on depression, visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness website.

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Postpartum depression and breastfeeding can sometimes work together to make life miserable for mothers who want to nurse their baby peacefully. Problems with breastfeeding can be a significant stressor in life after childbirth, a stressor that can affect mental health. Indeed, breastfeeding and postpartum depression (PPD) can both be challenges to the quality of life of both mother and newborn.

Breastfeeding problems create effects in multiple areas of a woman’s life:

• Biology (physical health problems throughout her body)
• Psychology (depression, anxiety, self-concept, ability to bond with the baby)
• Social (PPD and breastfeeding problems can lead to withdrawal and isolation, marriage difficulties, and struggles with other children)

Studies have identified a link between postpartum depression and breastfeeding difficulties. One such study found that mothers who experienced nursing difficulties in the first two weeks after childbirth were more likely to develop PPD than those who did not (Rochman, 2011).

Postpartum Depression While Breastfeeding

PPD is more common in women who have difficulty nursing their newborns. A significant part of a mother’s interaction with her new baby happens during feedings. This special time is a major source of infant-mother bonding.

When a mother can’t successfully nurse, painful effects often ensue:

• Feelings of low self-confidence and low self-worth
• Guilt that interferes in daily life
• Stress that can lead to postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety   

This mental health challenge can occur while trying to breastfeed. Postpartum depression can also happen after stopping breastfeeding. Women stop for myriad reasons, all personal and all perfectly okay despite a society that often says otherwise.

Pain, lack of sufficient milk production, difficulty getting the baby to latch, and breast infection are effects of nursing difficulties that contribute to postpartum depression. Pain is strongly correlated to PPD. All types of depression increase pain sensitivity, so women with PPD likely experience higher levels of pain than those without PPD. Additionally, women who experience breastfeeding pain are twice as likely to develop PPD. (Rochman, 2011).

Breastfeeding difficulties are linked to postpartum depression; however, they’re not the only factor that plays a role in a woman’s PPD.

Postpartum Depression and Breastfeeding: More Contributing Factors

Women can face outside forces as well as actions taking place within her own body. The following factors can contribute to or exacerbate PPD:

• Societal pressure (the “Breast is Best” campaign can feel like a rigid law)
• Fear of judgment by others contributes to depression and anxiety
• Trying to seek help but feeling judged, pressured, and condemned
• Extreme stress and frustrations that compromise mental health
• Feelings of guilt, shame
• Hormonal changes (a drop in estrogen and progesterone after giving birth as well as low levels of oxytocin

Treatment for PPD can help reduce or eliminate PPD.

Postpartum Depression Treatment While Breastfeeding: What’s Safe?

If you’d like to continue breastfeeding while treating postpartum depression but are worried about your baby’s health and safety, you can be encouraged by the treatment options available. Some involve medication, while others do not.

Many treatment approaches for PPD don’t involve medication. Reading up on PPD and breast- versus bottle feeding empowers you to make decisions that are right for you and your baby. Working with a therapist can help a great deal as well. In addition to working on postpartum depression symptoms, you and your counselor can work to come to terms with stopping breastfeeding if you need or want to do so. You’ll build knowledge and confidence.

Medication is a legitimate treatment for postpartum depression. Taking certain antidepressants for postpartum depression while breastfeeding doesn’t harm your baby even if small amounts pass into breastmilk. Some, however, are more toxic when they find their way into breastmilk and can be harmful to infants. When talking to your doctor about prescription medication for PPD, always mention that you’re breastfeeding, so you receive the best medication for you and your baby.

The best medication for postpartum depression and anxiety during breastfeeding is a class known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). SSRIs help PPD without entering breastmilk. Some of the most commonly prescribed SSRIs for PPD include:

• Celexa (citalopram)
• Effexor (venlafaxine)
• Lexapro (escitalopram)
• Paxil, Pexeva (paroxetine)
• Prozac, Sarafem (fluoxetine)
• Wellbutrin, Zyban (bupropion)
• Zoloft (sertraline)

While all these antidepressants have been deemed safe, citalopram and fluoxetine have a higher risk of being secreted into breastmilk.

Benzodiazepines (sedatives) may sometimes also be considered, but they are highly controversial and viewed by many healthcare professionals to be dangerous. Medications like Ativan (lorazepam), Klonopin (clonazepam), Valium, Diastat (diazepam), and Xanax (alprazolam) enter breastmilk and have dangerous side-effects for a baby. Babies can lose weight and become lethargic.

