Forcing an Alter Switch in Dissociative Identity Disorder
Should a loved one or a friend ever be allowed to force a switch in someone with dissociative identity disorder (DID)? What does forcing a switch mean? Let's go back to basics first.
In DID, a switch is when a person changes from one alter ego state to another, or, in very loose terms, from one personality to another. This is usually caused by a trigger that initiates or activates a switch. Triggers can be either positive or negative. A positive trigger is something non-trauma related and is pleasant enough to cause an alter to come forward and experience happy emotions, such as a special toy, cute puppies, or a favorite ice cream flavor. A positive trigger, in some instances, can be used to bring forth an alter.
Reasons Alters Switch
Alters within a system switch for a variety of reasons, but there is always a trigger, whether or not we can define what it is. Alters (headmates) can switch for all types of reasons depending on the trigger. Switching between headmates is usually involuntary, and can cause a great amount of distress with the alter.
Every DID system is unique. Some people with DID have more control over their switching than other people with DID. In a typical system, one alter generally takes over if the circumstances need it. For example, there was an occasion when I was under extreme emotional duress, and I wrote in my system's shared journal that if there was a headmate that was able to come forth and take my place, please do so. I then felt myself disappear and I remember nothing after that. A different headmate volunteered to step forward (or "front") because she had the skills and abilities to function under circumstances in which I could not.
Forcing and Triggering an Alter to Switch
I cannot speak for all DID systems, but there are times when it isn't appropriate to call, trigger, or force another alter to switch.
- One example is when other people do not like the alter that is currently fronting and want to speak with someone else. Asking for and trying to force a different alter to come forward because you do not like the present alter is tantamount to being in gym class in middle school and feeling left out because no one wants to pick you for his or her team. Asking for and triggering your favorite alter to come forward can be irresponsible, inconsiderate, and rude. Alters are not created for the entertainment of others. They were created for survival, not for games.
- Another example of inappropriately forcing out an alter would be asking the name of the alter who is currently fronting. Each system, and really each alter, should determine whether they are comfortable with giving someone on the outside his or her name. A name identifies who we are, it has meaning and value, and some alters in a system might not be ready to be revealed. This also includes mentioning the name of an alter to bring him or her forward.
Repercussions of Forcing an Alter Switch
Headmates will come out when there is a need for them. Switches happen when there is a trigger and a different headmate with a different role and skills is needed. If a member is not ready to come out, but you provoke him or her by using a name and triggers, it can ultimately be damaging to the headmate and the system. This casual lack of thought and consideration can lead to feelings of mistrust and betrayal. At the very least, it's abusive to the alter that was intentionally triggered.
Furthermore, it teaches the system that they have no control or voice as to what happens to their system or themselves. Feeling out of control will also lead to feelings of helplessness and powerlessness, feelings from which they already experienced from earlier traumatization.
Lastly, forcing a switch is a violation of their safety and protection.
Switching can be very unpleasant and stressful for an alter, especially if it is not done by choice. Please understand that if an alter has something to offer and is capable of coming forward, he or she will, but we are not a magic trick. We are not a freak show exhibit in a circus for the peanut-crunching crowds to view.
Hargis, B. (2019, October 9). Forcing an Alter Switch in Dissociative Identity Disorder, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2022, May 16 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/dissociativeliving/2019/10/forcing-an-alter-switch-in-dissociative-identity-disorder
Author: Becca Hargis
I'm seeing my therapist in a couple of weeks upon inspection that I might have Mutiple Personality Disorder. There's one alter who's revealed their name to me so far which is Macy, and the other which I know is there but hasn't wanted to come out. To be honest, Macy's always been quiet and doesn't talk a lot, but helps in a lot of ways by saying words that make me happy. The other one however I feel is going to be a defense mechanism since a whole butt load of things has gone down in the past and especially now where I'm under a lot of stress due to school. Macy likes to try and switch a lot with me especially late at night (as a coping skill) where my guilt from the day will catch up to me and I curl into a ball on my bed. Macy has been here ever since two years ago, but most of my life I always felt someone else were to be in me. Yesterday night, I believe was Macy's first time ever gaining control of my body as I cannot really remember anything during that time. I believe she only switched for a few minutes as it was already 12 am and I was tired from the day's work, (which was getting gifts and cooking my favorite meals for mother's day as a surprise) but my true question is how to get them to properly switch over. You see, Macy has never fully gained control before, it's always been dizzying headaches and the feeling of her trying to gain control. I want to let her font, but I feel tired on a daily bases. Can someone help me?
