Mental Health Blogs

Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder

I have not done a book review on here but that’s because I don’t tend to read help books on bipolar disorder – I write that material, not read it. But recently one such book has landed in my possession and I’d like to take the time to recommend it: Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder – Understanding and Helping Your Partner (second edition) by Julie A. Fast and John D. Preston, PsyD.

People often ask me how to help others with bipolar disorder and I believe this book could help partners answer that question.

Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder

The reason this book works, I think, is because the authors have been there. They write in kind language, in an approachable style that I believe is readily accessible to people. There are chapters on:

  • Treatment plans
  • Moods
  • “What Works”
  • Triggers
  • Sex
  • Work and Money

And others. These are things that every couple battling bipolar disorder needs to know.

Moreover, the book includes exercises the loved one can do to tailor information to them. For example, there is an exercise: “Break Down You Partner’s Bipolar Disorder into Specific Symptom Categories.” This exercise includes:

  • Finding the consistent problems
  • Interviewing your partner
  • Listing the mood categories in your journal

In other words, this is an exercise designed to help you get a handle on the moods your partner really has and not just the moods listed in a textbook.

The Good About the Book

This book actively involves the partner of a person with bipolar disorder in the treatment process and helps them to understand all aspects of the disease, treatment and recovery. This book talks about hard truths and gives examples of people who have been through it. This book provides a structure for a useful dialogue between the person with bipolar disorder and their partner. This book makes no judgement about bipolar disorder or treatment plans but just lays out the information in a plain way. This book gives facts that are grounded in psychology and psychiatry.

The Bad About the Book

Clearly, I like the book but that doesn’t mean I think it’s perfect. The one part I really don’t like is the appendix on medications. I don’t think it’s overly accurate and that’s because in order to be fully accurate about the drugs they mention would take up a whole book. I don’t believe that people should get “overview” information about a drug because it glosses over all the possible impacts of the drug. I think including this appendix is akin to giving someone an overview of a handgun and not an in-depth course – you could save your life, or you could shoot yourself in the foot.

In short, I don’t think the medication appendix should be there.

Final Opinion About the Book

Obviously, I feel the good far outweighs the bad in this book. While I, personally, would like to have seen more references to scientific literature and I don’t think the medication appendix is appropriate, I do think the rest of the book stands on solid ground and would be a huge help to partners of people with bipolar disorder. I think that whether your partner has just been diagnosed or whether you have been battling this illness for years, there is knowledge to be gained from this book. I definitely give the book a buy recommendation.

You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or GooglePlus or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter.

(Disclosure: no one is paying me for my opinion, but my copy of the book was given to me by the publisher (without expectation of review). I have no financial interest in this book.)


This entry was posted in Bipolar Treatment, Coping, How Others See Bipolar, Impact of Bipolar, Understanding Mental Illness and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder

  1. Paul Winkler says:

    Natasha, do you really think it is inappropriate to give brief descriptions of the many bipolar meds to partners of bipolar patients? I know my own wife, for one, couldn’t care less about the gory details, and might appreciate a synopsis, but wouldn’t read anything more in depth. I haven’t read this book, but the appendix sounds like a great idea as a quick reference. The internet is always available for more complete descriptions, side effects etc.

  2. Hi Paul,

    I understand that perspective, the problem is I have seen too many people hurt by side effects because of this type of thing. People need to fully informed because they need to take responsibility for the decisions they make and real information is the only way to do this. I would rather people ask their doctor about side effect information rather than read an overview and think they know everything there is to know.

    - Natasha

  3. Hi Natasha

    Its really important to seek advice from your doctor when it comes to medication. Everyone reacts differently. Great review by the way I am going to have to give this book the once over.

    Thanks, again Dan

  4. Kaitlin Panda says:

    This sounds great. I just have to figure out a way to get him to read it. I think I’d feel like I’m making him do homework on me because I’m screwed up, doh. Regardless, thanks for the recommendation. :)

  5. Lisa Burger says:

    I’d rather just stay single – My book will be called “On staying single and being bipolar”

  6. Lisa Efthymiou says:

    Now I need to find a book (or other publication) of a story of someone with a teenage daughter with bipolar. (Bipolar-disorder)+(teen-angst)is so tough to mother. I read “Pure chaos” but found it gut-wrenching rather than more hopeful. I still hope my daughter won’t get that bad. Maybe I’m way too naive.

  7. Hi Lisa,

    There are books on bipolar teens. I can’t recommend any one specifically, but maybe you will find one helpful.

    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=bipolar+teen

    - Natasha

  8. Pingback: Loving Someone with a Mental Illness | Bipolar Burble Blog | Natasha Tracy

  9. Angel says:

    What’s the difference between the first and second edition of this book? im wanting buy it on ebay but dont know should i buy both or just the second edition…i also found a lot of the first edition and the bi polar survival guide..i was thinking about buying the lot and then buying the second edition separatly…do i need both editions… i suffer from BPD…i been with my bf for a year…but six months ago he had to experience my low… i was off my meds as i regularly do when i feel invincible and dont think i need them…. he broke up with me a week and a half ago…and it made me realize i need to take my meds and stay on them…we truly push away the people we love most… he didnt understand what he felt he was trying to “fix”…and he felt helpless…he knew from day one i was bi polar but never did any research on it…we still have to live together for the next 3 months… ilove his crazy…lol not bi polar crazy =P….im hoping within that time he can find his love again…but either way i need to focus on myself..and my journey first. thank you for reading this

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