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Medication lapses at work can be detrimental to people with mental health issues. I have experienced a myriad of problems that came from a lapse in medication. These problems have included withdrawal symptoms, a resurgence of symptoms, the increased risk of relapse, and the risk of self-medication. There are many reasons why a person may have a lapse in medication in the workplace, but one that has really affected my mental health is insurance refusing to cover my medication.
Can an abuser change? That is the question. One common characteristic many individuals share is the belief that people can change for the better. When verbal abuse occurs in relationships, the behavior may continue unless one or both individuals move to change the dynamic. This change can come from the abuser or the victim, forcing a shift in the relationship.
"Trust the process" has been my eating disorder (ED) recovery mantra for almost 15 years. The clinicians who ran my residential treatment program used to chant this phrase ad nauseam. Back then, it was a constant source of irritation. But now, I find myself returning to those three words more often than I ever bargained for. In fact, this recovery mantra feels just as relevant in my current season of life as it was at the starting line of ED recovery.
I consider antipsychotic medication the most critical piece of my treatment. However, no matter how well the drugs work, I'm still human and have other things going on. On my best days, when I have very few symptoms of schizophrenia, I am still in relationships with others. I still have memories. I have habits. I have patterns of communicating, traumatic events that I've experienced, and a connection to myself. For example, I'm living with the grief of my dad moving into a nursing home and the aftermath of a global pandemic. For me, antipsychotics and therapy work together.
In my final post for the "Coping with Depression" blog, I’d like to wish you all a sincere farewell and offer a few lessons I’ve learned over the last six months.
I've got this oddly specific fear of abandonment at night. It's bizarre, but when my partner dozes off before me, I feel like a lost child, abandoned at the mall. I'm aware it's not rational; my partner is right there, snug beside me, and I'm a grown adult who's tackled the mall solo countless times. But that lingering fear of desertion from my past creeps in as if it were determined to sabotage the present.
Social media addiction is real. The definition of addiction is a complex psycho-physiological process manifested in any behavior in which a person finds pleasure and relief and therefore craves but suffers consequences without being able to give it up. Typically, addiction is associated with drugs, gambling, or shopping. But recently, after years of scrolling Instagram before getting out of bed, I couldn't help but wonder how many other people do the same thing. How many of us meet the criteria for social media addiction?
Pessimism is a trait usually associated with negativity and a cynical outlook. But did you know there is another type of pessimism that can play a role in planning for success? Defensive pessimism, as it's called, is a strategy that offers an alternative approach to navigating all the unexpected circumstances life may present.
Talking about trauma is not an easy feat. But if you're constantly reliving a specific traumatic event or cycling through negative thoughts surrounding the trauma, confiding in a trusted loved one can help you feel less alone. A supportive community is integral to trauma recovery, and you don't have to go through it all alone. You can tell about your trauma.
You may hear the term "tough love" thrown around in conversation. While tough love isn't always verbal abuse, it can sometimes cross the line. Knowing the difference between tough love and verbal abuse can help you refrain from using verbal abuse or being the recipient in a verbally abusive situation.

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MK
Thank you. I can relate to parts of this story as a 54 year old who has felt suicidal since 10. However, in my case I can’t blame parents who expected perfection. They were normal people. My mistakes are real, significant, and frequent. For example, I just got off a work call. Our CEO is friendly and thanks literally everyone else. With me, my phrasing is awkward, incomplete, and wrong. He didn’t even know who I was and frustratingly asked me to follow up. Sure enough, the information was already available and someone else provided it. Later, one of my coworkers saw me and said “wow, that was ugly”. My boss gave me my first year review. His statements include j“you’re struggling, you don’t seem to put the dots together, I don’t have faith that you can do this job”. These are verbatims. If this only happened every couple of months it wouldn’t be bad. However, it’s daily. Some may say that I haven’t found the right fit and to try something else. But that’s the thing, I’ve tried all sorts of jobs and I keep making big mistakes. I went to military pilot training and barely made it through. Once in the flying squadron I struggled so much I was asked to leave. “Try something else”. I did; engineer, sales, marketing, hands-on work. Always the same. Also, I have no real friends. I thought I did a couple of times but I was never invited to their important events, such as 40th bday parties, kids weddings, etc. After all these years I prefer to be by myself.

Once a year or so, things will get better and suddenly my mood lifts. However, I’ll soon make another mistake and go right back to my long term severe depression. Thus, it is clear to me that I don’t have a chemical imbalance or some sort of mental disorder. Instead, my depression is completely explainable. I’m a lonely screw up despite decades of effort. These circumstances would make anyone suicidal. I made major attempts three times. At age 20 I had a major anxiety attack the day before my junior year. I went in the woods near my house with a pistol. I held it to my head but eventually chickened out. I convinced myself that things were would get better. Deep, deep
down inside I knew they wouldn’t and that was the case. Most recently I’ve found a large rock outcropping at the exit I take for the gym. I wish
I wasn’t so afraid. I feel regret every day that I didn’t go through with it at 20. So much pain.

Every other suicidal person I’ve met has flawed thinking and can get back on track. In my case, however, my thinking is clear: I am a friendless screwup. The evidence is there plain as day.
Rue
Hi Alyssa! I hope I'm not too late. With the weather, it might not be. Just say it's a bit chilly, and that the water is cold. Hope this help.
Abigail
Thank you. This is helpful.
Natasha Tracy
Hi She_Has_No_Name,

Thank you for your comment. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I wish I could say something to make it feel better, but I suspect that's impossible.

What I can say is that you're right to hope. There is always the possibility of positive change. Getting help -- new help, additional help, etc. -- can be very hard and even disheartening at times, but it can also work, too.

I'm sending you some warm fuzzies. I know how hard it is, but the fact that you're still here speaks to your strength.

-- Natasha Tracy