When deciding on antidepressants and breastfeeding, consider this: The biggest risk to a newborn baby isn’t any PPD treatment but rather the lack of treatment that can interrupt mother-baby bonding and healthy development. Taking care of yourself and overcoming PPD is the best gift you could give yourself and your baby.

If you decide to forego breastfeeding during postpartum depression, consider Zulresso (brexanolone), the first drug specifically for postpartum depression.

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Dating someone with depression isn’t a good idea. People with mental illnesses are crazy and unpredictable. You’ll never be happy if you date someone with depression.

These are all misconceptions about dating and mental illness that need debunking. Major depressive disorder is the leading cause of disability in the United States for people aged 15 to 44, affecting 6.7% of the adult population in any given year. However, because of its commonality, depression is also highly treatable, so there’s no reason to assume depression will hurt your relationship. Here’s everything you need to know about dating someone with depression.

What’s It Like Dating Someone with Depression?

Dating a depressed person can be challenging for all sorts of reasons. You may question how your loved one can be truly happy in the relationship if he or she is depressed, or you may wonder why you can’t help. However, the first thing you must know about dating someone with depression is that it’s not your job to fix them. If you’re not familiar with depression or the impact it has, this can be hard to understand. However, if you choose to date someone with depression, educating yourself about their condition is key to making the relationship work.

Things You Should Know About Dating Someone with Depression

Being in a relationship with someone who’s depressed can be frustrating. Here are three key things you should know about dating someone with depression:

1. Every case of depression is different

Depression is different for everyone, so your partner’s journey won’t be the same as anyone else’s. Just because you’ve dated someone with depression before (or someone you know has) and it was a disaster, that doesn’t mean every relationship with a depressed person will be difficult.

Firstly, there are many different types of depression, such as:

• Major depressive disorder
• Persistent depressive disorder
• Bipolar depression
• Psychotic depression
• Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
• Premenstrual dysmorphic disorder
• Situational depression
• Atypical depression
• Peripartum depression (depression during or after pregnancy)

Secondly, every person you meet with depression will be at a different point in their recovery. Some may have just been diagnosed; others will have been living with the condition for years. As such, every experience of dating someone with depression will be different. To understand more about your partner’s diagnosis, you will need to ask which type of depression they experience and how it affects them.

2. It’s not about you

Depression is rarely “about” any one person or situation. Rather, it is a medical disorder that occurs due to a complex mix of chemical, genetic and environmental factors. People with situational depression often become depressed as a result of trauma, grief or loss, but that doesn’t mean it’s easier to treat. While your love and support are vital, there is nothing you can say that will cure your partner’s depression: you can only help your loved one with depression.

Your partner's illness may cause them to withdraw from you at times or become irritable. This doesn't mean you've done anything wrong – it may just be symptomatic of your partner's condition. Again, communication is essential here. Tell your partner how you feel without making them feel bad. If you need to blame someone, blame depression. Couples who present a united front rather than turning their frustrations on one another are more likely to succeed long-term.

3. It’s not always depression

It’s easy to blame depression for any conflicts that arise in your relationship or to chalk every “bad day” down to the illness. However, people with depression get sad, grumpy and frustrated just like everyone else – sometimes they just don’t feel great, and that’s not always about depression.

Try to resist minimizing your partner's emotions, even in your mind, by saying "Oh that's just the depression talking." Depression may be just an illness, but it's also part of who your loved one is – at least for now. You can provide comfort and compassion without always having to put a label on their feelings.

The Final Word on Dating Someone with Depression

Whether you're dating a man with depression, a woman with bipolar depression or a person with no mental health history whatsoever, relationships can be tough. Communication, compassion and non-judgment are vital to making a partnership work, with or without depression.

If you're ever concerned about your partner's mental state, or you fear they might be suicidal, you should contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) or call the emergency services.

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Depression in teens is scary and confusing for parents. Adolescence is a time of change that sometimes brings fluctuating moods, including low moods. If your teen begins to act down and withdrawn, you might be concerned about depression but also wonder if this is part of this age. Keep reading to learn how to tell the difference between teen depression and developmental angst and how to help your child who might not act they want your help.

Many teenagers won’t (or can’t) directly tell you that they are struggling with depression, but there are signs you can watch for that will alert you to their need for support.

