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I have bad dreams pretty much every night. They take place in different locations, with different people, but the nightmare is always the same. I am desperately trying to get people from my past to accept and love me. Despite my best attempts, I am always rejected. Everyone always hates me and I feel completely worthless and unworthy to be around anyone. When I wake up, I feel sad and depressed. Not my favorite way to start the day.
When everyday my ToDo list is filled with ToDidn’ts, here’s how I keep my spirits up.
I hope my bipolar can get better; I dream to be free of bipolar disorder. Oxford dictionary defines hope as an expectation and a desire combined. It's synonyms are wish, ambition and dream. I dream of sunshine, freshly mowed grass and the absence of bipolar disorder. Can my dream become a reality? Can my bipolar get better? How can I accomplish this?
There you are knee deep in errands and you suddenly remember what it is you forgot to do last night before you went to bed. Quick! Write it down before you forget! Until I learned to do this simple act, many wonderful ideas were lost to the ether—never to be thought again. A reader suggests one way to prevent that from happening.
I thought I would discuss what I use as my favorite tools and resources for learning about and dealing with my anxiety and phobias. Reading Material- The biggest help that I have gotten has been from the book The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook Fourth Edition by Edmund J. Bourne. The guidance in this book touches on everything that I can think of on how to manage your anxiety and phobias. I highly recommend trying to find this book at your local library. I was hopeless and this book gave me the motivation to take control of my life again. Main things that helped me were learning about Self Talk, Positive Affirmations and Mistaken Beliefs.
Amanda_HP
I first noticed depression symptoms in the spring of 1990. At the time, I was a part-time college professor, with three healthy children, a loving husband, a beautiful home, and money in the bank when clinical depression (aka major depression) grabbed me and brought me to my knees. When I was finally diagnosed with clinical depression, I asked how can I be depressed? We knew about situational depression, but very little about clinical depression.
Amanda_HP
Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) is a treatment for depression and other psychiatric disorders. One source of information for this essay is the article in Psychiatric Services in the September 2001 issue, entitled “Electroconvulsive Therapy.” ECT treatment is administered by trained professionals in a medical setting. Usually a psychiatrist and an anesthesiologist are present. While I am not a provider of ECT, I have referred patients with depression for this treatment. I refer patients for ECT when other types of treatment have been ineffective in treating a mood disorder. This is a particularly attractive option in persons with severe, recurrent depression who are at risk for suicide.
What do you say to taking chances? Starting fresh. Being you, but better. Would you take a chance to live the life you've always dreamed of? Would you do anything to trash your bipolar life and evolve into an improved you? Jump off the edge even if you're afraid. You're worth it.
We live in scary times. Between the recession and natural disasters, you never know when a crisis could hit your home. Many people are one pay check away from losing everything. We live in scary, stressful times. It makes sense that now is the time to plan and prepare for what may lie ahead. We can't predict the future, but we can do our best to prepare for it. And if we are prepared, we won't have as much fear.
How do you prevent yourself from leaving things behind all the time? Let me introduce to you my patent-pending ADHD Fuddy Duddy System™!

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Comments

Carol
I am so sorry to hear you are battling myeloma - horrible disease. I feel for you and understand your post completely!!
Emily W
Thank you I need to read this. So many articles seem go from the adult child side and basically says the mother is always wrong I admit I am not perfect. But latitude I have to given them is not given back - no respect.. All I ever wanted to do is love & support them and let find their way. They are very successful adults my children I did /do not have any hidden agenda just try my best. Yet I feel like I have walk on eggs shell and if I voice an opinion it often seem as negative or criticism which it is not. What makes it worst is my husband their father can say the same things and his comments are greeted warmly, he is praised Really starting to feel I need to be invisible in family occasions. Just smile and listen yet feel so emotional that if I say something I met with hostile response.
Elizabeth Caudy
Hi Kellie. Thank you for your comment. Thank you for complimenting me on my song... I'm in the middle of composing another one! Best, Elizabeth
Kellie Holly
Hi Elizabeth, I think your song is pretty. I hope you keep composing and playing.
Dawn Gressard
Hello Ash!
It is wonderful to hear that you are embracing YOUR progression. Although it is natural to compare ourselves to others around us, it is unhealthy. However, it does take self-awareness, continuous practice, and willingness to change our thinking. The fact is that we are all 100% unique, and there is no one else like us. Thus, we can only follow our own journey and walk along at our own speed when it comes to recovery. How we recover is normal -- at least for us.
Think of it like this: trauma is our normal reaction to an abnormal event, plain and simple. It doesn't matter if someone else doesn't think our trauma is valid -- it is precisely that, OURS. In return, our journey of recovery should also be OUR normal progression from the trauma or mental health condition.
I am happy to hear that you can change your thinking and are trying to not compare yourself to others. Keep strong and go forward at your own pace.