Does anyone remember their first switch? When I was in kindergarten I lost all my skills, regressed back to infancy essentially. Use your imagination. This made school hell. Didn’t really start talking until 3rd grade or so. I lost all these memories from grade 8 till 18. Since then the repressed memories have flooded me again and again. Newly navigating DID with a professional but it’s like coming home… finally
Could someone here help me with an issue? I've been diagnosed with DID, found out about my alters and it didn't go well... They almost all hated each other... I would have graphic wars amongst then going on in my head... Like I could see them in the back of mind killing each other for control... But since none of them could die that way they would just come back and continue fighting... This went on for months I tried conversation and compromising, even dictatorship but nothing really worked... They recently went dormant fronting wise and some seem to have disappeared. My old triggers won't work anymore to bring them out unless it's a flashback or new trauma happening. I need some alters for being social and some for being productive in different situations but now they have either gone into hiding or disappeared and the ones that do talk only argue and only front to leave a situation instead of acting. I can't seem to get them to get along anymore or talk to me(peacefully) and the only person who they will talk to is in another state. I do have one alter who still fronts but she is not healthy for me and is hated by all of my other alters because she will only do one or 2 things and both are an evil and bad habit; plus she won't talk to anyone and only front when me and my other alters are exhausted from the day. She is also the only female alter as we are all males. We tried convincing her that her habits were bad things, locking her up in the darkest corners of my mind as well as killing her... but none have been able to stop her for more then a few weeks. I need to get control again over her do the others will feel safe coming out. Any suggestions on how to handle my situation?
I have it recently been diagnosed with DID albeit I have had the condition for many years. It is only recently that it really manifested itself mainly due to a major family bust up. That was 7 months ago. My spouse has had a hard job coming to terms with it but is trying hard to understand it. She has met 2 of my alters and has learnt to get along with them. However, sometimes I disappear at inopportune moments and that frustrates her. She then starts shouting at the alter who fronted me to go and get me back and that really upset him and the system went into meltdown. Fortunately, I have managed to smooth things over in the system and slowly building up the trust we had. I have spoken to my spouse about this but it is not easy for her to grasp that something simple can trigger a switch. Sometimes I can switch for hours or a couple of days. I am just not sure how to get her to understand the damage that can be done by trying to force me to switch back. I am still waiting to have an appointment with a phsycologist but hopefully that will only be a few weeks away now.
How do I tell my therapist I think I have Multiple Personalities? Or how do I trick/ force the other parts of me to come out during our sessions so that my therapist can meet them and see them first hand??
I know we shouldn’t force an alter to come out but I really need help with dealing with them. And I don’t know how to ask for help with the problems I’m having with them, if I can’t prove that there here. And none of my alters likes my therapist. Or if they do they just don’t trust him enough to show themselves to him. And I honestly feel like they may go to any length to keep themselves from being seen for as long as possible. Anyone have any advice?? Wait, are we even allowed to ask for advice on here?? If we’re not allowed to ask for advice than I’m sorry. Please just email me to let me know that it is not allowed so that I know for next time. If we are allowed to ask for advice on here than yay please email me your advice. I’m stuck here. I’m not very social and have poor social skills. So just being able to email or text or any communications that isn’t face to face or seems threatening to me I feel helps with being able to open up more.
Please consider changing to a new therapist or simply be honest with him. This will make your alters feel confident and more comfortable in your relationship with her/him.
How do I get the part of me that takes care of the important things like calling insurance companies and paying bills and simply going grocery shopping to stay out long enough to actually get things done.
I was in a accident almost two weeks ago. And I think I got all the right info needed from the person responsible for hitting me and now i have to do a bunch of mumbo jumpo such as call my insurance and call the person responsible’s insurance etc.. and I don’t know of everything and everyone I need to talk to. Honestly if it was up to me I’d say screw it and just take on the bills and pay them myself just so I can avoid anymore people that’s causing me to be overwhelmed and shut down. However the part of me that is in charge of all this. They came out called my insurance was told to do something or call someone but only that part me knows what needs to be done but that part had disappeared again. And I can’t seem to get that part of me to come back out to finish everything that needs to be taken care of. I can’t do all this on my own. I don’t know who to talk to or who to rely on and who not to rely on. And it’s all just really scary to me. Because I don’t know who to turn to or not turn to for help. I don’t understand why I can’t just ask someone else who lives on my street for help with this when that is what We did when I was younger and we got by somewhat okay. We went to my neighbors for food and rides to school only when needed of course. Even asked a neighbor to teach me how to cook. (That one didn’t go so well tho ) but still. The part who is charge of importing stuff is refusing to ask for help from anyone. And I just really wanna ask a neighbor because I think they can help. What do I do?? Anyone got a clue?? please tell me..