Teen Depression: Signs Parents Can Watch For

Teasing out adolescent moodiness from teen depression is tricky but possible. Teens can and do ride an emotional rollercoaster, and it’s a normal part of their development to try out new behaviors, shift friend groups, and pull away from parents. This doesn’t mean your teen has depression, nor do occasional bouts of angst.

To help determine if depression is at work in your teen, watch for patterns of behavior. Do you see many of the below signs, or just one or two? Are they frequent or fleeting? Are the signs they exhibit limited to one or two situations (such as being angry and impatient with siblings) or do you see them across many situations (like being noticeably irritable with many people and in many circumstances)? Noticing where, when, and how often you see these signs will help you determine if your teen may be depressed:

• Irritability, anger, or agitation (these may be the most obvious sign of depression in teens)
• Prolonged sadness and, possibly, frequent crying
• Hopelessness
• Withdrawing and isolating (some teens maintain connection with a small group of friends, and this group might be a new friendship circle for them)
• Decline in school performance
• Loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy, and even quitting their activities altogether
• Lack of motivation
• Unexplained aches and pains
• Rebellion, recklessness, and unhealthy behaviors, including substance use
• Running away
• Low self-esteem (a sense of shame, of being “worthless” or a failure, appearance and body image issues)
• Extreme sensitivity to anything they perceive as criticism

Depression in teens, as in other groups, carries the risk of suicide. Watch for signs of suicidal thoughts, such as:

• Romanticizing death, talking about it frequently and positively
• Writing stories, poems, or lyrics about death
• Making offhand remarks about being better off dead or others being better off without them
• Giving away prized possessions
• Seeking out means to take their own life

If your teenager shows any of these suicide warning signs or otherwise leads you to believe that they are contemplating suicide, take them to a hospital right away. They might become very angry, but they will be alive to work through it with you.

Knowing the signs of teen depression to watch for is an important first step. When you notice these signs, here are some things you can do.

Tips for Parents to Help Teens with Depression

Recall that one of the signs of depression in adolescents, also a sign that your child is a teenager, is sensitivity to criticism. Depression can make a teenager interpret any little comment, look, or gesture as reproach, so approach them with caring, concern, and openness. As much as you want to help make things better, if they think you want to “fix” them, they may isolate further and shun offers of help.

To reach a teenager who may be depressed:

• Approach them neutrally and invite them to share what’s happening in their life (avoid asking lots of questions, as this drives teens in general away)
• Listen as they talk—avoid the temptation to jump in with advice and suggestions
• Let any irritation or other negative attitudes float past you, knowing that they’re not personal
• Validate their emotions and thoughts, but you don’t have to condone any reckless and dangerous behavior
• Gently and positively suggest professional help/therapy
• Ask them to take a depression test for teens and share the results with you as a way to facilitate discussion

A very powerful way to help is to simply be there for them. Spend dedicated, distraction-free time with them every day, even if it’s just watching a TV show together in silence. Offer them a trip to a coffee shop (or similar), but don’t force. They probably won’t take you up on it right away, but trust that they know and appreciate your sincerity.

Depression in teens is hard for everyone, especially them. They desire independence, but they’re still kids and don’t quite know how to help themselves. When you remember this and be present with your teen as a teenager rather than a little kid, you will help them beat depression.

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Relationships are one of the most impactful areas of life, so depression from relationships can take its toll on your wellbeing. It can be tough to pinpoint precisely how depression comes about and why. Sometimes there is no reason for depression, while other times depression can occur as a result of loss, grief or physical or emotional trauma (situational depression). So how do you know whether your depression is impacting your relationship or your relationship is depressing you? Read on to find out if depression stems from your relationship.

Relationship Depression: How to Tell Depression from Normal Relationship Troubles

Depression from relationships is possible but it’s important to note that depression and relationship troubles are not the same. While you may feel sad, hurt or angry because of something that happened in your love life, that doesn't mean you are depressed. Depression (or major depressive disorder) is a clinically-recognized condition that refers to feelings of despondency, sadness and low mood for at least two weeks at a time.

Relationship troubles or trauma can lead to major depression, especially if you are genetically predisposed to the condition. Depression varies in severity, but the classic symptoms of depression include:

• Changes in appetite
• Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
• Fatigue
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Feelings of worthlessness and negativity
• Thoughts of self-harm or suicide

If you’re concerned about yourself or your partner, you can call the 24/7 Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255).

