To celebrate my husband Tom’s birthday last week, we went to the Immersive Van Gogh Exhibit, Chicago, one of several venues of this virtual show. I was afraid my schizoaffective symptoms might get in the way of enjoying the exhibit or even be triggered by all the lighting and music. But the experience turned out to be so beautiful--it brought tears to my eyes. Here’s why.

Every summer, I go to the Renaissance fair. I’ve been going with various friends since I was 18, but since I met my husband Tom in 2007, we go together but don’t invite other people because of my schizoaffective anxiety. Even just hitting the "Ren Fair" with Tom can still make me anxious, and sometimes I even experience the schizoaffective symptom of hearing voices. Crowds do that for me. But that can happen anywhere, and I still like to go.

A blessing was recently bestowed upon my family--my brother, Billy, and his life partner, Sandy, had a baby girl, whom I adore. Even though they live in California and I live in Illinois, and even though I haven’t yet met Baby, watching videos of my niece has quickly become one of my coping skills for my schizoaffective anxiety.

My mom and I go north to Door County in Wisconsin together every spring for our mother-daughter weekend--just the two of us. We go back up with the rest of the family later in the summer. Last year, things were very restricted because of COVID-19. This year, we were vaccinated. Being vaccinated really helped with my schizoaffective anxiety, and it also made a big difference for our trip.

Walking has always been a way to help with my schizoaffective anxiety. That is, it was until the COVID-19 pandemic hit. Then walking became scary until I got vaccinated and became fully immunized. So really, my vaccine reduced my anxiety.

I got my first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine yesterday. Before this event, I was very excited to be getting a shot--and excited that I’d managed to finally ace an appointment. But my schizoaffective disorder made me anxious as well as excited. Here’s why I was anxious.

I wasn’t going to write another article about my seasonal affective disorder (SAD) but, compounded with my schizoaffective disorder, my generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and with COVID, it’s been brutal this year.

Valentine’s Day is coming up. As both a schizoaffective and just as a regular person, I have a lot to say about Valentine’s Day, but what I have to say might surprise you.

I was looking forward to January 6, 2021. That was a day of hope--that was the day Joe Biden would be confirmed as the next president. But something went terribly wrong.

The holidays are always a hard time of year for me--and for my schizoaffective anxiety. I have a big family, and I love them all very much, but being around so many people triggers this anxiety. But something happened this year right before Christmas that made me sure I will never take being with my family over the holidays for granted again, even if I get stressed out.