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Relationships

Intimacy can be such a tabooed and feared topic, especially for those of us with dissociative identity disorder (DID) who have been subjected to years of prolonged abuse and unwanted touch. The very idea of intimacy denotes something very private, closely personal, and not prone to discussion. However, if true healing is to be obtained, those with dissociative identity disorder must discuss concerns of intimacy, closeness, and vulnerability in order to help heal and to have his or her needs met in their relationships. 
Knowing how to choose a therapist for dissociative identity disorder (DID) is much different from knowing how to choose a car or a box of on-sale cereal. DID treatment can be challenging and there are so many considerations to ponder when choosing a therapy for DID. Do you need a specialist? Do you need a DID therapist? What brand of therapist do you need?  What type of treatment does he or she offer?
With more than 1% of the population having dissociative identity disorder (DID), it's more likely than not that you know someone who has DID. He or she may be open about his or her diagnosis, or you may suspect the disorder even though he or she hasn't admitted it. So, what should you do if you think someone you know has DID?
Grief and dissociative identity disorder can be complicated. People experience grief at various times throughout their lives, often when someone passes away. These losses can be difficult to manage, and when you have dissociative identity disorder (DID), that grief can be even more complicated. Recognizing the complexity of grief and working through it is important for those with DID in order to get through times of loss.
Self-care involves taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional needs, and is especially important for people with dissociative identity disorder (DID). One component of self-care that is essential for people with DID to practice is setting boundaries. Healthy boundaries are necessary in order to maintain good health. Setting these boundaries and communicating your needs can make managing life with DID a little easier.
Forming relationships with alters in dissociative identity disorder (DID) isn't much different from forming social relationships. For example, we have close relationships and distant relationships, relationships built on open communication and relationships that seem to be closed off.  Those same complexities exist in the relationships people with DID have with their alters. Those of us with DID work diligently in forming relationships with our alters.  Understanding these relationships can eventually lead to better self-understanding and self-awareness, and can make managing life with DID a little easier.
Living with dissociative identity disorder (DID) presents unique difficulties, whether you're the one that has it or the person who loves the one living with it. I can only imagine how frustrating, confusing, even painful it must sometimes be to have a partner with DID. I've witnessed how challenging it often is for my own partner and, if some of the comments I've received here at Dissociative Living are in any way representative, her experience is typical. But it's also largely ignored. Partners of people with DID don't get that much support or encouragement, primarily because only those who've been there can truly understand (Caregiver Stress and Compassion Fatigue).
I'm thoroughly exhausted by the effort I expend to shield others from Dissociative Identity Disorder. I'm worn out on cleaning up the messes that inevitably occur when all that effort just isn't enough. I don't want to apologize for those messes anymore just now. I don't want to explain. I don't want to make speeches about personal responsibility and how I won't blame Dissociative Identity Disorder for problems directly related to - surprise! - Dissociative Identity Disorder. There are only so many guilty verdicts I can receive before I start to feel a little worthless. And I can only try so hard to protect the people around me from DID before I'm depleted.
I'm one of many people with dissociative identity disorder (DID). I lose time, regularly forget pretty important stuff, and I have alters who behave according to their perceptions of the world, not mine. How does that translate to daily life? I mess up - badly and often. As I see it, the fact that I can't control DID is beside the point when it comes to personal responsibility. I don't believe my mental illness entitles me to some bad behavior or extra leniency. But just like I can't use DID as an excuse, neither can anyone else.
Yesterday was a big day for me and my son. He started middle school. I received a painful reminder that I'd be a better mother if I didn't have Dissociative Identity Disorder and the unique memory problems that go with it.