How do I get my alters to come together and work with me?
I can’t even get any of them to help me clean up our room. They all want to do different things and it’s making me end up giving up and shutting down and we all end up sleeping.
I have a question. So I haven’t been diagnosed with DID. However, I do have concerns that I might have it. I’m seeing a therapist. And I want him to diagnose me properly. Because I’ve been misdiagnosed before with bipolar. So wanting him to diagnose me properly. And let’s say I do have DID. How do I get him to see what I have to go through. For him to diagnose me with DID he’d have to see the other alters. But for some reasons (side note: none of what I believe to be alters have any names), what I believe to be alters don’t show themselves to him. At least none that are extinctive. I’ve done my own research on DID came across on accident when researching attachment disorders (because I believe that one alter has Reactive Attachment disorder while another alter has Avoidant Personality Disorder). I’ve tried sitting down and just communicating with myself in my head. And writing down different things about different alters. And there’s definitely signs for concerns. How do I get my therapist to see my alters without forcing my alters to show themselves. I’ve tried tricking my therapist into triggering one of my alters. Without telling him of course. But he won’t go for it. I asked him if we could do play therapy. Which is something that he does practice and I’ve noticed that when I watch videos on play therapy my alter responds very well and is eager to participate in play therapy. However my therapist says that he needs to justify play therapy with his bosses before just adding it into our sessions. So I feel extremely stuck. Because if I feel that if we add play therapy in our sessions than my alter will join in and than that would be his justification right there. What do I do?
Thanks to people like you spouting pseudoscience on the internet, my impressionable teenager — who has never experienced extreme trauma of any sort, at any age -- has convinced themselves they have a dissociative disorder. You are causing real harm. Please stop and leave the writing about mental health disorders to qualified professionals. Or at the very least, please tag your articles with the disclaimer that you are NOT a trained mental health professional
My name is Natasha Tracy, I'm the Blog Manager here.
I'm sorry if anyone took Dissociative Living's work as anything other than personal experience. It certainly isn't meant to be seen outside that light. It's pretty clear whenever you look up anything about the authors what their backgrounds are.
It is very useful for those with a mental illness to read about how other people with that mental illness cope. That's what makes these blogs important.
Again, I'm sorry if these were seen in the wrong light.
- Natasha Tracy
I'm sorry to say this, but I presume you're the parent of the impressionable teenager? Perhaps you should keep an eye on your teenager and make sure they don't get in touch with information you think is so dangerous for them. Also, since the healthcare professionals you have so high in your regard seem to know very little, or very little useful, of Multiplicity. It is up to people with personal experience or those very close to them, to support each other and help each other heal. Lastly I would like to warn you, there is a lot of information out there, that you would see as very dangerous to your child. The Internet is not a playground nor a baby sitter. I suggest keeping a closer eye on your child.
uhmm can you force an alter to switch or front because you want it? like for no particular reason? it's for my story. thank you!
I think if you're able to communicate with that alter then you could ask them to front, but if they don't want to it'd be best not to force it.
Is it generally possible? Yes. Is it wise? That is a very big no. My wife is a multiple, and I have build a very close relationship with our sisters (all parts are female). Yes, I can ask them to front, and if I do, they would most likely come. However I do not even though they have all personally given me permission to do so. Even when not fronting, they're usually listening or will hear me when I speak to whoever is fronting at that moment. And most of the time they will answer through the person who is fronting. There is very good internal communication. Switching can be very draining energy wise, and there really is no reason to make someone come to the front for no reason. But think about this, would like to be forced to do something you don't want? Most of us have a doorbell at the front door, ever felt like not answering the door? Now imagine whoever is in front of that door had the power to force you to answer the door. Does that feel good? Just remember what doesn't feel good for you, most likely doesn't feel good for someone else either. So though it is possible depending on your relationship to the headsister or brother. Just don't do it.
I'm newly diagnosed 🥺 just becoming aware of how many I have and how many people hid it from me,I'm 40 and just realised it ruined most of my life,I hope to work with this now I know.
So i was recently diagnosed with DID but i don't know really anything about my alters is there anyway i can get to know them
theyll talk to you when they all want to
My wife was unfaithful after 16 years of being together I found out she was doing whatever from pictures and to everything in between,it only lasted a month but it caused me to split my emotions into alternate personalitys where one was always crying anywhere I was at(embarrassing),one was a jerk and was getting me in dangerous trouble,and another seemed to be a moment of myself in highschool,and me who seemed to be low self-esteem when I used to be happy.
