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Schizoaffective Disorder

I have a slight tear in the meniscus of my left knee, and the whole situation stinks. For weeks, I could barely walk. My knee is getting better now, thanks to physical therapy. Not only is the physical therapy making my knee better--and hence making my schizoaffective disorder better--but the fact that I have to drive somewhere in the snow and ice of a Chicago winter twice a week is chipping away at my fear of driving.
I find it really hard to use positive self-talk to help me through schizoaffective disorder symptoms. I think the reason is that when I try to do so, I feel like I’m “kidding myself.” Somewhere, I picked up the idea that depressed, negative thinking is more realistic than positive thinking. Now that I realize I think that, though, I’m working to change the perspective.
This Christmas, my husband, Tom, is giving me a new Pandora charm bracelet. I’ve been putting charms on the first bracelet he gave me since March of 2012, when I quit smoking. That’s right; this March will mark 10 years since I quit. Here’s how I did it.
I’ve gone for a really long time without hearing schizoaffective voices. In fact, I’ve gone over four months without this disruptive schizoaffective symptom. I credit it to a psychiatric medication change.
For the past six weeks, my left knee has been causing me a lot of pain. The pain is flaring up as I sit to write this. It may have been caused by doing a stretch during an online ballet class--I honestly don’t know what caused it. What I do know is that it hurts a lot, and it’s wreaking havoc on my schizoaffective anxiety and schizoaffective depression.
I used to dread the holidays because of my schizoaffective anxiety. This year, however, I’m looking forward to them. Here’s why.
I am a pacifist. I want to share with you how pacifism serves as a tool to help with my schizoaffective suicidal ideation. (Note: This post contains a trigger warning.)
I’ve told you about how exercise helps with my schizoaffective anxiety, but what I haven’t shared is the fact that my schizoaffective anxiety can make exercise stressful. Here’s why.
This summer, I went to Door County once again with most of my immediate family, including my brother’s new baby. Of course, my schizoaffective disorder came along for the ride. I didn’t have a perfect trip, but I still managed to have a reasonably good time.
I was diagnosed as schizophrenic in 1999 after a psychotic episode at college. My first diagnosis of a serious mental illness markedly changed my sense of fashion, and the changes stuck even with a later reassessment that I was schizoaffective. I have a few ideas as to why.