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The man typed some figures and stared at the computer screen, eventually muttering, "You qualify for $440 a month in assistance. Your rent is $740. Don't know how you're going to do it." I stared at a rip in an orange, Naugahyde chair. I didn't know how I was going to do it either. It was the year I discovered what it's like to live on welfare (How to Get Disability Benefits for Mental Illness). I learned valuable lessons about poverty that I won't soon forget. And I came face-to-face with the realities of severe mental illness and invisible disability.
Last week I took my 16 month old daughter to a local indoor amusement park with a few of my cousins who also have young children. We had a great time doing all the “kiddie” rides like the carousel and train. My daughter has never been a picky eater and everyone knows that food is the way to her little heart. So what do most people like to do when they are trying to befriend her? Feed her. She’ll waddle right up to anyone who is eating something with a twinkle in her eyes and her mouth open like a baby bird.
When my son was born in 1998, I was warned at the hospital that my hormones were fluctuating, and I might therefore experience some sadness over the following several days. But I fought for over a year to regain some sense of emotional stability. Already a hyper-vigilant person, my anxiety and panic became intolerable. Depression drained me completely.
I recently received a comment regarding bipolar medication, its development and the mental health care system in general. The commenter accuses the mental health community of being corrupt and asks, “Why are we forced to take such bad bipolar medicines?”
Are we too busy to truly enjoy the great little things about life? What’s the harm in slowing down and doing nothing once in awhile? Those are my thoughts in my video, The Sweetness of Doing Nothing, which is based on a quote from the movie Eat, Pray, Love.
You know the feeling. You're tired--no, make that exhausted, your head hurts, your stomach hurts, and you just can't seem to be able to get with the program. And you haven't had a drop to drink. Then you look at the calendar and realize it's the first week of January.
Welcome to the "Holiday Hangover."
Sun Tzu endorses engaged avoidance:
According to The Art of War author, "winning without fighting" is a key principle for managing every confrontation. And when it comes to anxiety the hardest battles are with our selves.
I've tried really hard to avoid my anxiety but it's there anyway. No matter what I do, or where I go. Now, of course I still avoid it. But I do so strategically.
I wanted to write a thoughtful, informed piece on parent blame as it pertains to mental illness. So I went to the Internet to research. My first search of the words "parents" and "blame" came back with a staggering number of results. It's obvious parents get the lion's share of blame for the mental health issues of their offspring. The question is--why?
"When she feels one emotion strongly enough, she doesn't know it's possible to feel any other way." That's the mind of a suicidal person. ... Someone once said "Every suicide is a double homicide." After losing a loved one to suicide, the survivors may feel like they died, too.
Alternative treatments for bipolar disorder, and any mental illness, abound. People will advise you to do anything from cut gluten out of your diet, to take an herbal cocktail to cleans your aura. I, myself, have seen a few alternative health care practitioners and tried a few of their treatments. And while I didn't personally find any benefit, and I don't find most of these treatments credible, if you are going to try a bipolar treatment outside of medicine, there is one major rule to follow.
My point being, I'm right there with you. I hate the rollercoaster. I just want to live life without being in a state of constant fight or flight mode, only for his character to change and de-escalate and I fall for the person I fell for all over again.
Exhausting is a horrible word. The understatement of all understatements, if you will.
I wish there were better support groups for this kind of mental health condition.