In between certain times I would be sitting at my place when I would get a vision on my wife and her lover and the next thing I knew I was at the store with my wife saying I was acting childishly and crying the whole time,but I thought I fell asleep,then another time I was eating dinner and I looked at my wife and felt heartache then it happened again when I came to and we where walking down the street arguing and she said that I was being a big her and being mean!
Then I found out about (DID) and it explained alot of how I was feeling,my wife said when crying I sounded like a little boy she never heard me talk like that out of the 16 years we've been together,and when I was being mean she said I had a stronger dominant tone(that she also mentioned sounded attractive) but was intimidating.
So I was wondering (besides following me around on camera) is there anyway to be conscious or aware of what's happening when a switch is triggered?
I was diagnosed with depression and bipolar and social anxiety when I was a teenager but had thought I stabled out in my early twenties when I met my wife but am beginning to feel as if I was an alter ego all these years that was fronted because he was able to handle everyday life,and lost control of switching when the trauma of my wife cheated on me.
Is that even a possibility?
I don't have much recollection of when I was younger but little faint dream like memories but I figured it was so long ago and don't remember much before meeting my wife.
Or does this all sound pretty crazy?
If it is DID, it did not come about when your wife cheated on you. As you suggest it was there prior, and maybe the stability of the relationship kept you together.
DID typically happens to a child under extreme duress (pain or trauma) under the age of 9, most likely younger eg under 6 or 7. After that it is not possible for the psyche to fragment. An older child who experiences extreme pain or trauma will have a different (non-DID) response, eg PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, suicidality etc. You may have all of the above, but the DID would have started very young.
Different folk have more or less memory of childhood, but it sounds like you remember almost nothing. It is not because it was long ago. Most folk remember key events at least - a fun birthday party, the day their grandma died, being in a school play, a vacation, certain friends or teachers, being yelled at by a parent, getting into a fight with a sibling, eating watermelon on a sunny day... our memory is normally retained of certain good & bad memories and other random memories in between. Some people have really good memories with lots of detail, but that's the other extreme! So having almost no memories is consistent with your memories being fractured and archived in different 'personalities for your own self protection.
This is a great website for learning more. You posted a while ago, I hope you found some information here and assistance in your world!
Hi there! I just found out that one of my friends has DID. She explained to me that she keeps up by writing in a journal every night. I don’t know much because I just found out about an hour ago but she did mention that. Hope this helps and good luck!
Some alters are down, right evil!!! They exist to dismantle any happiness the host has. During one instance of the evil alter, I asked if the "happy" alter could come out. MUCH to my surprise it did and the person calmed down, began smiling and having a great day. It only worked that one time. Do you have any input on this? How did I luck out that one time. I've only tried it a couple of other times and it didn't work.
Alters are not evil!! There are some alters with the title, “Persecutors” that try to defend the system. This can be seen negatively to those outside the system, but those alters are truly hurting. It was probably shocking for that alter to learn that they were in a system or that people outside knew they weren’t the host/another alter. From that point on, they were more prepared to defend the system because they were more aware.
My boyfriend cries sometimes to me and tells me his other alter tells him I don't love him and tries to mess up everything good for him. His other alter cannot stand me and he and I have a mental war going on over my baby.. it's hard man. It really is. Because when his other alter comes out and wants to hurt me, it's wit my boyfriends body. Which is very hard for me to deal with. His trigger to bring my baby forth is me singing a song from my childhood that we sang ever since we've been together..
Alters are not evil. And it's still incredibly harmful. You're not fixing the person's mood - you're forcing a shift to someone who's happy. The upset part will still come out again later, and will likely be angrier next time they front because of what you did. You're re-traumatizing them, and calling them evil is absolutely making things worse. You didn't fix anything, you didn't make it "work" by forcing a switch. Okay cool the body appears happy now, but you've just shoved all that hurt back for a bit to pop up again at a later time. You didn't "luck out" and I'm grateful you weren't able to do it again. Consent is important, we're not a toy to be jerked around so that we appear happy for you.
Can you tell me how to reverse a identity switch that occurred on me on pupose. I'm a little skeptical but I think I'm right
Another time we should avoid switching when possible is with our children. I know my child alters want to come out to play but when they do that around my children it can be terribly confusing for them. Also, when child alters are out playing, they are focused on their own fun (as all children are) but as an adult, I need to always be focused on my children and THEIR play.
You have done it once again. What’s that you ask? Answered a question about DID I didn’t even know I had. Thank you for helping me get to know you that much better. P.S. Bravo for your great ending. I don’t even eat peanuts!
Thank you for your comments and you interest in DID. I hope you continue to find beneficial information amongst these pages.