5 Signs Your Relationship Is Depressing You

Studies show that 60% of those with depression consider their relationships to be the cause of their illness. Here are the signs that your relationship could be contributing to your depression.

1. You have lower self-esteem since the relationship started
   
   A key sign of depression from relationships is low self-esteem because your partner puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself. It may be subtle behaviors such as never showing an interest in you or socializing with your friends, or it could be outright insults that damage your sense of self-worth.
   
   Try to examine how you feel around your partner and whether this is different from how you feel when you spend time with others. Remember how you felt before you began the relationship – were you more confident or outspoken? Did you feel more like yourself? If the answer is yes, it may be time to examine whether your relationship is contributing to your depression.
    
2. You feel like your partner is trying to change you
   
   Feelings of lost identity are common among people with depression. But if you feel your sense of self slipping away because of your partner, that is a sure sign that something is wrong in your relationship and could contribute to relationship depression. Women and men in emotionally or physically abusive partnerships are afraid to be themselves because they’re often told this isn’t good enough, or else the expectations on them are too high. If this sounds familiar, it may be time to walk away.
    
3. Your relationship lacks physical intimacy
   
   According to a 2013 report, people who are “affection-deprived” are more likely to experience depression and stress, as well as a whole raft of other health conditions. Physical intimacy doesn’t always mean sex, but your partner depriving you of kisses, cuddles and touch could well be contributing to your depression.
   
   Physical intimacy can fall by the wayside for many reasons, and it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed to fail. Our increasingly busy lives mean we don’t always have the time or energy to connect in meaningful ways. Talk to your partner about how you feel without attributing blame. Suggest that you both try to be more tactile. If the problem persists, seeing a couple’s counselor could provide a way forward.
    
4. Your independence is slipping away
   
   Freedom to enjoy your hobbies, interests and social activities is crucial to maintaining good mental health. If your partner is overly codependent or makes you feel like you can't do things on your own, this is a major red flag. Controlling behavior in relationships varies in severity. While some partners may merely be anxious or insecure when it comes to being apart, others will try to make your life smaller as a way of asserting control over you.
   
   They key here is communication. Talk to your partner and explain that your lack of independence is contributing to your depression. Your partner should be understanding and supportive of your need for space, even if they express some anxieties of their own. If your partner shuts you down repeatedly or refuses to listen, you need to consider whether this is the right relationship for you.
    
5. You argue constantly
   
   The last sign of depression from relationships is that you argue constantly with your partner. All couples argue from time-to-time, but if you can’t get through a simple discussion without snapping at one another, this is a sign that all is not well. Daily conflict is exhausting, and it could well be contributing to your depression – especially if you feel stressed or anxious at the thought of spending time together.
   
   If you think that your relationship is causing or contributing to your depression, something needs to change. Sometimes when it comes to depression and relationships you need to say goodbye. No relationship is worth sacrificing your mental health, so if these problems are persistent, it may be time to walk away.

See Also:

• My Marriage, Relationship Is Making Me Depressed: Will Counseling Help?

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While each person experiences depression differently, there are side effects of depression that affects everyone with this illness to some degree. Perhaps the word that encompasses all depression side effects is “suffering.” This mental disorder causes deep misery and suffering because it affects someone’s whole being—mind and body.

Depression’s side effects can range from mild to severe. Mild effects can prevent people from living life the way they want to and probably used to be able to. On the severe end of the spectrum is self-destructive behavior like substance use, self-harm and suicide. For life and wellbeing, it’s crucial to know the side effects of depression so you can recognize them and diminish them.

Depression Side Effects in the Brain

Depression alters brain functioning. There’s a change in the production and behavior of hormones and neurotransmitters that lead to difficulties. If you live with depression, you might experience brain-based depression side-effects such as

• Negative emotions like sadness, guilt, hopelessness, emptiness, and loneliness whether you’re alone or with people
• Cognitive struggles like concentration problems, difficulty with decision-making, memory deficits, language processing difficulties, organizing, planning, and psychological flexibility
• Sleep problems like insomnia or sleeping too much
• Working memory issues, which can include recalling details, thanks to a diminishing hippocampus

These depression side effects cause hardship for people. Unfortunately, brain-based side effects aren’t the only thing people living with depression deal with. Depression is also very much a part of the body.

