advertisement

Blogs

Do you know the feeling when you successfully book your flight tickets and accommodation for a vacation? No, not the feeling of excitement. An uncertain feeling in the pit of your stomach that tells you something might go wrong on the trip-- anxiety. 
Boundaries are one area in my life that I wish I was better at. I have trouble completely putting myself first, even if it becomes a detriment to myself, especially my mental wellbeing. It dawned on me though that I have set boundaries before. While I had thought I didn’t really have any, I do have boundaries I’ve set up to protect my mental health. The reason I’ve never really thought of them in that light is because I’ve struggled with feeling like a bad person by doing so.
Distraction from bipolar symptoms is something I rely on as a coping skill. In fact, it's pretty much an everyday coping skill for me. Bipolar symptom distraction may sound overly simplistic, and sometimes it is (although, not always), but sometimes the simple things just work.
This is going to be another one of those posts that doesn't have any easy answers. I've realized that many of my mental health issues are ones that don't have simple fixes, and that sometimes, the best I can do is think out loud to at least attempt to get a better understanding of what I need for myself. I hope all who read will allow me the indulgence.
I never really had a hobby, per se. I married young and had three kids. That, plus a full-time job, left little time for me, let alone hobbies. I write—this blog, for instance—and read, but I don't consider either of these hobbies. As a creative outlet, and with the hope that I could channel my thoughts and energy into something that wasn't all about my trauma and residual anxieties, I decided it was time to pursue a hobby.
If you had asked me a year ago to describe someone suffering from depression, I would have given you a generic and straight-up basic answer. My response would have gone something like this: A depressed individual--versus an individual who is currently battling depression--is sad and doesn’t enjoy pleasures that were once joyful. I’ll be honest, my answer is not incorrect, but I can’t seem to shake the hint of judgment in my tone birthed from ignorance towards depression that I had at the time. I would even go as far as to say that I had an unconscious bias towards the illness and mental health issues in general; little did I know, depression, like people, comes in all shapes and sizes.
In a previous blog post, I illustrated how I combat harmful thoughts about food. Now I want to take this a step further and examine how I recalibrate behaviors around eating. These days, I have a healthier relationship with food than I ever thought possible. I attribute much of this transformation to a framework called intuitive eating—and the decision to make a peace treaty with food as part of my eating disorder recovery. 
Verbal abuse can look different to everyone. For example, while some people experience humiliation, others may suffer from gaslighting. Alternatively, some abusers use multiple forms of abuse to control their victims. Unfortunately, my story involves virtually every textbook element of abuse, from verbal assaults to gaslighting and controlling and manipulative behaviors. 
Recently, I came down with a really bad cold, and my schizoaffective disorder and accompanying anxiety made it worse. I honestly thought I would never get well again. Here’s what it was like.
Violent entertainment is nothing new to humankind, but depictions of self-harm in video games can be especially shocking—even more so, perhaps, if you struggle with self-harm yourself. 

Follow Us

advertisement

Most Popular

Comments

Nanette
I don't think anybody should feel bad about being demisexual! Sex is sooo much better when emotional attachment goes along with it. Societal pressure to be a "player", or not to be "frigid", is the real problem. They are wrong, not us. Quality is better than quantity!
Just me
HM it's kinda nice when difficulties happen in our lives we get to see who is real and who is trashhhhhhh. You're better than that but love yourself unconditionally and say oh thanks lol no need to be bitter lots of ppl dying out there poor homeless etc be happy you're not one of them and that you don't have some other more deadly disease. Acceptance is the way to go. Love you're self. Ur still hott!
Elyelye eh eh
Giiiiiirl I know how you feel. The stigma is real but you know what ppl can feel you insecurity. Just LOVE YOUR self so rigorously that no one has the gal to try an say anything negative to you and if they drag you drag them right on back haha it is what it is. You chose life over death and that's a GOOD thing.
Just me
I felt this way before like so hurt no one told me I would gain so much weight like yes feels like morbid obesity. But it opens my eyes to other people's perspective and for that I am grateful. It also taught me not to be shallow and vain and love my self no matter what. I met a girl that was so obsessed with looks and so bipolar that she kept getting arrested for dancing outside this guys house for attention every single day, her behavior was bizarre and I'm happy I met her because it made me realize I do not want to be that way. I'd rather be fat and sane they psychotic and "pretty" tbh she had a garbage personality and since she refused to take medication I had to cut her off. Her life was also a huge mess and she was incredibly toxic so yeah life is better medicated.
Ely Ely Ely eh eh eh eh
I'm sooo sorry you're feeling that way. But look you must love your self so unconditionally it's a pure act of rebellion. Get up stand up fight for your right. Who cares what people say you are not your body you are your soul!!!!!