I Have Bipolar – Will Anyone Ever Love Me?
Recently I was contacted by someone who was unfortunately going through a divorce. He felt that his spouse left him because he was bipolar. He asked me the question that so many people with a mental illness have asked themselves: I’m bipolar – will anyone ever love me?
Well, I can’t tell the future, but I do know a few things about love.
Yup, People with Bipolar Love
I know many people with bipolar disorder who love deeply. OK, I am a person with bipolar disorder that loves deeply.
People with bipolar disorder couple, live together, marry, have children and participate in relationships, just like everyone else. I’ve known some of these people. And from what I can tell, people with bipolar disorder have the same chance as everyone else of being in a happy coupling.
Do Others Love People with Bipolar Disorder?
In a word, yes. People fall in love with people with bipolar disorder every day. Seriously. I’ve seen them do it. People fall head-over-heels, emotional faceplant, birds-are-chiping in love with people with bipolar disorder.
You Have the Ability to Love and to Be Loved
Because in the end, people don’t fall in love with you because of a single line in your biography. People don’t fall in love with you because of your hair color, because you can walk or because your cells are mutation-free. People fall in love with you. The you that is you. The you that is all parts of you wrapped up into one neat little fleshy package.
And remember, no one would question whether others with a disability or disease could be loved – of course they can. Can people in a wheelchair be loved? Can people with cancer? Can people with seizure disorders? No one would doubt for a moment that these people are as loveable as everyone else and yet us, with a brain disorder suffer from doubt.
Is bipolar disorder an issue in a relationship? Yes, of course it is, but it isn’t an insurmountable one nor is it an all-defining one. Every person has challenges some of our just happen to be defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).
Love is tough to find even for the most well among us, but Love Happens, just like bipolar disorder.
Tracy, N. (2013, February 28). I Have Bipolar – Will Anyone Ever Love Me?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, February 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2013/02/have-bipolar-will-anyone-love-me
Author: Natasha Tracy
I have a very severe form of bipolar disorder and I was diagnosed when I was 19. The stigma of mental illness has caused me to feel unloveable. I have a hard time organizing my surroundings and this has also made me feel unloveable. Sometimes I feel like a complete mess. My bipolar disorder is under control now with medication and I am trying to organize my house so that I will feel like a normal person. Hopefully the time will come that I feel that I will be able to give time to a relationship, but for now, the clutter seems to have taken over.
Great article, thanks for sharing...
Yep. Happily married right here. Dating (and inseperable) for three years and married for two.
A 'silver lining' of developing bipolar type 1 disorder was that my friendships and love relationships polarized. I was used by many people for my generous and kind nature. Suddenly the users disappeared and my life is full of quality relationships.
I was with my husband (not yet married) when I finally received my diagnosis. He knew the full extent of how bad it could get. And yet he still wanted to marry me. Now who's the crazy one? He hasn't regretted his decision yet. His friends ask him how he got such an amazing wife. It's not easy but we work it out. And yes, my symptoms are as bad as anyone else's.
My husband never once complains about me in front of another person. He's got up in the middle of the night to rub my head. He's come to appointment after appointment. He asks my advice about things. He doesn't let me use the bipolar as a cop-out. He doesn't argue and yell and play the victim if I'm snappy and irritable and forget to answer him when he speaks (but we talk about it later). He never puts me under pressure, or makes threats. I could go on.
Point is, there's always hope. Bipolar need only destroy a marriage if you allow it to. It's a catalyst, rather than a cause.
I needed to hear this. I worry about this every day of my life. Thank you.
I just wanted to say this article gave me hope. I got offended when I overheard some people talking about how they divorced their husbands because they were bipolar and how I particularly struggle in relationships in having to explain the mystery to me in taking those "breaks" and space away from my dates to get some balance in my life; men misuderstand. In fact alot of people misunderstand my anger for assault and dangerous person, but I'm not I need love just like everyone else. It is during those times of intense pain I wish I could have a hug.