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Some of you find it difficult to celebrate yourselves for the wonderful person you are. Perhaps you can't remember one single good thing about you that hasn't been made fun of, undermined, or turned into a weapon by your abuser. It is difficult to keep a positive self-image let alone cultivate a positive attitude when someone else attempts to squash you like a crunchy cream-centered bug every time you get "too happy".
In time, you may begin to feel like the fight for your Self is futile. A bit down the road, you may wonder why you fought at all. You think that you are not worth the fight - it's easier to become what your abuser wants you to be than to be who you want to be or become.
Monday morning, I met with Bob's teacher, principal, and school counselor. The district Behavior Specialist was supposed to be there, as well, but (of course) was a no-show. The purpose of this meeting--to develop a "plan" for Bob, my 10 year old son with bipolar disorder.
I'm still not sure the meeting accomplished anything, short of making the people in charge feel like they have some semblance of control where no control can be had.
Lots of folks have memory issues, but none with as much daily flare as adults with ADHD. If we're not getting on the wrong bus or heading east from Cape Cod to get to California, we're confusing meeting times AND places several times in a row. It's almost like we're wired to get fired.
Our degree of recovery comes and goes. Part of staying in recovery from borderline personality disorder (BPD) is learning how to manage symptom-provoking sudden stress. I had a crash course in doing so this past week due to a bank error that showed I had a balance of negative $10 million.
Being a mental health patient requires patience. Eternal, frustrating patience. When you have a mental illness a few weeks feels like a few years. A decade. A mental health patient's degree of patience is the difference between suffering and relief. Living in patience peacefully is the key to mental health recovery.
According to commonly quoted statistics, 90 percent of bipolar marriages end in divorce. When one factors in the difficulties of living with somebody who cycles through depressive and manic episodes, including manic episodes in some bipolars of binge spending, or worse, hypersexuality which results in infidelity, it is not difficult to see why the odds are stacked up against a long lasting bipolar marriage.
Feelings Swamp is a children's program hosted by Gator Al. In this week's episode Gator Al welcomes special guest alligator Gladys, and the two of them discuss how the use of "weasel words" often makes it difficult to process emotions in a healthy way.
Sunday marked the beginning of the Mental Illness Awareness Week in the US and Canada. These weeks happen around the world at different times of the year. In the US, this week was set aside by Congress to bring together organizations fighting for the awareness of mental illness. In Canada, Mental Illness Awareness Week was established by the Canadian Psychiatric Association.
And while large organizations run these national campaigns, there are things that every one of us, as individuals, can do to help.
Brenda M. Bomgardner (@BrendaBomgardnr) tweeted "There is a way to the other side. It is living a life based on your own unique values." She is talking about the life you'll create during and after healing from abuses of all kinds.
The trouble lies in defining what values you, the abuse sufferer, want to define as yours after digging yourself out from under the pseudo-values your abuser demanded you to incorporate into your Self.
I could just say yes but that would make this very short. If this seems a bit 101 it may be but I was asked and I thought it worth the post.
You can have an anxiety attack without having a panic attack.
Panic attacks are well-defined things. It isn't a notional concept. The terms anxiety attack and panic attack are not synonymous. For all that they’re commonly conflated (I'm guilty), they are distinct; In nature, process, treatment, and consequence.
Well, eventually, the depression demons took hold and he told me on August 5th 2023 that he decided he wanted to just move to MT and isolate himself from everyone. He had been offered a free place to stay if he did some maintenance. He is very handy and that type of situation was very ideal because it was flexible; he only worked on things on the days he was physically up to it.
We talked every night like "normal" up until he left on April 14th 2023. We had a long distance relationship then and so I didnt get to see him in person often and didnt see him that last week. He told me one last time that he loved me and he was sorry to hurt me and I have not heard from him since. He didnt even tell his parents or sister he was leaving.
I still love him as much as I ever have even though it has been over a year since we last spoke. I just had dinner with a close friend who was always very critical of him because often he would have to cancel plans last minute due to the Crohn's or because he would go dark for weeks at a time. She told me tonight that he is a selfish person and that if he truly loved me he would have gotten help for the depression. Oddly, she has been depressed before and suicidal which you would think would make her more understanding. I asked her if when she contiplated suicide was she selfish? She said yes. I said but are you a selfish person and she said no. I said that was the same for him. Sure him leaving me and his family was "selfish" but at his core, is he selfish? Absolutely not. She thinks because she was able to conquer her depression that if he really loved me, he would have fought his depression. It makes me sad to think she cant see the amazing guy that is buried under the depression. I know, without a doubt, if he did get a handle on the depression, that he would NOT be selfish at all. It is hard to understand why others cant see the true person under the depression.
I hope those that are struggling know that not everyone will abandon you in your time of suffering. There are people out there that see the real you and would do anything to help.
I encourage all those suffering from depression to not only tell your loved ones what you are going through, but also to seek professional help. And for those of you who love a person suffering from depression, have compassion and understanding for their struggle. Know they do not intentionally hurt you and deep down they still love you even if they cant show it.
Thanks for reading.
p.s. I also struggle with depression and anxiety but I did get help and between medication and coping techniques, I am able to be myself again.
From the story you told, it sounds like you know when your partner's alters switch.
I'm sorry this was written in the first/second person. But maybe apply this to your situation with a grain of salt.