Depression Side Effects in the Body

Depression is as much physical as it is mental. Depression can cause headaches and discomfort throughout the body. An annoying side effect of depression is that these aches and pains often don’t respond to medication, thus becoming bothersome day in and day out.

Depression can have negative consequences in several different body systems. The digestive, immune, and cardiovascular systems are particularly susceptible to depression.

Digestive problems include stomachaches, nausea, cramping, constipation, and diarrhea. Also, unintended weight gain or weight loss is common, too. Further, there’s a direct highway between the brain and the gut (officially known as the gut-brain axis); many hormones and neurotransmitters travel between the gut and brain—including serotonin, one of the neurotransmitters implicated in depression. Serotonin is produced by both the brain and the gut, something that researchers are currently studying in order to further our understanding of depression and how to treat it.

The Immune system can be damaged by depression. People with depression tend to come down with more colds and flus, and these illnesses typically last longer in those with depression, too. When the immune system is weakened by a chronic condition like depression, people can be prone to more serious, long-term illnesses.

Cardiovascular disease is also linked to depression. One depression side effect related to hormonal changes or imbalances is constricted blood vessels, a big contributor to cardiovascular disease. This can increase someone’s chances of having a heart attack or stroke. It’s been discovered that in addition to this risk, cardiovascular patients with depression have a higher death rate after a heart attack or stroke than those who don’t have depression. Ongoing cardiovascular problems are more common in people with depression than in people who smoke, have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or diabetes (Pietrangelo & Cherney, 2017).

The mind and body are intricately connected. Together, they affect behavior.

Behavioral Side Effects of Depression

Depression affects how we think, the way we feel, and what we do. Some ways in which depression affects behavior include:

• an increased chance of substance use and addiction
• acting differently in relationships in a way that is damaging to those relationships
• decreased sex
• withdrawal and isolation
• inability to work effectively (or even at all), sometimes leading to disability (See also: How Do I Use the FMLA as an Employee with Depression?, Is Depression a Disability? Can You Get Accommodations?)

In severe cases, depression’s effects are life-threatening. Extreme depression can lead people to harm themselves; self-injurious behavior can be incredibly dangerous and lead to hospitalization for wounds, illness or infection, and even death. Suicide is a tragic possible outcome of depression as well. According to WebMD (2015), the majority of people who have depression do not attempt suicide; however, of those who die by suicide, over 90 percent were living with depression or another mental illness.

If you are preoccupied with thoughts of death and/or have suicidal thoughts, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. You can use other hotline services as well.

The very good news is that the side effects of depression don’t have to be permanent. Treatment is available. Talk therapy, depression medication, and support systems are available so you can conquer depression and its effects.

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Talk to your child. If you have noticed any of the symptoms of depression in children, do your best to encourage your child to talk to you about how he / she is feeling and what is bothering him / her.

If you think your child is seriously depressed, do not panic. Professional help is available for both your child and yourself.

Depression is very treatable (read about: treatment for depression in children). Children, teens and adults can all be helped to overcome depression. Start by checking with your family doctor to find out if there could be a physical cause for your child's feelings of fatigue, aches and pains, and low moods.

Talk to your child's school to find out if any teachers have also noticed changes in behavior and mood. Talking to your child's teacher about his/her difficulties may change the way the teacher interacts with your child and can increase your child's sense of self-esteem in the classroom.

Many schools have professional counselors on staff. The school counselor may be able refer you to individual or group counselling to help children and teens cope with stress.

The school counselor or your family doctor may refer you to a children's mental health clinic. If there isn't a clinic nearby, there may be a psychiatrist or psychologist who specializes in working with children. For parents with preteens, read more about helping your preteen with depression here.

Depression Affects the Whole Family

It is important to recognize your own feelings about your child's depression. Since it is not always known why children become depressed, you might find that you are feeling guilty or frustrated. Without wanting to, you may let your child know this and make him / her feel rejected and misunderstood.

It is not easy to cope with the needs of a depressed child. You may need help in learning how to help your child deal with his/her unhappy feelings as well as how to deal with your own feelings about his/her problems. Consider getting counselling for yourself as well as for your child. Many therapists automatically schedule family counselling sessions when they are working with a depressed child.

You should also be honest with brothers and sisters, and other family members about your depressed child's needs. That way, he / she will have several sources of support and understanding.